Forza.Taki Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Thanks for all the replies guys! I am really double thinking about my next move. Maybe I came off a bit too strong or aggressive when she didn't feel the same. And I really haven't tried anything too romantic yet. I haven't even held her hand yet. Maybe I'll try that if I get to see her again. In terms of visiting her at work, I asked her in advance and she wanted me to come in because she was 'bored'. She was expecting me and she later texted me saying "Thank you for entertaining me at work today". I don't know. I only go for girls that I REALLY like, and I'm really not desperate to find a girlfriend. The letters I've sent her just had sweet messages and I never even used the word 'love' in there. Just said she's the most beautiful, sweetest girl in the world to me. I tried to be as nice as possible with her because she's had experiences with abusive/uncaring boyfriends who stood her up. I thought I was going towards the right angle but I guess I'm not too sure anymore Thanks again for all the advice! Much appreciated Was she openly telling you about her 'uncaring', 'abusive' boyfriends? If so, then I think your attempt of being nice to her was actually a fairly smart move. Unfortunately, she just may not be interested in you. More details could definitely change how we perceive your situation, but it just seems like to me that she just isn't interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Just said she's the most beautiful, sweetest girl in the world to me. Way too much for someone you've seen only 2 times and did not even hold her hand. The gifts, the cards were too much too soon and the flowers ended up being the poo that hit the fan. I noticed you said you only go after girls you like a lot. You need to fine tune this. You need to go after girls you like a lot and that likes you a lot in returns. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author maru_h Posted December 9, 2015 Author Share Posted December 9, 2015 (edited) Was she openly telling you about her 'uncaring', 'abusive' boyfriends? If so, then I think your attempt of being nice to her was actually a fairly smart move. Unfortunately, she just may not be interested in you. More details could definitely change how we perceive your situation, but it just seems like to me that she just isn't interested. We had a few nights of deep conversation and she told me some of her struggles as I did the same. She has been mistreated so badly in the past and I also believed that I needed to be extra caring towards her to show that I'm different. To go in further detail, she has been sick for the whole month we've known each other for. So I just sent her a small box of tea, Halls, and a get well card. I don't think it was an overwhelming gift. There is also a small backstory to the birthday rose and the card. The night before, she was celebrating her birthday with her family and it didn't go very well. She was crying and texting me about how every birthday of hers is ruined by thoughtless people. I cheered her up through text and told her 'I would do anything to make you happier on a special day like this, nobody deserves to be treated like this on their birthdays. I'm sorry." So since I said that, I figured writing a letter with a flower would slightly better her day.... so yes. There's that. I always asked for her confirmation before doing anything. I never gave her unexpected surprises as she was fairly passive to start off with. She even hesitated to give me her address in our very first meeting lol. I think she was interested in me (well at least in the start) because she couldn't look at me straight in the eyes. She kept telling me she is shy and that she'll try not to do that 'next time we see each other'. She was already making plans for the 'next time' and it's just very frustrating to see her all the sudden fade away and ignore me like that. @Gaeta Should I talk to her about this and sort it out? Or is this too far into the deadzone? Edited December 9, 2015 by maru_h 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 We had a few nights of deep conversation and she told me some of her struggles as I did the same. She was crying and texting me about how every birthday of hers is ruined by thoughtless people. I think she was interested in me (well at least in the start) because she couldn't look at me straight in the eyes. The 3 points above to me are not the actions of a woman romantically interested in a man but just a woman looking for friendship and a shoulder to cry on. @Gaeta Should I talk to her about this and sort it out? Or is this too far into the deadzone? Absolutely not. From right now you do not try to contact her again. If she wants to talk to you or see you she knows where to find you. Compare her to a scared cat. How to you catch a scared cat? NOT by running after it right? You've got to let it come to you. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 It's pretty obvious OP this girl isn't feeling it for you. I think you're more into her because she's giving you the brush off. It happens. You get spurned and you find yourself obsessing over why they're not into you. It's a sh-tty feeling, just about everyone has been there, in time this will pass and you'll find a girl who will be just as into you as you are for her. Stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
newt Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Maybe this is just me but I have no interest in being facebook friends with someone I am dating. Link to post Share on other sites
newt Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 I agree with you here. Movies aren't exactly a date, unless you are in your teens maybe. Showing up at work is definitely a no no, unless invited. So at what point in your 30's do you go to the movies? I never considered it on date 2 or 3. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 You were used for attention OP. This won't be the last time it happens so save your money and skip the flowers, etc. Save that stuff for once you're getting your end in regularly. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBullFrog Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Pretty much, lol. Most women today care nothing about any of that romantic junk. They want excitement. They want aloofness, unavailability, even disrespect. They find those those things exciting . Not this traditional wine and dine stuff. This man gets it - but you got to be good looking or rich to get away with that tactic. If you are average or below she will next you. Girls want guys who are wanted by other girls. If they know you are desperate or lonely you get friend zoned or put on the back burner. Link to post Share on other sites
newt Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 This man gets it - but you got to be good looking or rich to get away with that tactic. If you are average or below she will next you. Girls want guys who are wanted by other girls. If they know you are desperate or lonely you get friend zoned or put on the back burner. So that's why this girl has the hots for me? I text her once a day and call for like 10 mins but make sure I schedule a day to see her again Link to post Share on other sites
pizzaro Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Sounds like you broke the cardinal rule: never ever indicate to a woman you're interested in that you actually *like* her . A lot of women out there seem to only like men who act disinterested or who treat them like garbage, disposable. An example: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/560721-strung-him-along-now-he-s-doing-same-me-should-i-just-move Keep looking for a woman who actually appreciates you and your efforts. THIS x1000. Always try to maintain maximum aloofness. The moment you expose yourself, it's game over. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Thanks for all the replies guys! I am really double thinking about my next move. Maybe I came off a bit too strong or aggressive when she didn't feel the same. And I really haven't tried anything too romantic yet. I haven't even held her hand yet. Maybe I'll try that if I get to see her again. Next move????? Sweetie, no. There is no next move. Sorry. I know you really like her but no, doing MORE is not going to work. I really don't think anything is going to work but absolutely the ball is in her court Link to post Share on other sites
Maxtor Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 I've been talking with this girl for about a month now. We've gone on 2 movie dates and I sometimes visited her at work to make her smile. We texted pretty much everyday and snapchatted quite frequently. Just 3 days ago, it was her birthday. I brought her roses and a card to show that I truly care about her and she seemed really thankful for it. But ever since, she stopped responding to me and has been ignoring my snapchats. I've already already given her some small gifts and a card to show that I'm interested (2~3 weeks ago). So ever since 3 days ago (since I gave her flowers), I sent her good morning texts and there is absolutely no response for the whole day. She still hasn't responded to it. I know that she is not busy. She is often making Facebook statuses and is posting funny videos. She isn't doing much at the moment as school finished and I just don't understand why she would suddenly stop responding when she always used to respond immediately for the last month. It's really frustrating me. Is she playing a game? Is she simply losing interest (if so, why all the sudden when I give her roses?) Am I too nice to her? Any advice would be helpful! Thanks Never gift a girl. Thats my advice. The only gift you should giver her is your company. If she doesnt like it, next. Link to post Share on other sites
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