weylyniw Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 I'll try to keep this short. I had an affair (single OW) with a MM for a year. I couldn't take the pain anymore and ended it. It was a loving, wonderful relationship and he was an amazing man, he met my parents and I met his kids even. But it was all too much and he wasn't leaving his marriage. Shortly after ending it, there was a DDay when he broke NC to tell me how much he loved and missed me. Wife found the text. Since then, he has decided to work on it "for the kids" as they say. Its been three months and I don't know how that's going other than they stopped couples counseling. He breaks NC every couple of weeks, which I have replied "I love you, let me know when you're ready." As in, ready to be single. I'm in therapy and I'm trying to get my act together. We met, of course, at work. We worked together for quite some time. I finally moved on to another job and so did he. I got an offer from my old company the other day that is difficult to turn down. Close to home, livable pay, good benefits. My current job is a long commute, higher stress, and better pay. However, I learned the other day that exMM also is considering one of the open positions. Even if I didn't apply, this would put him driving past my house every day, working with our old friends, working in our old haunts. From what I've heard, though, he seems adamant that he wants his old career back (he moved onto another whole new career after leaving our work place). Granted, this is the only place he can work because he doesn't have the degree other agencies require...but, still. He hasn't been hired, only got an application. So I'm at a difficult spot. Wanting to chase down a better job option, but the possibility that exMM would be there lurks in my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Krashi Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Contact with your affair partner will be bad for you. I would keep the current job and turn the new one down. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Take the better job and ignore any and all contact with him - whether he works there or not! It's up to you to make decisions that are going to better your future. Dating any married man isn't your best decision. Start dating available men. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 I work around xMM and it totally stinks. I say stay away from it and find another job. I'm sure that's not the only company in town. I understand that working there would make your life easier in one way, but if you and him both end up there, you'll be really sorry you ever went back. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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