Does my boss like me?

[JohnnyCakes]

Lately, I feel my boss and I have seen a dramatic shift in our dynamic. Granted, her and I always were close (we share a lot of the same personality traits - goofy humor, interests) I am getting the feeling that she might be hinting she likes me more than a coworker slash friend. I understand the risks involved with the whole boss/subordinate friendship thing to begin with, when she needs to act like a boss, I respect what she says.

 

Anyway, here are a few examples:

 

 

• A former coworker was in town a few weeks ago, I was invited over to the boss's house (First time) for dinner. She said I could stay as long as i wanted and seem disappointed when I was leaving to go home
  
• Attended a family function of mine (First time) where she stayed longer than everybody, including immediate family!
  
• Constantly is sending me selfies of her in different poses - nothing sexual, just goofy pictures. I get at least one a day
  
• Confides in me about 'juicy' topics about clients.
  
• Increase in sexual innuendo jokes (She used to do it occasionally, but lately it seems almost everyday there is one now). Thanking me for letting her use my cell phone charger. "thanks for you know, really charging me up there." Corny, I know, but that is a just one example
  
• Texts me at random parts of a day off trying to shoot the breeze
  
• Makes a point saying how bad she needs a massage. Probably reading into that one a bit much, but according to body language experts aka google:eek:, she is saying something...
  
• I missed the holiday party yesterday, but she kept going on and on about the dress she was wearing and couldnt wait to show it off. This could be just 'girl talk' and since there were no girls for her to talk to, I was the next best thing hahaha
  
• Sent me a picture of her in said dress
  
• Mentions her perfumes and her attire almost begging me to say. yes you smell delicious and i think you are smoking hot in that outfit hahaha
  

 

 

Not sure how I feel about all of this. We are roughly the same age, her being a few years older, so I always thought we had a big sister/little brother thing going on. But, lately, as I said it's been...weird.

[Snakechammah]

What kind of workplace is this?

 

Is this a 'career' or a not-so-serious part-time job?

 

And how old exactly are the two of you? Are you both single?

 

It all depends on the context.... Sometimes, people meet and fall in love in the workplace and it works out. Other times, it's disaster.

 

So please tell us more about the situation....

[d0nnivain]

In a non-work setting I'd say yes she likes you. In a work setting where you are boss supervisor, it's a lot more complicated & frankly she's nuts to get involved with a subordinate. If things go south for your relationship & you're the wrong kind of guy, she could end up being sued.

 

 

That said, if this is a job vs a career, go ahead & see if there's more to this. If it's a career & you really want to push this, get another job lined up then do what you want.

[JohnnyCakes]

What kind of workplace is this?

 

Is this a 'career' or a not-so-serious part-time job?

 

And how old exactly are the two of you? Are you both single?

 

It all depends on the context.... Sometimes, people meet and fall in love in the workplace and it works out. Other times, it's disaster.

 

So please tell us more about the situation....

 

It's an IT kind of job and we're in our 30s. I wanted to mention this in my original post, but she is married:( which makes it all the more strange. Her husband is quite a few years (15) older than us. I'm thinking she just needs the companionship (Whether it be platonic or not) of a man closer to her age and i fill that void. I've spoken to other women about this and they all say she's suffering from a seven year itch. Just wanted the opinions of everyone else too.

Edited December 13, 2015 by JohnnyCakes

[Snakechammah]

Holy macaroni... NO.

 

No no no no no!! Don't go there!

 

There are MANY MANY single gorgeous available women your age out there looking for you. Just look at this forum.

 

Please don't go stirring a hornet's nest. Your boss AND she's married. Recipe for disaster.

[d0nnivain]

If she's married, at most assume she enjoys flirting with you but has no intention of taking it beyond that.

 

 

Stay away!

[preraph]

Yes, the "married" part changes everything. She is probably a bit lonely and feels since you are a subordinate you are safe to let go with a little. I certainly would not make any sexual comments to her or go down that path. I mean, people are flaky. Even if she wanted to sleep with you, which is unclear, if she did and then her marriage fell apart, yours would probably be the last face she'd want to see in the morning at work. Just sayin. Don't go there. And set some boundaries. Tell her you're busy and demonstrate that you have a social life and date people.

[JohnnyCakes]

Thanks for all of the feedback and advice. I am definitely treading lightly and have mentioned getting Christmas gifts for the women I am sociable with to give her a hint, but she still is acting awry...

 

Last night we all went out to dinner as a team.

 

For some reason unbeknownst to me (Tgis is the 3rd time she's done this in 2 weeks) she has texted me saying she made it home safe. Funny thing is that she wasn't drinking or traveling a long distance at any of these occurrences.

 

I just wrote her back with a simple ok or that i was still stuck in traffic...

[preraph]

It does sound like she needs someone to care about her well-being, with her calling to let you know she got home safely (unless you told her to). I imagine her life is a bit sad right now. But if she wants to change it, she needs to put on her big-girl pants and do it in the right order.

[JohnnyCakes]

It does sound like she needs someone to care about her well-being, with her calling to let you know she got home safely (unless you told her to). I imagine her life is a bit sad right now. But if she wants to change it, she needs to put on her big-girl pants and do it in the right order.

 

Agreed. I did not ask her to do so and I do care about her a ton, as a friend would. I just feel sometimes she's trying to take it to the next level or perhaps she doesn't even realize what she's doing. Today at work we all got dressed up in holiday-esque outfits, her wearing antlers, me wearing a santa hat with a beard. Now, I assumed, I would get those let me sit on your lap jokes, but thankfully I did not. However...

 

It is pretty well known in our building that her favorite color is pink. Everywhere around her office there is pink everything. Always wears pink. Of course as we're walking around the building, people would say, "oh my god, you're not wearing any pink! That's gotta be a first!!"

 

To that she would say candidly, "Well, I am wearing pink..."then gives me a little smile and wink

 

I just laughed it off by saying "AWK.WARD." I think she sincerely wants me to ask how's she's doing but is afraid to ask. I'll just continue to be a good friend, a good ear, and someone she can talk to, if she needs one.

[craw]

No. She doesn't like you. Have you ever mentioned if you've had a relationship with a girl? If the answer is no, she probably thinks you're gay.

[JohnnyCakes]

No. She doesn't like you. Have you ever mentioned if you've had a relationship with a girl? If the answer is no, she probably thinks you're gay.

 

Yep. I've asked her opinion on gifts of some girlfriends I've had over the years.