Orije Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 Hello everyone of love shack. I have a situation that came up that I don't really know what to do. Me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for 8 months and she has been faithful and even though there have been misunderstandings we always figured them out. During this time a friend of my girlfriend who is a guy has constantly asked her to hang out and she has always asked for my approval but I tell her I trust her son its okay. They never got to hang out because something always come up. Last night she then comes out and says she doesn't want to hang out with him alone. She sent me screenshots of their messages where they played a game where they asked each other questions and they'll have to answer truthfully. He asked what they would do if they were to watch a movie. She responded only to watch a movie and nothing else and if he tried anything that she would push him off. The conversation went on and she stated she has a boyfriend and she would never cheat on me. He kept saying she was the one and that he shouldn't of been an ******* to her. This shocked me because I never knew they had history together. She said it went over her head because she forgot since it was 2 years ago. I learned they never had a normal hangout session it was them usually being sexual and they never had sex. He kept trying to say smooth lines but she kept asking why he ended it in the past and what not. I told her to just block him and stop talking to him and she said she doesn't like something to end like that and she wants a mutual ending. I told her I understand but the guy is gonna play mind games and keep this going on. She kept asking if I trust her and I said I do but this is crazy. She got mad at me but got over it, but in the end I don't k ow what to do or say to her. I told her if anyone disrespects my relationship or family I would kick them to the curb and I don't want to cause problems I was just being honest. She is currently texting him trying to resolve this but should I let this go on until they come to an understand or what? Thank you so much I'm 21 and she is 19. If anything else ask ahead (: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 Tell her you will not share a GF with an EX of her's. There is nothing to figure out this EX is trying to hook up with her. So she needs to block him and end it with him or you will end it with her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Orije Posted December 6, 2015 Author Share Posted December 6, 2015 I totally understand, im at work and she is I guess trying to mke this work out. if in the end she ends up friends or still communicates with him ill be angry for awhile. I tried to stay away, but she said im her boyfriend and I have to be here to help her with her problems and concerns. I don't want to force her to do anything. They dated for about a day, but were sexual other times in the past. I don't want to end things with her. just make the right decision. should I wait this out and see how she ends it? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 She is an immature 19 year old. She is absolutely clueless about how inappropriate "saving" this friendship is. She is disrespecting you and your relationship. You are being a damn push over. You need to put it to her straight that this isn't right. Ask her how would she feel if you had a female friend that's been sabotaging your relationship and you insist trying to save the friendship despite how she felt?? Your GF would go bat sh it crazy. Time to man up. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Orije Posted December 7, 2015 Author Share Posted December 7, 2015 Thank you I knew I should of grown a pair and said something to stop this. I sent her a text asking how the conversation went, if they are still talking should I say something like, "Look babe you have to put yourself into my shoes. How would you like it if some girl I used to have a sexual history with came up and tried to hook up with me and I wanted to resolve things with her? This guy is disrespectful to our relationship and he isn't even a best friend just a guy who knows your best friend so why save this? he is probably going to pull the same stunt or wait for a moment to pull a fast move. its up to how you deal with this, but if you choose to keep him in your life then im leaving because this is immature and disrespectful" or something like this? thank you very much Link to post Share on other sites
Author Orije Posted December 7, 2015 Author Share Posted December 7, 2015 I called her and asked what happened. She ended things with him and wont talk with him anymore. I told her how I felt and what should of happened in the situation. I did spaz on her because 2 hours ago on twitter she posted "how do you tell your girl best friend that you liked her?" I didn't know what was going on and asked her. its all resolved, but I feel bad that I flipped a little bit on her :C thanks guys for your responses! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Orije Posted December 7, 2015 Author Share Posted December 7, 2015 Things are a lot worse now. I didn't sleep the night before because i was up thinking about everything and told her i was heading to sleep early and because there are finals tomorrow. I layed in bed and checked her twitter to see that she said things like "if i was a good girlfriend then why is my boyfriend ignoring me/today isnt my day" i sent her a message telling her i couldnt sleep and i was awake. she read and replied saying that she doesnt want to talk. i tried to call her phone and message her, but i told her i will hopefully hear from her in the morning before finals. i dont know what else to do. she posted that her heart feels broken. im not sure if i said anything wrong or she feels like our trust is broken....i dont know what to do or say Link to post Share on other sites
Keke1 Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 Things are a lot worse now. I didn't sleep the night before because i was up thinking about everything and told her i was heading to sleep early and because there are finals tomorrow. I layed in bed and checked her twitter to see that she said things like "if i was a good girlfriend then why is my boyfriend ignoring me/today isnt my day" i sent her a message telling her i couldnt sleep and i was awake. she read and replied saying that she doesnt want to talk. i tried to call her phone and message her, but i told her i will hopefully hear from her in the morning before finals. i dont know what else to do. she posted that her heart feels broken. im not sure if i said anything wrong or she feels like our trust is broken....i dont know what to do or say Pretty sure her heart is broken because of that dude man. She did not want that relationship to end. How do you forget someone you slept with while staying in contact with them? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 Stop trying to get a hold of her.....you are letting her win, this is how she wants you to feel....like crap. She's being a brat. Stop reading her social media.....it's all just stupid childish games. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Keke1 Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 Stop trying to get a hold of her.....you are letting her win, this is how she wants you to feel....like crap. She's being a brat. Stop reading her social media.....it's all just stupid childish games. Listen to sound advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Orije Posted December 7, 2015 Author Share Posted December 7, 2015 Thank you and I will take this advice in the future. I woke up early and sent a good morning message like I usually do. She responded when she woke up and has been texting like she usually does. I am trying to be myself, but I feel hurt and not in the mood. I'm seeing her soon before her final begins and mine ends, but I don't know what to say or do when I see her. I really do love her, I'm just in a blegh mood. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 Thank you and I will take this advice in the future. I woke up early and sent a good morning message like I usually do. She responded when she woke up and has been texting like she usually does. I am trying to be myself, but I feel hurt and not in the mood. I'm seeing her soon before her final begins and mine ends, but I don't know what to say or do when I see her. I really do love her, I'm just in a blegh mood. Dude, What the hell are you doing? She "forgot" she had a history with this guy in the first place? lol Man that should have told you all you needed to know You should have dumped her right then and there. Do not even contemplate continuing in a relationship with a Nineteen Year old who already has a convenient memory bank and a short term loss of long term memory. Run boy, RUN and never look back. This chick is a Drama Class waiting to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Orije Posted January 25, 2016 Author Share Posted January 25, 2016 Hello everyone. I have an update that i would like to discuss about. My girlfriend and i were texting and out of the blue she asks something and this is how it went. Her: I want to text __ to see how he is doing Me: Why? Give me a good reason? Her: He is a friend and i still care for him. Me: he disrespected our relationship and wanted to pull a move even though you have a boyfriend. He crossed the line with me. If a girl did that you would be angry. You'd probably cut my throat lol Her: Just forget it. Me: I trust you, but i dont know what to expect out of doing this? You can do what youu want i won't be a dick and control you. I trust you, but just watch what happens. Her: Just forget it. I try to start another topic conversation, but for some reason I'm extremely angry and don't know what to say or do. I trust her and i know she wouldn't do anything stupid and wouldn't hide anything. Should i let my anger pass and go away or should i say something else? Thank you guys! (: Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Dude, all the way from the beginning of December to today, and she still has this guy on her mind? Sounds like she is besotted with him. She is doing a power move to control your relationship - don't be a doormat. You need to tell her something like "Listen, this guy has been on your mind all this time? It's obvious who is important here... maybe what we had has run its course. Go to him. Maybe he'll take you back. Just don't come back . See 'ya." Seriously, from the way this is going, within a half year tops, they'll be hooking up behind your back anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Orije Posted January 25, 2016 Author Share Posted January 25, 2016 I don't think he has been on her mind. We talk and hang out all the day and she says this relationship is amazing and so on. We hide nothing from each other, but he did post a picture of his car in the snow and she liked it. A few moments after i seen this she asked that. She doesn't do anything without asking my permission first, i don't know why, but she says so I know what is going on. Maybe she felt bad about what happened previously and wanted to see whats up? I'm totally against it and i don't want to push her away because i love her and this relationship is amazing. I'm not sure if to confront her and express why i'm angry or push it off? Thank you (: Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Orije, You both (no disrespect here) are very very young....you both are in the learning mode of "what it takes to have a "happy" relationship. That being said, I think your GF is really struggling with the other guy and where she stands...maybe keeping him as Plan B or simply guilt. At any rate, use this as a learning lesson in that there are different types of people with different values and practices. One practice doesn't make them good or bad but maybe just not the fit you want for a lifetime (not that you're looking for that lifetime commitment now). This is a very valuable lesson....Smackie is right and do not waver from what you want and it is up to her to decide to stay or leave. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 I don't think he has been on her mind. We talk and hang out all the day and she says this relationship is amazing and so on. We hide nothing from each other, but he did post a picture of his car in the snow and she liked it. A few moments after i seen this she asked that. She doesn't do anything without asking my permission first, i don't know why, but she says so I know what is going on. Maybe she felt bad about what happened previously and wanted to see whats up? I'm totally against it and i don't want to push her away because i love her and this relationship is amazing. I'm not sure if to confront her and express why i'm angry or push it off? Thank you (: Its almost been 2 months since you posted on this. She asked you if she could text him.....of course he has been on her mind. She would have just texted him without you knowing initially had she wanted to not keep the drama train rolling and just hoped you would not have found out. But its been nagging at her. so she asked you. Hence, he has been on her mind. Will it take another replay around Valentine's day for you to have the scales fall from your eyes? She is just going to resent this and do something underhanded and blow this whole thing up again. Don't believe me? Beware the Ides of February....lol. You'll know by the Fifteenth. Link to post Share on other sites
moebius Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 IMHO you have to make clear (really clear) to her that her attitude is hurting you. I think the fact that she brings up this subject by herself is a flag (if not red, maybe yellow). In your OP it looked like an external factor she couldn't control. And she was trying to solve that. But then now she wants to bring that up again. And then what? She cut him off, and now she leads him on again. That doesn't make sense and I hope it's only a tactical error from her part and nothing else. Link to post Share on other sites
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