Ex wants to meet up.

[marcusdevilliers]

This makes me feel better. Knowing that after i ran her down. Messaged her and begged her, did all the wrong things. All the things she said to, was just to end things with me. Now I'm at this point. I feel better knowing that I gave her what she wanted. It hurts that she left me, never wanted to work it out with me. Even though my life is in the gutter right now. I try to be happy I really do. Its hard but I try and hopefully things get better with me. She didn't want me in her life again, she didn't say those exact words but she no longer wanted our relationship. So after all the begging n stuff, i broke N.C twice, both were 2 weeks apart

I called n told her i missed her. Then 2 weeks after was her bday. Its been about a week and im stronger now. No more breaking N.C. I gave her what she wanted. I'm no longer part of her life. She's got new friends, new school. New life. She's moved on with her life without me. And I have finally accepted it. I wish it wasn't that way. But she wants that, so I have it to her. And it helps me a lot. Its like thats what you want, well fine, sont want me in your life, well kool. I cant force.myself there, and i wont. Time to be a man. End of it all started recently. And im happy to say that she will recieve nothing from me, nothing whatsoever.

[garybayliss]

I found some comfort in this thought too. let your last gift to her be your absence.

[marcusdevilliers]

I found some comfort in this thought too. let your last gift to her be your absence.

 

It really is comforting. At the end you know you tried, you worked and fought for your relationship. So now being absent in there life brings you a lot more comfort to u than them.

[marcusdevilliers]

First of all i would just like to thank all of you on this forum. believe it or not u guys were the only people i had with me through this struggle and i would like to deeply thank you for all the advice. i greatly appreciate it. i just came here because some things i left unsaid and i just wanna get it out, im doing good and coping well, its just these things i need to say.

 

 

The break up did hit me hard. was traumatising for me really. i begged and pleaded for like 2 months. then in september i went into N.C, i slipped up 2 times but that was it, last contact we ever shared was a convo for her bday, very short.

 

now the break ups all done, been over a month without any contact just that convo on her bday. im really doing well, life got me down with other things but i will manage.

 

She has never initiatd any contact with me since september. i can say im disappointed when im actually glad. makes things so much easier. my eyes have now truly openned with it all and you know what. she never deserved me.

 

She never asked to see me, never wanted to spend time with me and just broke it off. she could care less. and to think i thought we had sumn or were actually friends. i mean she never ever tried , never talked to me. just broke it off after 3 years. funny thing also, her mom new about us, and i mean your daughter has been talking to a guy for so long, wouldnt u show some interest, i never had a convo with the lady lol. never showed any interest in me. i never truly felt i was loved or appreciated since this year. i didnt make problems because of stuff she was going through and i put her first, even when she was spending no time with me, i was still there.

 

She left so easily tho, like throwing away a wrapper and not even looking back or nothing. Something that helps me so much tho, even might help you guys out is whenever i think of her, i say to myself i have her what she wanted, she didnt want me in her life and i just forget it right there. its so easy now i mean i have to remember to remember her sometimes. its great lol. shes got her new friends, her new school and all of that and moved on with her life wiithout me, after all the promises and all that. lol fake ****.

 

I hope it doesnt make me look bad and i dont care if it does, but i dont wanna have anything to do with her. i mean if she turns back up imma jump kick her ass lol. i dont hate her, but i have literally no love or caring for her. and its not because i never did love her and care for her, but its because i love me more and she should not have did that to me or throw me away like that. if i see her its just coordial, just a wave and thats it im gone. im chucking up my deuces .. thanks for reading, just had to say it . and for you guys going through break ups, it will get better. love yourself and literally, i mean literally. your ex is an *******, we dont have time for people who has no time for us. so smile

[marcusdevilliers]

I know I shouldn't do it. I wanna tell her how I miss her, how I miss seeing her. How I miss everything. But its something that's wrong and I shouldn't do it. Please talk to me everyone. I'm just really weak and depressed these days. Remind me why I shouldn't break no contact. Thank you.

[K2z]

Have a watch:

 

or this:

Edited November 2, 2015 by K2z

[Shock148]

I know I shouldn't do it. I wanna tell her how I miss her, how I miss seeing her. How I miss everything. But its something that's wrong and I shouldn't do it. Please talk to me everyone. I'm just really weak and depressed these days. Remind me why I shouldn't break no contact. Thank you.

 

Because she was the one who broke up with you and what you want her to respond with after you contact her saying all these things is something along the lines of "I miss you too, I made a mistake or lets try to work it out." Im going to tell you right now that it will not happen. If she felt this way, she would contact you first. What would most likely happen is her saying either she misses you too, but does not want to be with you, or she gets annoyed with your words. Either way it will not end well for you if you do contact her because you will not hear what you want to hear. This will make you go a step back into your recovery process and make you even more miserable, trust me.

[LostInNC]

Hello,

I wouldn't contact her and I would not think that you are weak..you are just hurt. And contacting her would temporarily ease the hurt because it would then give you false hope that she may respond. My BF of almost 8 years left me Thursday so I am in the same hurt boat but do not give in. Do anything but no not contact them. Good luck and we are all in this together.

[marcusdevilliers]

So ex basically contacted me. just messaged me saying her mind ran on me and hope everything was good. i just thought id tell you guys first .. what do i do. i know what but still its never bad to hear more.

[jorgepy]

Thats a good sign bro, you should reply but keep it neutral, reply with less amount of text than what she wrote. " thanks! Doing great, you?"

 

If she reached out to you the power shifted to you, its up to you to control it now.

[marcusdevilliers]

lol so funny how things play off. i got the message, saw it, my chest bounced once. and thats it. i literally feel nothing ..

[quattrob]

You're going to feel like **** if you reply because that message she sent you was not about her wanting to be back with you or anything like that if thats what you're thinking.

[jonesey0]

Dont reply.

Her mind run on you? How many times a day do you think about her? 24/7?

That text means nothing, its just her seeing if she still has you on a leash.

Ignore!

[marcusdevilliers]

I did reply. Only because I feel nothing you know

That's y I replied. I jus said I'm good. Asked if she's good n that's it

Deleted the convo.

[marcusdevilliers]

I wanna try my best to keep this short. idk if im mixed with emotions, i think im just mixed with thoughts when it comes to my ex/ we were together for bout 3 years. was ok but i think i let my love blind how i was treated. safe to say i dont think i was that in love, just really attached.

 

So we broke up a a few months now, its been like 2 months nc, i called her once told her i missed her, got brushed off, then i messaged her for her bday and i stopped all contact after that. she recently mesaged me asking me how i was, i kept it like to 3 messages said im good and hope she is and dats it. also a day after that she unblocked me on fb, i aint for that kid stuff, i just left it that way and that was it. I dont want to have a hate mentality, i accepted the break up, and thats it.

 

I just dont know how i think about her as a person you know. so much things i realised after the break up, openned my eyes so damn wide. couldnt believe i let myself be treated that way, and put so much into her and expectations for her to just dump me. things like-

 

She never asked to see me. i always had to ask and were always excuses with her.

 

Never showed much interest in me. i dont even think she knows much about me.

 

 

When i started school, and work. she never supported me or even said something nice. always something negative. not even a good luck or anything, just put me aside and i was always there for her. always supporting her.

 

i never met any of her friends or family, never even talked to them. guess i was too hung up to not see and end things early.

 

i remember when we were in the break up stage and i begged to see her, when i saw her never even got a hug or a touch. she just turned away and left me, said we would see each other another time and then. well she never made time for me.

 

she said she never loved me, she felt sorry for me and my problems. shes moved on from what we had and have no time to think about it.

 

alot of more hurtful stuff but truly doesnt bother me anymore, im just saying it all because i never really let it out.

 

I cant see us being anything again. and i dont want nothing with her, not even friends. i was gonna be the nice guy wish her well in her exams and stuff. but naww. screw all that now. time for that is over. gotta be strong, if she ever contacts me i'll keep it short and kill it.

 

Feels good letting this out. thanks for reading. your thoughts would be nice.

[ExpatInItaly]

I have no idea what kind of relationship lasts for 3 years without ever meeting any friends or family. Major warning bells there. How did she explain this?

[marcusdevilliers]

I have no idea what kind of relationship lasts for 3 years without ever meeting any friends or family. Major warning bells there. How did she explain this?

 

Neither do I . well the first two years we were together we were in school. Her parents were strict but her mom new.

 

Her mom new we use to talk everyday but she never showed much Interest in me or talking to me. Things were suppose to get more serious but she dumped me before anything unfolded. I let everything slide with he .

 

First time having a gf got me stupid.

Edited November 20, 2015 by marcusdevilliers

[marcusdevilliers]

Anybody up here??

[Silver_star]

Not sure what the benefit of being in a relationship with her was...She sounds unsupportive, cold, and generally uninterested. Maybe it was a relationship of boredom for her, or ego boosting for her?

 

 

Sorry. Don't know you, but something tells me you could do a lot better.

[ExpatInItaly]

Neither do I . well the first two years we were together we were in school. Her parents were strict but her mom new.

 

Her mom new we use to talk everyday but she never showed much Interest in me or talking to me. Things were suppose to get more serious but she dumped me before anything unfolded. I let everything slide with he .

 

First time having a gf got me stupid.

 

How do you know for sure that her mom knew about you? Don't say because your ex simply told you that.

 

She was keeping you away for a reason. Maybe she had another boyfriend. Maybe there are cultural/social/religious reasons. Whatever the case, it wasn't a very good relationship. I would never stay that long with someone who essentially hid me.

[marcusdevilliers]

How do you know for sure that her mom knew about you? Don't say because your ex simply told you that.

 

She was keeping you away for a reason. Maybe she had another boyfriend. Maybe there are cultural/social/religious reasons. Whatever the case, it wasn't a very good relationship. I would never stay that long with someone who essentially hid me.

 

 

Her mom new. i talked to her a time, just like one minute nothing really. Her mom let her come by me once also. so she new. the thing was the 1st 2 years was great. we were best friends, talked all the time literally all the time. i know there was nobody else because how we were. but after that and since the beginning of this year i no longer became a priority. she started to work and stuff so i guess she got to experience life more and decided she didnt want me no more.

[marcusdevilliers]

Could never understand how I put so much into her. And got back nothing just a broken heart.

[marcusdevilliers]

I think thats the end of this thread. thanks to the guys that read it.

[ExpatInItaly]

Her mom new. i talked to her a time, just like one minute nothing really. Her mom let her come by me once also. so she new. the thing was the 1st 2 years was great. we were best friends, talked all the time literally all the time. i know there was nobody else because how we were. but after that and since the beginning of this year i no longer became a priority. she started to work and stuff so i guess she got to experience life more and decided she didnt want me no more.

 

I'm confused. You first said you'd never spoken to any friends or family. But you say the opposite here?

 

Anyway, an old friend went through something similar years ago. She'd briefly met her boyfriend's parents a couple times at the beginning of their relationship, and perhaps one or two friends. And then never saw them again. He'd claimed they weren't getting along, were busy, and so on. For almost 3 years this went on.

 

The truth was that he'd had another girlfriend almost the entire relationship. He'd broken up with his ex when he started dating my friend, and that was when she met the family. Then he secretly reconciled with his ex (who had no idea my friend existed) and carried on a double life. His family thought my friend was just a fling; they had no idea he'd stayed with both women for a couple years and had seemingly normal relationships.

 

This may have not have been true in the case of your now-ex, but there are some similarities. Either way, it's better not to have a girlfriend like that. There will be someone else who is proud to bring you into her world.

[marcusdevilliers]

I'm confused. You first said you'd never spoken to any friends or family. But you say the opposite here?

 

Anyway, an old friend went through something similar years ago. She'd briefly met her boyfriend's parents a couple times at the beginning of their relationship, and perhaps one or two friends. And then never saw them again. He'd claimed they weren't getting along, were busy, and so on. For almost 3 years this went on.

 

The truth was that he'd had another girlfriend almost the entire relationship. He'd broken up with his ex when he started dating my friend, and that was when she met the family. Then he secretly reconciled with his ex (who had no idea my friend existed) and carried on a double life. His family thought my friend was just a fling; they had no idea he'd stayed with both women for a couple years and had seemingly normal relationships.

 

This may have not have been true in the case of your now-ex, but there are some similarities. Either way, it's better not to have a girlfriend like that. There will be someone else who is proud to bring you into her world.

 

Like talk in an actual convo. never, only one min and she didnt even say anything. the only other time was when we broke up and she saw her crying and called me. i dont give a **** no more. i just over thought the whole thing and it just bothers me i wasted my time. not anymore tho. im glad im outta that.