WWEDAVE Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 First off my brother is a jerk he's 20 and all he does is sit home all day smoking,ps2 or online.I'm 16 and my parents are on my back to get a job yet no one asks him to.I know people will say worry about your own life trust me i do but for someone who is depressed this just adds to it cause he has a way easier life then me .To make it worse i don't even consider him a brother i can't remember the last time we even had a coversation that lasted 2 minutes.Anyway i don't consider him a brother and if he needs my help one day i will ignore him let his mommy and daddy keep spoiling his ass Link to post Share on other sites
Chris777 Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 Originally posted by WWEDAVE First off my brother is a jerk he's 20 and all he does is sit home all day smoking,ps2 or online.I'm 16 and my parents are on my back to get a job yet no one asks him to. How sure are you of them not being on his case? and you might want to elaborate a bit more on the situation, as its not real clear whats going on other than the appearance of jealousy. I know people will say worry about your own life trust me i do but for someone who is depressed this just adds to it cause he has a way easier life then me .To make it worse i don't even consider him a brother i can't remember the last time we even had a coversation that lasted 2 minutes.Anyway i don't consider him a brother and if he needs my help one day i will ignore him let his mommy and daddy keep spoiling his ass Parents don't always treat you fair. no matter what the sutuation. what are you depressed about? Link to post Share on other sites
TheSouthernChick Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 It's pretty natural to resent someone when you think they are getting away with murder while you are expected to meet certain standards. These thoughts below might be helpful to you. Parents have different expectations of children, especially when they are of different ages. I'm not condoning your parents' actions or your brother's -- just stating a fact of life. Have you talked to your brother or your parents about this? Silent resentment doesn't do anyone good. You'll either get some information that helps you understand and empathize better, or you'll be rebuffed. Either way, you'll know more than you do now. I would approach it with your brother by saying, "I worry about you. The pot isn't good for you, and I don't like it being in our home. And I don't understand why you're holed up with ps2 and other mindless entertainments. What's going on with you? Are you depressed? Are you discouraged? What can I do to help? What are you doing for yourself? Where are you heading with this?" Anything to get him to open up; maybe you'll understand him better. Or if you talk with your parents, tell them that you're worried about your brother and don't understand what he's doing or where his life is headed. As a separate topic, also mention that you feel resentful because you're being "good" and he's being "bad," but you're treated equally (watch your wording to neutralize it and make it less whiny than that, though). Before you do this, though, ask yourself what you hope will come out of it -- do you want your parents to kick his ass out or set higher expectations of him? They may not welcome your advice, although they should listen to your feedback as a reality check for themselves. Or do you want them to simply give you more credit and praise for how you're living up to your role in the family? Specify what you want them to do or say. It may be that your brother is depressed or getting over a rough period in his life by temporarily retreating and reverting to childish behaviors at home. Or maybe he's just a lazy ass and your parents are too apathetic to do anything about it. Either way, it's not your responsibility. What you have to do is nurture yourself and value yourself for living up to a higher standard of self-respect than your brother is doing. It's fine to disapprove of someone else's life choices; just don't let what they do affect your worldview, and don't feel compelled to "fix" them. Like Ferris Beuller's sister, you can decide that your world doesn't hinge on what other people do or what they "get away with"; you're responsible for your own attitude. Hope this helps -- best wishes. - TheSouthernChick Link to post Share on other sites
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