does NC really work? do I have a chance at getting her back?

[heartbreakkid15]

NC? do I break it? do I even have a chance?

 

Hi everyone, very new to this.. I'll try not to bore you guys

My story, well I met this girl about 3 years ago we fell in love fast, and decided to move in together after a few months of dating.. it was AMAZING, best choice I've ever made in my life. I loved her truly and at the time had two jobs and was goal driven and motivated... she had failed her teaching license test and stopped trying way before I met her. So naturally I helped her study till 3am every night and she took another test and passed! It was an awesome day. The summer hits and she gets a offer at a school in a new state.. she told me "I'm not taking it, I don't wanna leave you and want to be with you". I told her there's nothing to worry about I'm moving with you. So we moved that summer to maryland.. man it was amazing! New life, new start, new things... and we finally were actually allowed to have a dog ! (Gave her a puppy for her birthday a year before) it was perfect.. she always begged me that she was ready to marry. She's 27 and I'm now 24. She was exactly what I wanted in a woman.. but sadly I ruined that.. as we moved to maryland things were tough for me, I applied to countless jobs and would not get an answer back, it frustrated me to see her paying for everything... eventually I got so frustrated that I gave up hope, I got really lazy and unmotivated... I started playing the xbox alot.. nd I've never even been a video gamer.. slowly I began to not even ask how her day was.. I pushed her so far away.. but my mind just kept saying "she won't leave you don't worry" she spent a whole year being the best she can be trying to motivate me, help me find a job, help me go to a community college and get a degree so I can find a better job.. I pushed it off everytime like "I will don't worry" but I wasnt.. so finally 4 weeks ago, she asked me for a break.. needed time to "miss me".. I asked her to reconsider and she couldnt. So I drove to new jersey and waited a long stressful week.. Friday she text me and says "feelings have change, I'm sorry we need to work on ourselves" it was a brutal blow.. I said please just give me one last chance.. and she said "I'm sorry, I know you want to work it out, but feelings have changed" so.. naturally I said stopped texting and didn't wanna call, I said I'll do no contact for a few weeks and get over this.. I have fixed my self in a great way.. got a job, cut my hair, changed my appearance, work out everyday, called the college here and sit up classes.. I'm actually very proud of myself.. but deep down, I know I want her in my life.. I was months aways from proposing to her (Christmas, I had already bought a ring).. but she hasn't contacted me at all.. she still has all of our photos on fb, twitter and instagram.. my only question is what do I do? I told myself maybe after 30 days I'd contact her just a simple "hey how are you" but now I'm telling myself, if she doesn't contact me for 30 days, clearly she doesn't miss me and I should just walk away? Any advice?

[d0nnivain]

Breaks are break ups. She doesn't need more time. She already knows she no longer wants a relationship with you but she's trying to soften the blow by sugar coating it & giving you false hope.

 

Sorry.

[Erik30]

NC is not some strategy you can use to get someone back. It's about you becoming "yourself " again and moving on. It doesn't work if you set a deadline when to contact her again, and also keep track off her in the meantime.

 

There's a chance she might call/text you one day... or she won't. The thing is, if she never contacts you again, NC will help you realize it just wasn't meant to be and you probably won't care that much anymore anyway.

 

There might also be another guy in the picture, especially when you consider her comments like "we need a break," and "feelings have changed."

 

Walk away, and keep doing what you're doing now. (Job, working out, school) Maybe she'll come back, or you'll meet a new girl. Certainly don't wait for her, keep focussing on you.

[fiskadoro]

Try. You never really know until then, do you? None of us know your girlfriend. None of us are your friend, either. Today I am in a good mood because _____________, and so I believe in the power of love/reconciliation, etc. Maybe tomorrow I feel sour because of my own relationship failures. I come online, looking for company for my misery.

 

 

This is LS, in a nutshell. Waiting is fine if you want to hold onto pride, but if you have some heart and backbone, you can deal with rejection. Go in and make your absolute best effort, be honest, humble, show her the guy she loved when you first met. Should that not work, THEN you can say you tried and nothing worked. But until then, you have work to do.