Took a risk. It paid off.

[purpledooze]

I was cleaning my apartment when I found an old gift that he gave me. I remembered all the good times we shared and how excited we were about seeing the world.

 

I sent him the most vulnerable letter I've ever written. This is after a month of no-contact. I was honest. I told him I missed him and then I apologized and took responsibility for my part in creating the rift between us. I also said in the letter that I although I never really agreed with the break-up, I grew to accept it and have tried to move on. I'd been so stressed with all that was going on in my life that I never stopped to consider how he felt about things. I apologized for ignoring him; it was too immature and rude of me to just ignore his messages.

 

I got a response from him. He apologized for his role in the breakup as well, and we ended up catching up.

 

Fast forward 2 days later, he asks me if he could take me out to lunch on my lunch break. I agreed. After lunch, he drove me back to my office. When I kissed his cheek and turned around to walk inside the bldg, he blurted out, "I want you back."

 

I told him I feel the same way, but that I'd like for us to take things slow. Clean slate. No baggage from the past. Just two new people getting to know each other again.

 

Now I just have to learn how to control my emotions so things don't get out of hand again.

[Blanco]

Without any context, this is a nice story to hear.

 

Unfortunately, I have context. As such, I find this an unfortunate update.

 

Best of luck "controlling [your] emotions," which, given your story with this guy, I'll take to mean walking on eggshells, so as to not upset him.

 

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I just cannot get past that this guy got you pregnant and then was clear-cut about his intention to have no involvement in the child's life.

[purpledooze]

Thanks Blanco.

 

While I don't condone how he handled things, there are just some people who aren't fit to become fathers. I, for one, would prefer someone who wants the role instead of someone who was forced into it.

 

I've learned to apologize and communicate my feelings in a non-needy way. It's hard work and takes a lot of self-awareness.

[Blanco]

I agree that those who don't want to be or cannot be good fathers should not be.

 

I assume this means you don't want children?

[BC1980]

Thanks Blanco.

 

While I don't condone how he handled things, there are just some people who aren't fit to become fathers. I, for one, would prefer someone who wants the role instead of someone who was forced into it.

 

I've learned to apologize and communicate my feelings in a non-needy way. It's hard work and takes a lot of self-awareness.

 

So because he doesn't want to be a father, he should abandon a child that he accidentally fathered? He sounds like a lovely person. I'm sure he will leave you once he tires of you in a few months.

[kidm]

He wants you back to what? An open relationship where he can drop you in an instant and decide to pursue one of the other women he is seeing?

 

For the last several months, nothing you've posted about this guy hints like he genuinely interested in you but maybe after chasing him down and declaring your undying loyalty and love for him, he's now had a epiphany that you're the one for him.

[Simon Phoenix]

Oh dear lord.

[Itspointless]

I've learned to apologize and communicate my feelings in a non-needy way. It's hard work and takes a lot of self-awareness.

Sorry purpledooze I haven't followed your story in detail, but I remember your avatar What I quoted sounds like good advice taken the wrong way. It sounds like your bending over to just take it the way he wants it. What about your needs? Self-awareness is also seeing that he is self-absorbed and does not really fit your needs. He is that drug that your bran thinks it wants, but heroin is not such great news. It is great when high, but when absent which it usually is, well ...

[purpledooze]

He wants you back to what? An open relationship where he can drop you in an instant and decide to pursue one of the other women he is seeing?

 

For the last several months, nothing you've posted about this guy hints like he genuinely interested in you but maybe after chasing him down and declaring your undying loyalty and love for him, he's now had a epiphany that you're the one for him.

 

I never really chased him down. He was the one who tried to initiate contacts etc even if it was about work. I'd ignore it.

[purpledooze]

Sorry purpledooze I haven't followed your story in detail, but I remember your avatar What I quoted sounds like good advice taken the wrong way. It sounds like your bending over to just take it the way he wants it. What about your needs? Self-awareness is also seeing that he is self-absorbed and does not really fit your needs. He is that drug that your bran thinks it wants, but heroin is not such great news. It is great when high, but when absent which it usually is, well ...

 

When we were together, he would often communicate his observations directly. When I was being needy, he would say it like it is.

[purpledooze]

I agree that those who don't want to be or cannot be good fathers should not be.

 

I assume this means you don't want children?

 

I never wanted children. At least not yet.