Anne. Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 We have been dating close to a year now and its my turn to visit. He is always unsure bout his work schedules thus it is hard for us to plan something. We are suppose to spend new years together and go to few places in europe. Hotels & flights are all booked and nw he said he has to go to US for work on the eve of Christmas. I am really upset & disappointed for not being able to see him. Im just drained from all the stress of being apart & for the fact that it is so hard for us to even have a fixed schedule to meet. Sometimes just by saying that he is trying n nt actually fixing anything doesnt really work here. I know that it is nt entirely his fault that his boss is so heartless to send him to the gulf of mexico on Christmas eve but im sure he had a choice as well. He is a great guy but this is just driving me crazy.. Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Who is the one who does most of the planning? If it's you, I would suggest you step back...way back...and let him plan. If he really wants to see you and you are not bringing it up, he will make it happen. If he doesn't, he is communicating with you that your relationship is not a priority. I have been in a long distance (2 1/2 hour drive) relationship for 2 years now. For the first year after he moved, I never once asked him when he was coming or when I was going there. It was established that we would alternate, but I did not initiate any of the visits. I needed to know that he was committed to the relationship and making it work. I couldn't know that unless he showed me and the only way to show me was for him to plan consistent visits. We are limited to every other week due to my custody schedule, and he has made sure that we see each other every other week since he moved away. That was the only way this relationship was going to work for me, and he knew that. Let him show you how much he misses you by backing off and not bringing up visits to see each other at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Who asks an employee to travel on Xmas eve? That's not right. He has the option to say no...why doesn't he speak up? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Anne. Posted December 10, 2015 Author Share Posted December 10, 2015 It sort of felt balanced as he did all the bookings n I bought my tix to europe. But what bothers me is that it is hard enough that we are on different timezones, its the "im not sure, i dont know, i will know soon about my work schedules" that is making this harder. Hurts more that he choose to go on this work trip for a whole month. All he said was he has to go. Really need a Miracle right now ? I Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 It sort of felt balanced as he did all the bookings n I bought my tix to europe. But what bothers me is that it is hard enough that we are on different timezones, its the "im not sure, i dont know, i will know soon about my work schedules" that is making this harder. Hurts more that he choose to go on this work trip for a whole month. All he said was he has to go. Really need a Miracle right now ? I Just to be clear, you've bought your tickets to Europe for the New Year. And knowing this, he agreed to away for a month from Christmas Eve. Am I right in assuming that this leaves you out of pocket and with cancelled plans? If I'm right, this should be the time you walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Anne. Posted December 10, 2015 Author Share Posted December 10, 2015 Just to be clear, you've bought your tickets to Europe for the New Year. And knowing this, he agreed to away for a month from Christmas Eve. Am I right in assuming that this leaves you out of pocket and with cancelled plans? If I'm right, this should be the time you walk away. Yes, Ive tickets to 3 different european countries & no one to go to/with. It is even more frustrating when we talked & he kept saying that its not within his means.. he has to go.. Im really very depressed right now, its the season holidays & he still choose to go. I dont know what else to say to him or do this anymore Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Yes, Ive tickets to 3 different european countries & no one to go to/with. It is even more frustrating when we talked & he kept saying that its not within his means.. he has to go.. Im really very depressed right now, its the season holidays & he still choose to go. I dont know what else to say to him or do this anymore I would break up with him. Seriously. The writing is on the wall here. I'm sorry OP, but this doesn't seem to be working. He's more or less left you stranded and out a lot of money over the holidays. What was he referring to when he said "this is not within his means?" Travel to the European cities? Had he booked tickets already or were you the only one who'd done so? In any case, I have a hard time comprehending his work commitment - what type of work does he do that requires him to travel on Christmas Eve? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Anne. Posted December 10, 2015 Author Share Posted December 10, 2015 I would break up with him. Seriously. The writing is on the wall here. I'm sorry OP, but this doesn't seem to be working. He's more or less left you stranded and out a lot of money over the holidays. What was he referring to when he said "this is not within his means?" Travel to the European cities? Had he booked tickets already or were you the only one who'd done so? In any case, I have a hard time comprehending his work commitment - what type of work does he do that requires him to travel on Christmas Eve? He had booked the tickets for himself already too. When I told him since he cant do anything much about his work schedule, why dont i fly earlier to europe just to see him & ill jst do the europe trip by myself after & now he says we will only have 3 days together n why would i want to be in europe by myself after. He is in Oil&Gas, i find it hard to believe it either.. why would anyone make someone leave on christmas eve for work.. just heartless.. Now im really doubting him. ? Link to post Share on other sites
emi Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Im sorry you need to go through this. I dont even know what to say. What is ur family doing in vacation? Stay strong girl:( Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 He had booked the tickets for himself already too. When I told him since he cant do anything much about his work schedule, why dont i fly earlier to europe just to see him & ill jst do the europe trip by myself after & now he says we will only have 3 days together n why would i want to be in europe by myself after. He is in Oil&Gas, i find it hard to believe it either.. why would anyone make someone leave on christmas eve for work.. just heartless.. Now im really doubting him. You get SO little out of this faux relationship. To what end? If neither of you plans to live near each other anytime in the next year, why are you wasting your time with this guy? Link to post Share on other sites
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