Changing?

[CrazyAmie19]

Hello all! I just joined the forums, I've been searching for some answers about somethings so I thought it would be interesting to get others views and opinions about my situation. Any help from anyone would be greatly appreciated!

 

Okay here we go! I basically live my life in fear..fear is keeping me from living a normal life! I don't drive, I don't go out, I can't stand being alone..especially at night..I can't do anything! I'm extremely shy and I only have 1 friend..but I guess having 1 good friend is better than having a lot of friends who are back stabbers, I lost all my friends because I'm to scared to be myself in public..when I actually go places! You see, a couple years ago my life was changed forever! It was 9:30am on December 18th..it was cold outside..ice was on the roads and the pinetrees around looked beautiful..anyways, I was walking down the road..to get a candy bar..my dad kept saying he didn't want me to go that day..but I ended up pursading him to let me go, so I'm walking down the road looking at the beautiful pinetrees I was just talking about thinking about how safe I was and how lucky I was to live in a neighborhood like mine. I remember seeing a big spot of black tar in the road..for somereason I was walking extremely fast..geting further and further away from my house..I remember getting near this stop sign at the end of the road..I felt like all the sudden I was being watched..I could hear a car drifting behind me..I kept walking..then the guy shouted " how much would it cost to **** you ", I said what like a total retard..pretending like I didn't hear him..I remember seeing this little kid in the car, he couldn't of been but 2 or 3..the guy kept making comments about me...a car came up from behind him so he drove off..I took off for home..running as fast as I could..I thought I was going to die..he came back and kept saying that he'd love to slam me against this car and bang me..I kept running and running..he swurved at me a few times and then I got near my house and he sped off..so obviously he was wathcing from the time I left.

 

I know this situation could of been worse but since that day I've been so scared..I had my last name on my coat so I was freaking out that he would track me down or come to my house. I can't even walk to my mailbox unless my mom or dad are watching..I'm 19..turning 20 with absolutely no life! I screw everything up that I do b/c I always freak out!

 

Does anyone have any idea how I can stop being so shy and afraid..it is absolutely ruining my life!

[Craig]

Amie, you're not crazy there is help for you. Other people have had similar and even nearly the same experience and feel/felt the way you do now. You absolutely need to get yourself into therapy as soon as possible. You can get back your life but you most likely need some assistance and the sooner you get it the better for you.

 

My guess is that you'll find what you're looking for in a therapist that specializes in trauma. Remember this, you may need to visit more than one therapist to find one that you feel you can work with--that is very normal.

 

Cognitive behavior therapy or CBT might be a good approach to start with but your therapist may have a different approach.

 

If you need help to get to your first appointments enlist the assistance of your friend or family. Force yourself to go if you need to, but just go. Best to you, Amie.

[whichwayisup]

Sounds like you need to see a therapist to help you cope with your fears and shyness.

 

You've certainly had some things happen, sounds awful and scary. Sorry that you're feeling that way.

 

Because of your experiences, you've taught yourself that it's okay to close yourself off from life. That's a learned behaviour - From fear. Maybe you also have post traumatic stress syndrome from that scary situation.

 

The good news, the learned behaviours, and the fears can be undone. With the help of therapy, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy teaches you the skills on how to fight the anxiety, gives you confidence in yourself by slowly facing your fears by doing exposure therapy and also alot of talking. The negative thoughts can be controlled too, and you'll learn how to teach your brain to re-think and process thoughts to be positive.

 

I know this is alot to take in, but talk to your family dr about a referral. I truely believe this CBT will help you. Don't isolate yourself, talk to your family as much as you can. Join some health websites specializing in the anxiety and PTSD. Try googling healingwell - that's a good website for you. Many people are on it and give good support to those in similar situations with anxiety, depression etc.

 

Hope this helps. Again I'm sorry for what you went through. I do hope you feel better.

[Craig]

^5 whichwayisup

[whichwayisup]

Frick man, I know!!! We're sharing the braincell tonight eh baby?? LOL! Good advice.

[CrazyAmie19]

Thanks so much for all the advice from you guys! I know I should really talk to someone about all this but I just can't go to a thearpist!

 

I realize that you only live one time in life and I want to live it to it's fullest, I guess I'm going to have to start doing the things I freak out about and hope that someday it won't be as scary..I guess a good start would be just to be me around the people that I love..instead of hiding myself from the world.

 

I hope I have enough strength in me to start just being me!

 

Thanks again!

[whichwayisup]

May I ask why you can't go to a therapist? If you don't feel comfy answering, that's OK. Honestly though, it could really help you alot.

 

I know how hard it is to actually get the nerve up and go. I've been doing CBT for over a year now and at the beginning I was shy and embarressed about going. Wouldn't tell anybody and I was SO ashamed of my anxiety disorder. As time went on, I realized how important this therapy is, how much good was coming out of it, I kinda though F it, why hide it now. I'm making ME a better and stronger person and also, SO many people seek therapy at some point in their lives, so it really isn't a big deal.

 

If it is $$ you're concerned about, there are colleges and universities which have cheaper, if not free, councillors.

 

I really hope you reconsider going as it could help you so much. The first step, which you've done here - Talking about it - is wonderful...The next step is DOING something about it.

 

I'm not sure if you have enough posts to have Private Messaging privilegdes, but when you do, feel free to PM me anytime. I understand all that you're feeling.