In Need Of A Female's Prospective

[oluwaseun]

After 5 years of no dating I was introduced to someone by her sister who I went to college with. When we made the relationship official, she was moving to the east coast (we live in the west coast) because she had made prior decision to move and I didn't want to stop her from pursuing her goals; so the relationship instantly became a long distance relationship.

 

4 months into the relationship, I went to go visit her for new years and at that time I was going through some tough times but it was difficult for me to express this to her. The visit was good, but she was disappointed overall because it wasn't as great as she wanted it to be. I know she has the right to fell that way because a woman always want to feel special.

 

Moving forward, another 4 months later, we were now having lots of arguments via phone because I wanted us to have a better balance to our relationship. Being long distance, phone and skype are the only ways to connect and we would sit on the phone for hrs each day and I wasn't getting any work (my fitness business) done. I would get frustrated because I wasn't spending enough time with work and she would get frustrated because I wasn't fulfilling some of her love languages.. which is very hard to do in a long distance relationship.

 

In the mist of one heated argument, I ended the relationship and stopped talking to her. She tried reaching out and I still didn't talk to her for about 2 weeks because I was angry that she didn't try to understand all I wanted was just a little balance in the relationship. My love for her didn't change, just wanted more balance. Slowing we started talking on the phone again but nothing serious for about 2 months. I wanted to keep a friendly relationship because I knew I loved her very much and if I could move to the east coast I would have, just to be with her.

 

She questioned if I really loved her and how was it so easy for me to end things the way I did. She said she felt so alone when I ignored her for those 2 weeks. I apologized and told her, I was expressing how I felt for months before but she wasn't listening to me to address the issue and I just got frustrated about the whole thing. She claimed she would have not broken up with me if it was her and I said, it's not fair to say that because she did't reach her boiling point.

 

I ended up writing her a letter wanting to get back with her and she agreed. I told her the time apart has help me understand what I truly want most in these world is her because I love the person she's made me become and I will never let her down again. I apologize and we both agreed to a fresh start.

 

Moving froward to now... about 2 months ago, it's been hard to get her on the phone and she goes out a lot with her friends. I told her she has become a different person and she agreed and said she wasn't happy about where her life is currently and that she needs to get back on track. We both agreed it's time for her to move back so we can really focus on our relationship. She decided to go visit her other sister for about 1 weeks and then she will be heading back to the west coast. While she was with her other sister, the lack of communication started again and I called her out on it and she began to say the reason is because she was reflecting on how it was so easy for me to break up with her in the past. How she was so hurt about me ignoring her for those 2 weeks. Mind you, she is coming home in about 3 days and I'm think where is this coming from?!

 

Again I apologized and was so confused about the timing of this. After all we've been through, and we both agreeing to a fresh start... where is this coming from? She said we will see what happens about our relationship when we are in the same surrounding. I most say, this was a huge dagger in my heart. The next days before she got are, our conversation was only via text...

 

Day 1:

HER - "I am so sorry for the conversation went the direction it did yesterday :/ How is your day going?"

ME - "It's was definitely disheartening to say the least. My day is OK and yours?"

HER - "I agree I'm sorry. My day is going well"

ME - "Glad to hear it's going well. And I'm sorry for making you feel the way you felt"

 

Day 2:

HER - "Hey"

ME - "Hey"

HER - "How are you?"

ME - "I'm well and you?"

 

Day 3: HER - "Good morning"

ME - "Good morning"

 

She gets into town later that day and doesn't call or text me to let me know. The only way I found out was from a post her sister posted on Facebook. The next day I texted her and asked if we were done and if our last phone conversation was her way of telling me we were done. She never texted me back or called.

 

I feel very hurt by this because the least we could do is talk in person since our relationship was 95% via phone. We are not in High School anymore, both of us are in our 30s. I understand she was hurt badly about what I did in the past but I at least I cut of the relationship before I stopped talking to her.

 

So my questions are... Does this mean we are over? Does this mean I should move on? Or should I still reach out to her again? Does she need her space? Is she trying to make me feel the same way she did? I truly love this girl and I just want to know where we stand.

 

Thanks in advance!

[Michelle ma Belle]

So you're hurt and confused about the way she's handling things yet the way YOU handled your breakup by abruptly ending your relationship during an argument and refused all communications for 2 weeks isn't high school behavior?

 

Hmm...

 

if you want my perspective I think you're both acting impulsively and immaturely. It might be best to give each other space.

[oluwaseun]

So you're hurt and confused about the way she's handling things yet the way YOU handled your breakup by abruptly ending your relationship during an argument and refused all communications for 2 weeks isn't high school behavior?

 

Hmm...

 

if you want my perspective I think you're both acting impulsively and immaturely. It might be best to give each other space.

 

 

I totally agree with you, but when I called it off, I at least talked with her before doing so. I appropriate your feedback.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I totally agree with you, but when I called it off, I at least talked with her before doing so. I appropriate your feedback.

 

You talked with her before breaking up? According to you, you ended things during a heated argument. That's not the same thing.

[oluwaseun]

You talked with her before breaking up? According to you, you ended things during a heated argument. That's not the same thing.

 

I'm in the wrong then. I can definitely admit that. I guess it's appropriate and fair for her to put me through the same thing.