Why is he so distant?

[brb6886]

I am a 32 year old female and lately my boyfriend is being distant and not spending much time with me. He's been very busy at work and has a huge job change about to happen that I know he's stressed about. We spent last weekend together and it was great. When he was taking me home on Sunday we had a misunderstanding. I took something he said the wrong way and cursed at him. I know, not very mature of me. He text me the next day and said I really hurt his feelings and that he thinks he's better off alone. After I explained and we cleared up the misunderstanding he said we were fine and that I didn't lose him. Well now he's being distant again. He ALWAYS calls to tell me goodnight. A couple of evenings ago when I got home from work he text me and said, "I'm home not feeling well and have a busy day tomorrow taking some cold medicine and going to bed but hope you had a great day." I know it may sound silly but goodnight calls are kind of our thing and he knows how much it means to me. Is it just because he's sick? Could he still be mad at me over what happened? Am I overreacting? Is he slowly trying to push me away? I've never dated a man that's so all over the place with his mood and so hard to read. He's 42 years old and part of me feels like if he didn't want this he'd just tell me. But another part of me feels like he's terrified of hurting me because I know he cares. Next week marks 6 months we've been together. I just feel like every time we take a step forward that he ends up taking 2 steps back. Also, his last relationship was a 10 year relationship that ended with him being cheated on. He's over her but I know he's still dealing with the trust issues and he's very honest with me about it. I am the first woman he's been with since his breakup a year ago. He's told me things like if he didn't care he wouldn't bring me into his home or around his children. Those moments are now very rare if not non existent. He's also said to me that I make him happy and smile and better but that letting me too close to him still sometimes scares him. Should I hang in there with him? I love him very much. But I hate having a boyfriend who I never see.

[Madame_Noire]

Hi BRB

 

First thing that rings out to me is I think maybe he is stressed with work. Especially during the run up to Christmas. What line of work is he in? I have a friend who had a FWB for 4 years and he worked in the capital. She thought he would eventually commit but he dumped her by text saying that he could not give her what she wanted because he was far too busy with work. I am not saying this is the case with your relationship at all, I am just giving an example as to why I think it could be work.

 

A good night text is nothing, it does not require much effort and surely he cannot be too busy to take time out to call or text you. However, my friend would often rant to me asking why he hardly ever calls or texts her. He worked in I.T.

 

How many kids does he have? Does he have baby mama drama with their mother? Does she know that he is dating now?

 

How often do you see eachother in a week?

 

Maybe it could be trust issues, no one gets over being cheated on, at least, they don't forget it. Have you made any future plans together? Has he said he sees a future with you?

 

 

Hope this helps xx