Girlfriend is starving herself....

[unnamed]

I have no clue what to do. Since the time she gets up until around 5, she only eats an apple. Then she works out on an empty stomach.

 

She wants to lose weight. She says her method is best and says she is not starving herself, but I say she should eat healthy (salads every meal, or something like that), then exercise.

 

I'm sick of this. It is unhealthy what she is doing, and she's trying to lose weight. I can understand that, but to begin with she's not overweight at all. If she wants to lose weight, excellent, but at least do it the health/proper way.

 

What can I do to get her out of this?

[Sera]

Maybe explain to her that the method she's chosen could actually be working against her.

 

When your body is not getting enough food, it sends the signal that it's being starved, and it will actually start to lose MUSCLE instead of FAT, in an effort to save that fat in case its needed later.

 

The best way to approach weight loss is to modify your lifestyle, make better food choices & eat smaller, more frequent meals. (and begin an exercise plan)

 

Is she eating at all besides her evening apple? If not, any weight lost by the method she's using will most likely all be gained back.

 

I have no clue what to do. Since the time she gets up until around 5, she only eats an apple. Then she works out on an empty stomach. She wants to lose weight. She says her method is best and says she is not starving herself, but I say she should eat healthy (salads every meal, or something like that), then exercise.

 

I'm sick of this. It is unhealthy what she is doing, and she's trying to lose weight. I can understand that, but to begin with she's not overweight at all. If she wants to lose weight, excellent, but at least do it the health/proper way. What can I do to get her out of this?

[Lucie]

Actually I don't eat breakfast, I eat an apple for lunch and then I play badminton. After that I go home and I eat healthy then through out the evening I snack on small stuff. Unnamed is just worried for no reason. I do this so that instead of burning the food in my stomoch I burn the fat. It is a great way and it has helped me out a lot. So I don't care what people say should be healthy or not. And if you say that if I eat after I get home and then I will gain all the weight back then I will just try and eat LOW Carb things, like Dairy products. I take supplements anyways so my body is not missing anything. THANKS

[clia]

Two questions:

 

1. Is this a drastic change from her old eating habits?

 

2. Is she eating dinner after she works out?

 

If she is only eating an apple all day, then she might be heading toward a problem, but if she is eating dinner in the evenings (a 'real' dinner), then you might be getting worked up over nothing. I think a lot of women at some point go through the 'I'm going to starve myself to get thin' phase. Then we realize that it doesn't work.

 

Personally, I rarely eat anything until at least 3 or 4 in the afternoon. I'm simply not hungry until then, and I refuse to eat just to eat. This is how I have always been. Did she used to eat 3 squares a day? Does she complain about being hungry? (If so, then she's definitely starving herself. If not, then maybe she's just not hungry.)

 

If this is a drastic change, it's not the proper way for her to lose weight. She'll just end up gaining it back when she reverts to her old habits. Starving yourself simply does not work. There are tons of foods that she can eat that are healthy, low in calorie, and low in fat.

 

I do think you should back off. (After all, swimsuit season is fast approaching.) You can't control her, and if this is how she wants to go about losing weight, then that's her decision. I know you care about her, but you'll only end up making her mad. It's hard for any of us on the board to judge whether or not things are out of hand with her. You are the only one who knows that. How long has this been going on for?

 

If she is heading toward anorexia, you should ask her to see a doctor or try to get her to see the light before she really puts her health in danger.

[Rob]

Hey dude,

 

Whatever she is doing is NOT good. She needs to speak with a trainer, and he/she will explain to her that exercising on an empty stomach will harm her body. Secondly, when a person is exercising, she/he needs more feed, since more calories are burnt. When you exercise, the metabolism steps up, so basically she should not be afraid even to eat fatty food, and fat is NECESSARY. Bottom line, you have to make her understand that it is very crucial to eat right, especially while exercising, and she needs to speak to a qualified trainer, who will give her a good diet/exercise recommendation. Otherwise, she will damage her body significantly, and God forbid, on an emty stomach people have died, while exercising. Dude, you got to help her here, if she won't listen, don't let her go to the gym any more.

 

I mean it

 

Good Luck

I have no clue what to do. Since the time she gets up until around 5, she only eats an apple. Then she works out on an empty stomach. She wants to lose weight. She says her method is best and says she is not starving herself, but I say she should eat healthy (salads every meal, or something like that), then exercise.

 

I'm sick of this. It is unhealthy what she is doing, and she's trying to lose weight. I can understand that, but to begin with she's not overweight at all. If she wants to lose weight, excellent, but at least do it the health/proper way. What can I do to get her out of this?

[Rob]

Hey dude,

 

Whatever she is doing is NOT good. She needs to speak with a trainer, and he/she will explain to her that exercising on an empty stomach will harm her body. Secondly, when a person is exercising, she/he needs more feed, since more calories are burnt. When you exercise, the metabolism steps up, so basically she should not be afraid even to eat fatty food, and fat is NECESSARY. Bottom line, you have to make her understand that it is very crucial to eat right, especially while exercising, and she needs to speak to a qualified trainer, who will give her a good diet/exercise recommendation. Otherwise, she will damage her body significantly, and God forbid, on an emty stomach people have died, while exercising. Dude, you got to help her here, if she won't listen, don't let her go to the gym any more.

 

I mean it

 

Good Luck

 

I am exercising, and am eating twice as much as I used to, because the body needs more food when exercising. Whatever she is doing is worse than not exercising at all

I have no clue what to do. Since the time she gets up until around 5, she only eats an apple. Then she works out on an empty stomach. She wants to lose weight. She says her method is best and says she is not starving herself, but I say she should eat healthy (salads every meal, or something like that), then exercise.

 

I'm sick of this. It is unhealthy what she is doing, and she's trying to lose weight. I can understand that, but to begin with she's not overweight at all. If she wants to lose weight, excellent, but at least do it the health/proper way. What can I do to get her out of this?

[Laurynn]

Hi Lucie,

 

I don't mean to come across as a know-it-all, but I'm an RN, and someone who used to have an eating disorder in my early twenties. I didn't make myself throw up, I didn't binge eat...but I would starve myself. I was thin to begin with (slim), but I loved being very thin, and it got to the point where I started abusing laxatives and diuretics (pills that make you get rid of retained fluid). I, too, would eat nothing all day but an apple. I felt 'in control' and I loved being the envy of my friends (they were mostly overweight).

 

When you go all day and eat nothing but an apple, like Sera said, you're not losing fat...you're simply losing muscle. Your body realizes its being starved, so it does ALL it can to conserve the fat it has. Do you really want to lose all your muscle? You sure won't look very toned.

 

Going all day, and only eating a tiny bit (an apple) is bad in two respects. By what Sera and I mentioned above, you're going to end up majorly screwing up your metabolism...it will slow right down; it's the body's way of conserving.......so if you ever DO start to eat normally, or half normally again (like after you've lost as much weight as you think you need to lose), you'll gain it back FASTER THAN YOU CAN BELIEVE. And if that's not bad, people usually gain back MORE than they lost to begin with. So if you lost 5 lbs due to the way you're eating now, you'll end up gaining back that 5 lbs plus MORE. This is exactly why most people who go on starvation diets, or low calorie diets (less than 1000 cal/day), they end up even MORE overweight..and it becomes a vicious cycle.....they gain back more, starve more (eat less), gain back MORE, etc etc.

 

As well, they say that you're biggest meal should be breakfast. If you're not a breakfast eater (I know I'm sure not, the thought of food first thing in the morning makes me want to gag, but I am trying to at least have a dish of yogurt or a banana), at least have your biggest meal of the day at lunch. Your body needs a proper, balanced diet to FUNCTION. Food is fuel. Starving yourself, and eating the way you do, it's definitely going to have an impact on your brain function (your ability to concentrate, your memory, doing well in school, energy level).

 

Snacking all evening is a terrible thing to do when you're trying to lose weight. They're finding now, that if you want to lose weight, you should not eat past 6pm....or most DEFINITELY after 8pm.

 

You said that in the evenings, you eat a lot of "low carb" things, like "Dairy products." Yes, things like 1% milk are only about 14gms carbs per cup.....but not ALL Dairy products are low carb. Yogurt sure isn't, no way!! Some little containers of it contain as much as 32gm/serving.

 

What about the FAT in dairy products?? Cheese contains absolutely TONS of fat. 2 slices of pizza, due to the cheese, can contain as much as 60gms of fat!!! Ice cream contains a fair bit of fat, too.

 

If you really think you need to lose weight, here are some suggestions..from someone who's been successful with them.

 

1) eat SOMETHING for breakfast. Even just a low cal muffin, dish of All Bran, a grapefruit, half slice of toast w/ peanut butter....and a glass of milk. Breakfast is what "boosts" your metabolism at the beginning of the day.

 

2. Eat 6 small meals a day. I prefer to eat something at 8:30am, snack at 110:30am, lunch at 12-12:30pm....snack at 3pm, dinner at 5 pm, maybe a small snack at 7pm.

 

This keeps your metabolism 'revved up' throughout the day. This is how thousands of people have successfully lost weight. Low cal does NOT WORK! Either does starvation.

 

3) Drink 8-10 glasses of water per day. Drinking this much water, helps to make your kidneys function more effectively...and it's your kidneys that help to break down the fat in your body!!

 

4) For when you work out (this is something new I learned, it's interesting and makes good sense)....have some Carbs BEFORE you work out (gives you energy, more effective workout)..then have protein AFTER your workout.....helps to build lean muscle much better!

 

When you starve yourself...and go all day with only an apple in your body, you are doing DAMAGE to the cells of your body. They need NUTRIENTS to function properly, to repair themselves.

 

Also, you mentioned that you take supplements. The word supplement basically means "to 'top up'"....so a person takes supplements in ADDITION to getting the required vitamins, minerals in their diet. There is no Fat, Protein or Carbs in supplements..and a body NEEDS these three things, yes..even FAT!!!!

 

Supplements do NOT contain the 'daily required amounts' of things like:

 

Vitamin C

 

Vitamin D

 

B complex vitamins

 

Vitamin E

 

Phosphorus

 

Magnesium

 

Potassium

 

Selenium

 

Iron

 

Vit B12

 

etc, etc etc.

 

They only contain SMALL amounts. If you were to eat nothing, and only took supplements, you'd definitely NOT be getting that right amounts.

 

Poor diet is a contributing cause of CANCER. Did you know that they're finding that in women, a deficiency in Vitamin B 12 has been linked to Breast Cancer? That's pretty scary. I know for a fact that i don't get enough of that in my diet, so I do take supplements......but supplements are NOT ENOUGH.

 

You sound very defensive and determined that what you're doing is 'right'.....all you're doing is screwing up your metabolism.....and before you know it, you're going to start gaining weight..and having one HELL of a time trying to lose it. Mark my words.

 

Laurynn, RN

[Miss Mojo]

...that is excellent advice - you are a wealth of knowledge and i hope people listen to your advice as a health care professional. i'm going to print that out myself as a reference guide to healthy eating.

 

i have always been slim, but now i am slimmer than i want to be. i am actually trying to PUT ON WEIGHT, but i have a very fast metabolism and it is not easy. i am 5'7" and 53kgs - not within a healthy weight range for my height.

 

i eat a lot of fried food (kfc and mcdonalds), but my diet is NOT balanced AT ALL.

 

laurynn, do you have any advice on what kind of foods i could eat to help me gain the weight i have lost? i believe that protein is something i should tuck into a bit more. i want to start a healthy balanced diet, instead of the crap i usually eat.

 

i would be eternally grateful if you could help me out a bit here

 

miss mojo.

[unnamed]

My girlfriend (Lucie = Nancy, my gf) will actually believe in what you said. I've told her similar things, and she simply believes that what she is doing is "right", like you said, just because it worked before.

 

She said its the only thing that works. I told her I'd like to her normal every day, something light, nothing heavy.

 

... I just hope what you said sinks in.

[Laurynn]

Hiya girl!

 

5'7" and 53kg. Hmmm. Have you ever had your thyroid checked? One of the #1 signs of Hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid gland)is...good appetite/eating a normal amount but losing weight or being very thin (below the healthy weight for your height) and unable to GAIN weight.

 

Here's a really good site with info on Symptoms of Hyperthyroidism (there's also a genetic predisposition to it, so if you have someone in your family who has thyroid problems, either HYPO or HYPER, you could have it as well):

 

Info on Hyperthyroidism Symptoms, etc

 

3 weeks ago, after a few years of being told by docs that I was 'fine', I finally found a good doctor who agreed to do the proper bloodtests, and I was diagnosed with a type of HYPO (underactive) called Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I've suffered over the past 2 yrs with a horrible intolerance to cold (even cold when it's 90 degrees outside), always tired, unable to lose weight, periods of being down in the dumps, all the textbook symptoms. I'm not on medication, and I've actually lost 3.5 in the past week, thank GOD!!!!

 

In addition to having your thyroid checked, you should have a full workup done......(I think).....maybe you have some kind of absorption problem? (you're body isn't able to absorb the nutrients in the food you eat)..I say this because heck, you admit to even eating JUNK FOOD (which is normally sky high in carbs and fats/causes weigh gain for sure) and you're still very below weight for your height.

 

If you don't feel comfortable discussing your health in this forum, please feel free to email me: <e-mail address removed>

 

I think before you start trying to change your diet so that you can gain weight, you should have a good physical exam and some baseline bloodwork done. I can explain more if you mail me!

 

Take care!

 

Laurynn :-)

[Laurynn]

Hi there...

 

I truly hope for her sake that she'll seriously give some thought to her attitudes on dieting and diet. Yes, she may very well lose 5 or 10 lbs the way she's going......and that will cause her to believe that what she's doing is "right" and obviously successful.......but there will come a day that she'll start to eat 'normally' again (doesn't take eating much more, when you've basically starved yourself for a fair period of time), and she'll be absolutely crushed to find that she's gaining weight very quickly.....then it becomes a vicious cycle (like I mentioned)..that leads to more unhealthy dieting/starvation, and on and on.

 

I know because I was there in the past. I'm the kind of person, that when I get stressed (relationship breakups are good examples, even if I was the one to end it), I can't eat. Can't even look at food. I can go days without an actual meal. The thought of eating when I'm stressed makes me stomach turn. So naturally I end up losing a LOT of weight...going down to a weight that's below the normal range for my height......but darn, I'm feelin' good!.....it's nice when my clothes are all too big, when I get to go by new ones! (LOL)......I feel like a million bucks......but after awhile, I'd start to feel sooooooo warn out and run down. Then sure enough, I'd get sick (a cold, the flu)...because your immune system becomes less efficient..and you can't fight things off as well.

 

There was a point in my life that I screwed up my metabolism so bad from going days with maybe eating half a meal, that's it.....that it seemed like every 2 days I'd gained a pound. I was disgusted!! And it was a real bugger to lose..because your body's in 'converse-mode'....and it's holding onto every ounce of fat it can (everybody has some % of body fat, you HAVE to have some!)...

 

I know what it's like to feel 'in control' of your body...and to SEE the results, and I know what it's like to have people telling you that you're doing yourself harm, and that they're worried about you. I used to go through a box of 18 pieces of ExLax a week......all because I had to have an absolute flat abdomen...and even the tiniest bit of bloating (I used to get quite bloated after eating, but you know why? That's what happens often, when you're starving yourself).....it got to the point where my boyfriend at the time, and my Mom, would go through my stuff and find my ExLax...and toss it in the garbage....and I'd be so desperate for it, that I'd be up in the middle of the night, fishing it out of the garbage can...like a thief in the night (LOL). It's amazing that I didn't screw up my large intestine/bowels for life. And the water pills I was taking, they were some heavy duty ones (Lasix)....and I was taking high enough doses that it's no wonder my blood pressure didn't fall so low that I'd have heart problems, a heart attack, a stroke. God was obviously lookin' out for me cuz I was plenty stupid.

 

I used to love it, in my teens, when my parents would go away on holidays, and leave me at home alone. (16, 17). I used to *live* on large glasses of nothing but water and bran flakes.

 

Anyway, I hope your g/f will read this. I know what an exhilirating feeling it is to be thin......what a rush it is.......how you think you're doing it right, how you swear up and down that you know what you're doing.........but it's just too risky.

 

I think we have so many cases of Cancer nowadays, largely in part, due to poor diet.

 

I really encourage your g/f to go to her family doc for a physical....make sure she's not low on iron, that she's not having problems with her kidneys and liver due to her semi-starvation (a simple bloodtest can test all these things)......make sure she's not anemic.

 

I think it's awfully caring of you to even notice her weight loss and eating habits. Most guys would probably not notice, or not care.

 

Laurynn

[unnamed]

She is a vegetarian (thus the supplements -- lack of iron)

 

I don't think she takes them everyday, though.

 

She is, I'm guessing, 5"6 maybe. She weights just barely 140. She says its too much for her weight.

 

I certainly do not think she's overweight, fat or whatever else you would like to consider it.

[Miss Mojo]

...i will send you an e-mail today