R/ship Breakup cont - Tony - reply also for you - my previous post

[Jane]

After feeling devastated for 3 months of not being talked to apart from "house business". I have now become angry.

 

I had been in a live in r/ship with a computer freak for 4 years - my whole personality and well being disintegrated as I used all my energy for him, even trying to get an answer exhausted me.

 

I went completely downhill and he went UP. I am responsible for feeding his ego - he now has over inflation of ego, and wrongly so, but that is his problem now.

 

You see 14 days after buying a house together - joint ownership - he decided 2-3 weeks later he wanted to finish the relationship and for me to move out.

 

His belief that this was the right thing almost convinced me. I took it seriously and was devastated

 

Now it has been 3 months of being ignored by him whilst I was experiencing the worst time EVER in my life time. The stuff I have had happened still shocks me - and so did his ignoring me the whole time.

 

Eg:- Sickness in my family, death in my family, micro -surgery on my face leaving an attractive (not) line of sutures, you name it - - - it happened to me.

 

His assault began just as I was ready to 'get a life' again.

 

I have now noted there was always a drama - argument - whatever every time I tried to 'get it together'. I think sabotage may be an appropriate term here.

 

Whilst being ignored he would however talk 'only' of the house settlement and nothing else.

 

Initially I was too shocked to act but then over time I got part of my usual self back - assertive - and I have refused all talks of "the house only" and I told him to go to the courts. He did see a lawyer and I have been unresponsive - legally I am half owner fullstop.

 

I am so angry that I now I am ready for a challenge. I hope it goes to court - he would prefer not to - am going to claim everything too.

 

How dare he do that to me.

 

Did I mention he broke the relationship off through my mum and I had to feed him "energy" to get the information too. My mum was thrown this information and had to carry it around for the few days it took me to coax it out of her - imagine using family like this - ever heard of professional help I felt like saying.

 

His mother also harassed me constantly by email. She told how I should be the one to go and how he needs his home and all this other crap which I ended up not even reading. Narcissism? What? Yet she said at the same time how much she loves me and how special I am (vomit).

 

It took a while but it seems that the whole incident has strengthened me. He, however has degenerated in a big way. I stupidly even offered my help on the few initial occasions - with a black swollen eye and a face full of sutures. All he can see is "himself". He also ignored me on my birthday, his mother sent me a present which I do not want.

 

What do people think?

 

It is a long story, I do hope the gist of it has been mainly understood.

[Tony T]

You make a compelling argument for never having anything to do with him ever again in this lifetime once you have resolved the matter of this house.

 

I do hope you are able to come to an equitable agreement concerning the sale of the house. I'm sure you agree he's entitled to half the house plus the amount of any percentages of payments he may have made on your behalf. I think I went into this in some detail in a previous post.

 

I'm glad you're getting stronger. Hold on to your position and don't retreat. Get what is legally yours and then forget this thing every happened.

 

I really hope you are able to find someone in the future who is somewhat less selfish and far more reasonable than this guy.

[Jane]

Thank you Tony

 

You are so helpful - how do you get the time to do all your posts? You are a good man - hope good stuff comes your way.

 

BTW - I have a feeling it is not over. Don't ask why - gut feeling that won't go away. Plus dreams I have had reinforces the feeling. I could be wrong?

 

I can't be bothered thinking about it mostly.

 

I am just cruising day to day - and see what pops up next.

You make a compelling argument for never having anything to do with him ever again in this lifetime once you have resolved the matter of this house. I do hope you are able to come to an equitable agreement concerning the sale of the house. I'm sure you agree he's entitled to half the house plus the amount of any percentages of payments he may have made on your behalf. I think I went into this in some detail in a previous post. I'm glad you're getting stronger. Hold on to your position and don't retreat. Get what is legally yours and then forget this thing every happened. I really hope you are able to find someone in the future who is somewhat less selfish and far more reasonable than this guy.