What's going on with my FWB?

[SassAndCass]

I need help with this guy that I’ve been hooking up with since the end of august. We are now in our fourth month of hooking up. We see each other once a week, there’s only been two times that I didn’t see him on the weekend which I instead saw him during the week. I’m a university student so I can’t really see him during the week. He’s also slept over every single time that I’ve seen him except once. When he leaves he always thanks me for seeing him? We don’t kiss goodbye, just hug. Although he's made kissy lips at me while laying in bed in the morning, while I was getting dressed after showering but I froze and turned away and continued to dress up. He’s even showered at my place, and used my towel. I should mention that he’s initiated it almost every single time except twice.

 

We haven’t hooked up every time I’ve seen him, once we played video games and he just slept over. I told him that time that my sister was staying over and he said, “I still want to see you.” And when he got here we played a game and then he rested his head on my lap and I played with his hair and he fell asleep and then we went to bed in my room and just talked and slept. No sex.

 

I have him on FB, Snapchat and we occasionally text. We (rarely) talk on the phone and when we do it’s pretty short. He’ll snap me randomly sometimes things like his arms, him singing (he’s a singer and has a lovely voice) and once he snapped me saying that he heard Katy Perry and it reminded him of me. (I love her and the first time we met, I wouldn’t shut up about her). He doesn’t look at my story all the time, although he looks at it more and more often as time goes on. And before I was watching this guy’s snapchat story and he asked me who it was. He adds things to his snap story while he’s with me too. Like if we’re watching tv or something.

 

He’s met one of my sisters, two of my friends and my niece. He also walked through the snow to see me. I haven’t met any of his friends though… but we’ve never done anything outside the bedroom with one another besides the first time we met and partied together and slept together. His friends always pick him up and drop him off at my place, his mom has picked him up too before, which is odd I think.

 

He calls me babe, baby and always uses heart emojis. When I see him he tells me that I’m cute or funny, sexy, hot. I don’t like the lights on during sex and he’s always reassuring me that it’s okay and that I don’t have to worry.

 

One time I was going grocery shopping with my friends and he said that he would come with us. Another time I was telling him about something my family does for our religion (a ceremony type thing) and he remarked that he always wanted to go to one and that the next time we have one that he wants to go. I’m going to a concert soon and he said he was going to get tickets for it if his friends wanted to go. I kept telling him about it and that he should go, unfortunately his friends didn’t want to go and the concert is far so he can’t go by himself. Another time we hooked up he was saying that we should talk more because we don’t really once the lights are out. I got into a fight with friends (while drunk) and I both texted and snapped him saying they were being mean and I was bored and whatnot. He answered my texts and snaps, asking why they were acting like that and reassuring me and whatnot. The next day he even checked up on me asking if everything was okay.

 

About a month ago as he was leaving he said “We’ll go eat soon.” “Us?” I asked, rather confused because… well I don’t know. He said “Yeah… or we can eat here?” I think he mistook my confusion for not wanting to. I said “Okay.” He hasn’t brought it up since. Should I bring it up? How do I go about doing that?

 

He’s funny too, he always dances around me or sings. He shows me funny videos and songs and singers he thinks I should check out. He also shows me songs that he’s working on. He showed me a song that was about a girl who has to show that she likes a guy. He's showed me this song multiple times. Is there any significance to this?

 

The most recent time I seen him was 10 days or so ago. He walked through the snow to see me again and when he got to my place we just cuddled (he was very cold when he got there, temp wise i mean) and talked for like an hour. He just asked about my weekend and he asked where I was going (to a concert out of my city) and when I would be back an who I was going with. He also brought up the first time we met. He showed me more songs he likes and asked why I don’t go out much anymore. I told him why and he told me there was this place that I had to check out because it’s pretty chill and there was a low chance of me going overboard (lol). I told him that I’ve been planning to. It sounded like an invitation but I’m not sure. He also described our having sex as 'making love' which he never has before.

 

The most recent time I seen him he asked if I’ve hooked up with anyone else since we started seeing each other, I said no but I lied. I’ve made out with three guys since then. This was before I developed feelings for him. I asked if he did and he said “Just making out and stuff.” I felt really jealous when he told me this. What is stuff? Why would he ask that? Can I bring it up again and ask why he asked?

 

However, since then neither he or I have texted one another. But like I said before he typically initiates it. Do you think that I should text him for once? Maybe he's waiting for me to text him? I don't know. He has looked at my snap story since then though. I think if he wanted to see me or text me, he would. But I have people telling me that maybe he's thinking the exact same thing, especially since he's always doing the chasing and I haven't. Would texting him be too much?

 

I’ve never even had a boyfriend, he’s my first fwb so I don’t know what to expect or which of these things just happen in those kind of relationships. Are we heading towards a relationship? I have no idea. I'm also not satisfied with being just FWBs anymore, in fact I don't think I'm the type of person who can have casual sex, so I either need to end this, or have it go somewhere more substantial.

 

Thanks in advance to anyone that read this and offers advice. I know it’s a lot to read and go through and I’m not the best at organizing my thoughts.

 

If this doesn't fit in this section, sorry! Since we're not technically dating but I want to I figured it would fit here.

[Gloria25]

Uh, what's your question here?

 

I say don't look into the things he does/says means that you are more than FWBs until you both clearly discuss and agree on it.

 

My last FWB spent weekends with me, we went to dinner, movies. He even met my mum, and sis-in-law. Helped me nove furniture, did repairs in my home/car, and even offered to rebuild my closet.

 

At the end of the day he started sleeping with others, we never evolved past FWB status, and upon his divorce, he said he didn't want to be with me or anyone else.

[winny]

Yes you can text him. Its okay.

And if u have feelings for him I think u should tell him about that.

[Charlie Harper]

Someone is not FWB material here, and that is you! So talk to him and let him know and see how it goes.... maybe you'd be surprised.

 

Good luck because you are involved...and that destroys the FWB agenda.

[SassAndCass]

There's several questions here.

 

From the information I've given, do you think it's possible to turn this into a relationship?

 

Should I text him even though it's been over a week? He usually initiates, I hardly ever do. (I have anxiety and I'm scared of rejection) Or is it over?

 

And he's brought up dinner like a month ago, but not since. Should I bring it up and if I do, how so?

 

Sorry I get pretty rambly. I realize my second question might clash with the first and third depending on how many other variables.

 

Edit:

Yes I now realize that I am not the type who can be an fwb... So I don't think I'll be trying this again.

Edited December 10, 2015 by SassAndCass
Full answer wasn't down