I think one of the senior partners could be attracted to me but not sure [updated]

[Dog Woman]

I've known/worked with one of the partners in my firm for 15 years. I have the utmost respect for him. He is always approachable regarding work issues, listens, is very liberal in his thinking and I value his opinion. For the last 12 months he has been overseeing a project I have been working on and at times it has been very challenging but he has been very supportive and seems to have appreciated the work and effort I have done for the firm. I have always been able to consult and discuss difficult issues with regards to the project and his advice and guidance have been invaluable. He has encouraged me to develop my skills and I have learnt a great deal from his leadership methods - he is very calm and level headed. His people skills with other staff are excellent and at times he has a laugh and joke with everyone. I found myself seeking his guidance with regard to a decision I was trying to make when faced with an opportunity to transfer to another office.

 

 

He is married, his wife is much older than him. I am the same age as him. There have been a couple of occasions where he has mentioned his wife in a light hearted way - mentioning the times he is in the dog house with him, not going to home so he doesn't have to speak to her and today, commenting that ringing his office was like speaking to his wife (he is based in a different branch office to me). He seems to make reference to her in front of me. I'm wondering why? Is he hinting he's having personal problems but is making light of it but is indicating he wants to confide in me or is it just his sense of humour or is he flirting in some way to get attention or I am just a very valued employee who does the job he asks me to do and he feels comfortable with?

Edited December 7, 2015 by Dog Woman

[d0nnivain]

It's your imagination. He is making conversation with you, showing humor & his human side.

 

For a man to be a senior partner in a firm he knows how to go after what he wants. If he wanted a relationship with you, he wouldn't hint or beat around the bush.

 

He also probably knows that taking up with an employee leaves him vulnerable to a sexual harassment lawsuit so it's just not worth the trouble.

[katiegrl]

Are you attracted to him?

 

You could be projecting.....

[Dog Woman]

Are you attracted to him?

 

You could be projecting.....

 

 

I am attracted to him but I also have the utmost respect and value his opinion and trust his judgement. He always gives me confidential, sensitive tasks to do. I enjoy working for him, knowing that the work I do is appreciated. I just couldn't work out why mention his wife in front of me?

[Survivor12]

Perhaps to remind you that he has one.

[anika99]

It's possible that he's attracted to you and enjoys somewhat flirty banter with you but it doesn't mean that he wants an affair with you or to cheat on his wife (or maybe he does) but why does it matter to you? Don't sh@t where you eat. Having an affair with a married man at work would be a very stupid thing to do.

[Dog Woman]

Perhaps to remind you that he has one.

 

 

Yes I did wonder that, but he always gives me a cheeky smile when he mentions his wife, almost like he is flirting.

 

 

I've done nothing to encourage him and have just been pleasant, approachable, helpful and professional with him.

[Dog Woman]

It's possible that he's attracted to you and enjoys somewhat flirty banter with you but it doesn't mean that he wants an affair with you or to cheat on his wife (or maybe he does) but why does it matter to you? Don't sh@t where you eat. Having an affair with a married man at work would be a very stupid thing to do.

 

 

It doesn't really matter. I just wondered what he is playing at. I'm just going to carry on my relationship by making no difference. I can't avoid him. Just today, I've been asked to liaise with him by another partner in the firm on a decision the senior guy needs to make as it will impact on my workload and some future tasks.

[Dog Woman]

Following my original post in December 2015 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/platonic/business-professional-relationships/560834-i-think-one-senior-partners-could-attracted-me-but-not-surethere there has been another occasion last week that has caused me to wonder what this senior partner is up to and I would appreciate any thoughts and guidance from members on this forum.

 

On Friday I was in the canteen making some cups of coffee. The senior guy came into the canteen with one of the managers from his office (located elsewhere in the county). Both had been at my office, the company's head office, for a meeting, which had finished and the senior guy had come into the canteen to wash his empty coffee mug. The conversation between the two guys went something like this and I ended up getting involved:

 

Manager (to Senior guy washing his mug): So you are washing your own mug. Have they not got someone that would do that for you?

 

Senior guy (indicating to me): Yes she's called Jane. I didn't respond and stayed silent.

 

Manager: She's thinking of a reply.

 

Senior guy (indicating to me): Don't bother.

 

Me: It (his banter) just washes over me.

 

Senior guy (to me): Nice hair.

 

Although inside I felt flattered I didn't react to the flattery and flirting and quickly changed the subject, especially as there was a third party present, by asking them both how the meeting had gone.

 

I don't see that much of him these days as the project I was working on and he was overseeing has finished. Any contact I have, I kept brief and professional though a a couple of months ago I felt the need to explain to him while I wasn't myself in the office and not concentrating on something he was trying to explain to me - I had received some bad news about a friend and I just couldn't focus on my work. The senior guy offered a listening ear if I wanted to talk and help if I needed it. I appreciated his kindness at the time and just thought he was being a supportive boss.

 

Is this guy up to anything or is just being human and enjoys some innocent banter with me? Please advise so that I can decide if I need to have a quiet word with him and ask him to keep our relationship professional or if I just ignore his comments.

[GorillaTheater]

I guess I'm not seeing much in the way of flirting. It looks like run-of-the-mill banter to me.

[Dog Woman]

I guess I'm not seeing much in the way of flirting. It looks like run-of-the-mill banter to me.

 

That's what I think I'm seeing too. I just wasn't sure, though I have read up on what constitutes flirting between a boss and an employee and certainly nothing my boss has ever said or done, matches any of the criteria. I know he trusts me and he has supported me in all sorts of other ways. He valued my work and persuaded the other partners to give me extra responsibility in the firm. I think he knows when he would be over stepping the mark. That respect is mutual and I know what I can and can't say to him.

 

He has a tough job at time and gets some difficult situations to deal with that no other senior manager in the firm would take on. Sometimes I think the banter is just his way of having some light relief from it all.