foolishbill Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 I had been dating this girl for a year when she broke it off with me two years ago. She had her reasons (which she didn't explain to me at the time), and I was very hurt by the break up. She immediately instigated no contact so I had no idea why she ended it. I figured it was completely over between us and I struggled to get over her, but I eventually got back to my normal self. I still had feelings for her, but they were in the back of my mind and I started dating again. Four months ago she contacts me, explaining why she broke up with me (her own personal issues which I would rather not get into). She wanted to try things again. I had my doubts because I had tried to forget her and move on, but because I cared for her so much, I thought this relationship was worth sticking with. Three months into our relationship and I'm very worried that it's not going to work because I haven't developed the same feelings I had last time. Maybe subconsciously I'm working against myself because I had tried so hard to get over her before. I don't have any resentment towards her from the breakup, and I really enjoy spending time with her and have great fun, but the spark isn't there. Am I wasting my time pursuing this or is it possible to get those feelings back? We are 3 months into our second relationship and I've been thinking about ending it, because I don't want to drag her along when I'm not fully committed (yet). I also feel I may not have given this second attempt the time it deserves. Is 3 months even long enough to get over 2 years of trying to forget her? Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 (edited) I have had 2 second chance relationships and they both ended in less than a year. I'm now of the mindset that unless there were really special circumstances to the break up, I will no longer be going down that route again. Honestly, 3 months into your reconcilliation you should feel like you're still in that honeymoon stage again. Sometimes, the spark never comes back and that's ok. It's ok to say that you tried again and realized that the dynamic between you two is different. It's ok to be honest with her and move on if you're not feeling it. Although it's natural to be guarded after having your heart broken, it's a disservice to your relationship if you can't fully trust her again. Sometimes, that's the issue...you may never again feel fully secure and confident with the person who hurt you so badly in the past. You two aren't married..just dating. You're supposed to be figuring out whether the person you're with is the right one for you. If you don't feel the love and you don't see a future with them, be fair to yourself and to her, and move on. Edited December 11, 2015 by seekingpeaceinlove Link to post Share on other sites
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