Would losing her virginity cause a girl to develop an attachment towards me?

[loverage21]

If a girl lost her virginity to me, would she likely develop an attachment towards me?

 

Is it because she feels guilty and therefore wants to stay with me to justify losing her virginity? Or because she feels like she gave something special to me therefore wants to make it work?

 

Or is it likely because she has legitimate feelings towards me?

 

Ladies. What is your experience?

[bluefeather]

Almost every day I see threads that are titled with such generalized questions. As if all women have the same exact reactions to certain events...

 

Sorry, you asked for ladies' perspectives so I'll shut up now.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

The reason she (would develop/enhance additional feelings for you post-sex, is because she valued her virginity, and her choice to share it with you)

 

(m-m-m-m-m-OST people develop increased strong feelings for a sex partner, but it is especially true of women who shared their V-cards)

[MidwestUSA]

In your case, probably not. Do you recall posting this?

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/554346-lost-her-virginity-me-fell-off-face-earth-how-can-happen

 

 

Read the responses to your admission of 'going mental' after you violated a 16 year old in a hotel room. She ran; in all likelihood, others will too, unless you get some help for your mental issues. Meanwhile, you should probably refrain from dating. Completely. Totally. Nada.

 

Seek help. How many times do we have to say it?

[MidwestUSA]

And, OP, I have to ask. Do you feel like you deserve a virgin? Is this part of your wanting to be someone's first?

 

Because you shouldn't be looking for something you can't offer yourself.

[Samhain]

These days, virginity means very little. You will even have people who actively seek somebody to lose their virginity to that they have no intention of ever seeing again, just to lose that "v" card.

 

Midwest has a great point though, you've been in this situation and you have seen that the 16 year old you had sex with ran 100mph.

[loverage21]

And, OP, I have to ask. Do you feel like you deserve a virgin? Is this part of your wanting to be someone's first?

 

Because you shouldn't be looking for something you can't offer yourself.

 

No I was thinking about Alexa. The girl who had a bf for over two years while in high school. The girl who is now a freshman in college.

 

She is actually a virgin. I was wondering in a situation like hers (with any girl not just Alexa), if a girl has loved before but I was the one who took her virginity if I would have more of a special meaning to her.

[Samhain]

No more or less than anybody else who had sex with you. virginity isn't some rare diamond anymore, or something that a dowry gets, or something that absolutely ensures marriage and a future. It's the same smacking of genitals that it is in any other situation between people that are new to one another.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

If a girl lost her virginity to me, would she likely develop an attachment towards me?

 

Not necessarily, especially if she regret it later.

 

Is it because she feels guilty and therefore wants to stay with me to justify losing her virginity?

 

No, I don't think so.

 

Or because she feels like she gave something special to me therefore wants to make it work?

 

Very unlikely unless she is deeply religious.

 

Or is it likely because she has legitimate feelings towards me?

 

The most common reason to keep seeing someone after you lost your virginity to them is because you like the person. However, feelings change, especially when you are a teenager. You might like someone for a week, then suddenly you don't and you have absolutely no desire to see them anymore.

[MidwestUSA]

No I was thinking about Alexa. The girl who had a bf for over two years while in high school. The girl who is now a freshman in college.

 

She is actually a virgin. I was wondering in a situation like hers (with any girl not just Alexa), if a girl has loved before but I was the one who took her virginity if I would have more of a special meaning to her.

 

How are you so certain that she's still a virgin? Just curious.

 

You need to stop obsessing over this Alexa. If her BF of two years didn't take her virginity, it's not likely she'll give it up to you. You've admitted to being very immature for 21, and you mentioned you have Asperger's, IIRC.

 

Just another question. Alexa is in college. What are you doing with your life? You need to get a handle on things if mental breakdowns are interfering with gainful employment. What do you have to offer a woman (or girl, in your case)? You don't seem to speak of sex within the confines of a healthy relationship; you're just fixated on a V-card.

[TheArtist]

In my opinion if you're just looking to take a girl's virginity to create a bond then you're definitely going the wrong way about forming a lasting relationship.

 

A girl gives up her virginity because she cares about the man she's with, that she feels something special towards him, and wants to give him something she's never given to anyone else. If you're not reciprocating that feeling then you're playing with her emotions and it's not surprising the other girl didn't want to see you again. Besides, why wouldn't you want a girl with a little more experience anyway? That's got to be more fun for everyone, surely.

[loverage21]

In my opinion if you're just looking to take a girl's virginity to create a bond then you're definitely going the wrong way about forming a lasting relationship.

 

A girl gives up her virginity because she cares about the man she's with, that she feels something special towards him, and wants to give him something she's never given to anyone else. If you're not reciprocating that feeling then you're playing with her emotions and it's not surprising the other girl didn't want to see you again. Besides, why wouldn't you want a girl with a little more experience anyway? That's got to be more fun for everyone, surely.

 

I wanted something more than just a hookup but she wanted something else. I still have feelings for her

[preraph]

If a woman gives up her virginity quickly to a man, then it didn't mean that much to them. I know in my case, I just wanted to lose mine to someone I trusted that my group knew but for whom I had no emotions other than that. I just didn't want to remain a virgin and it didn't mean anything to me. But if a woman has been "saving herself," then it does mean something to her, but that doesn't mean that at least half of the ones who do that don't feel they made the wrong choice and made a mistake or were misled when they let someone they thought was the right guy take their virginity. Clearly that was the case here.

 

It's nice you seem to care about a relationship and not just getting sex, but please don't start thinking that taking virgins is some guarantee that they will continue to like you or you'll be special. That's not the case. The whole thing has to be right, not just that you talked them into sex for the first time. If you are having mental issues, then of course, you need to concentrate on seeing a therapist, taking meds as prescribed and really work on yourself before you will be ready to have a relationship.

[loverage21]

If a woman gives up her virginity quickly to a man, then it didn't mean that much to them. I know in my case, I just wanted to lose mine to someone I trusted that my group knew but for whom I had no emotions other than that. I just didn't want to remain a virgin and it didn't mean anything to me. But if a woman has been "saving herself," then it does mean something to her, but that doesn't mean that at least half of the ones who do that don't feel they made the wrong choice and made a mistake or were misled when they let someone they thought was the right guy take their virginity. Clearly that was the case here.

 

It's nice you seem to care about a relationship and not just getting sex, but please don't start thinking that taking virgins is some guarantee that they will continue to like you or you'll be special. That's not the case. The whole thing has to be right, not just that you talked them into sex for the first time. If you are having mental issues, then of course, you need to concentrate on seeing a therapist, taking meds as prescribed and really work on yourself before you will be ready to have a relationship.

 

There is this girl that I like that has been serious with this other guy for two years in her high school years. They used to make out and fool around all the time. But she is a virgin waiting until marriage.

 

With a girl like that, there isnt anything much new that I can do besides sex. But if she's saving it until marriage that is not something I want to do.

 

Then what would you do besides sex to where I can stand out to a girl above the rest of the guys she has been with?

 

How can I make a girl like that fall more so in love with me than she ever felt towards her high school lover?

[VeveCakes]

It means nothing, I can't stand the man I lost mine to years ago!

[loverage21]

It means nothing, I can't stand the man I lost mine to years ago!

 

Is there anything I can do to get her to almost forget about the guy she was with for years while she was in high school?

[Redfisher]

Is there anything I can do to get her to almost forget about the guy she was with for years while she was in high school?

 

What is wrong with you dude? You trying to brainwash these girls...

[Michelle ma Belle]

What is wrong with you dude? You trying to brainwash these girls...

 

My thoughts exactly.

 

OP, what is this twisted OBSESSION you have?

 

After the countless threads you've started all of them pretty much asking the same bloody question, have you not learned anything?

 

You worry me.

[TheArtist]

Is there anything I can do to get her to almost forget about the guy she was with for years while she was in high school?

 

Yes, first you need a powerdrill and a blindfold. Why do you even want to erase someone's past?

[MidwestUSA]

There is this girl that I like that has been serious with this other guy for two years in her high school years. They used to make out and fool around all the time. But she is a virgin waiting until marriage.

 

With a girl like that, there isnt anything much new that I can do besides sex. But if she's saving it until marriage that is not something I want to do.

 

Then what would you do besides sex to where I can stand out to a girl above the rest of the guys she has been with?

 

How can I make a girl like that fall more so in love with me than she ever felt towards her high school lover?

 

 

I asked and you ignored. What do YOU have to offer besides a desire to take her virginity?

 

Taking and/or giving up the V-card does NOT equal love.

[loverage21]

I asked and you ignored. What do YOU have to offer besides a desire to take her virginity?

 

Taking and/or giving up the V-card does NOT equal love.

 

 

I just want her to fall as madly in love with me as I would with her. Any girl I would be dating would be my first serious relationship. So of course I am going to give my all to whoever I get serious with. In her case, she has already dated many guys, one of which she was with for over 2 years back when she was age 14-15. I mean that guy is always going to be sweet and valuable to her.

 

I want to be even more valuable than that to her. Or any girl in that matter that gets to say she is my first serious relationship.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

I want to be even more valuable than that to her. Or any girl in that matter that gets to say she is my first serious relationship.

 

It isn't a competition. I don't look back at my first boyfriend as "valuable". He is an ex for a reason. If you go in with this mentality of being the "first" for everything you are never going to be satisfied, and you will drive your girlfriend nuts.

 

Just try and relax a bit and go with the flow.