Author fred123 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 Turn it around. If you had a female friend who told you this story, that her boyfriend didn't make efforts to see her and took 1-2 days to reply to her text but he would have sex with her under HIS term. What would you tell her? If what this woman is offering you is not enough then you need to find a girlfriend that will. This is dating. It's about finding someone compatible. Not about cligning to an unsatisfying 2 month relationship that he only uses her for sex. why she get jealous if i have a pic of me another girl on fb or she gets upset when i tell her that I'm not her bf so stop treating me like one. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 She flakes and changes plans all the time when i try set them. I ask her 99 percent of the time to meet and they never materialise. Its the same girl from the previosu thread. We been dating 2 and half months. I asked her 2 weeks ago to give a day she is free this coming week and we can do something. And she never did. I want to see her this week but iv askes her twice if these days are ok. All she said just now was she is free to go gym tomorrow morn?! She flakes and changes plans all the time I ask her 99 percent of the time to meet and they never materialise. -- You are not dating her. You're just hanging out when it's convenient for her, i.e. gym dates. Either clarify what you are looking for with her or move on. I'd move on. Her interest level is low at best or she is clueless about what your intentions are and/or clueless about how to date. Link to post Share on other sites
TheArtist Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 It sounds to me like she just wants a gym buddy. You're also giving her something her girlfriends should be there for by letting her vent her problems while you sit and listen. I don't actually think she knows you're dating each other. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 It sounds to me like she just wants a gym buddy. You're also giving her something her girlfriends should be there for by letting her vent her problems while you sit and listen. I don't actually think she knows you're dating each other. It's not just girls who like to talk and vent about problems. I agree this girl doesn't seem very interested or she would want to meet. I find it puzzling that guys seem to think a girl is using him if she shares herself and her problems. It's like saying 'I'll only be your friend if you'll be my girlfriend.' That's not being a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted December 24, 2015 Author Share Posted December 24, 2015 so the girl i have been talking about. we met up in a hotel and had our own time together. the next day we also met up for lunch. i made a joke saying two days was enough this week to see her. i went home and texted her saying i enjoyed today with her. she then replied saying i thought 2 days was more than enough you said. i then suggested we do dinner next week and the drinks and then stay the night together again. i gave her a date. thinking she would be excited cos she told me also that she enjoyed it too she texted me back " let me think about it today" i feel blown off. do interested girls say that? Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Are you sure she understood your comment about 2 days being enough as a joke? Sounds like she may have been insulted or hurt by this. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Yeah, seems like you short yourself in the foot with that 2 days being enough line. Not quite sure how that's a joke. It's not even funny. And seems she took it to not be funny, either. i feel blown off. do interested girls say that? No, girls that are offended at something you said and don't really want to see you again, say this. I'd recommend a genuine apology and heartfelt expression of interest in seeing her again. Offer to take her somewhere nice to make up for your insensitive "joke". Link to post Share on other sites
czen Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 It could be the joke that pissed her off. I would just wait and see honestly. Like I make jokes like that all the time, but I make it obvious it's a joke. And if people do not think it is funny, then I know we are not a good match. Not sure, how often you make such sarcastic jokes, but it is something to consider before you even think about texting her profound apologies. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted December 25, 2015 Author Share Posted December 25, 2015 So this is the same girl as before in all my threads. So 3 months we been dating and sleeping. We met up 15 times roughly. We text all the time and speak on the fone. We spoke on xmas day too! Problem is i dont think shes into me. Ydy i went out for xmas eve and she said she didnt care if i get with other girls as im entitled too. I said i dont want to as i already have a great girl. She said she doesnt want to be anyones girl and that we are only dating and hanging out so i csnt call her my girl. But she does a get a bit pissed off she admittes if i did get off with someone but says im.entitled too. But she spoke for an hour on xmas day too me ( i called her). does this girl sound into me or what? Im confused how girls act. 3 months is too soon for her to like me and want a rship? Link to post Share on other sites
GR4 Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Sounds like she's trying to justify the fact that she's more than likely getting with other guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted December 26, 2015 Author Share Posted December 26, 2015 Sounds like she's trying to justify the fact that she's more than likely getting with other guys. But why she texting me and speaking to me on the phone on xmas day? Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Because you're available. Link to post Share on other sites
sin miedo Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 3 months of dating and you're not exclusive? Idk what to say other than she is probably either a commitment-phobe or is banging other dudes. Have you brought up the exclusivity talk? It could be that she's waiting for you to take the initiative in the relationship. It also sounds like you two are young and immature if you haven't gotten to this point already. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 But why she texting me and speaking to me on the phone on xmas day? She's probably multi dating, and you're the guy who wasn't busy on Christmas day. (And you're the one who called) You actually had the exclusivity talk, she doesn't want you to call her "your girl." That pretty much says it all after three months. That comment about not caring if you get with other girls, makes me think that she might be feeling a little bit guilty about seeing other guys since you're only focussing on her. Link to post Share on other sites
jackny123 Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 This girl doesn't want to be with you. Man, I am 28 years old and been through it all. Heartbreaks, breaking other's hearts, doing the impossible for a girl, busting my hump for a girl that won't commit, etc. Find another girl. Don't over-analyze what she does. Please move on! Women are not like us. They don't think "OK if I call him on Christmas, he will know he's important to me." They often operate from a shoot-from-the-hip, whatever works emotionally in that moment kind of style (no offense, ladies!). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheBathWater Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Three months is plenty of time to decide if you want to see someone exclusively. Those who continue to see each other after having been together as many times as you report, and still see other people, are the classic "I don't want to close out my options" types. This sucks when it happens. The best advice I have to give you is to get better at spotting these types earlier and don't bother with them. Look for a girl who is already looking for a committed relationship, and you will never run into this problem. Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Women are not like us. They don't think "OK if I call him on Christmas, he will know he's important to me." FWIW, she didn't call him. He called her. As others have pointed out, she's not invested. Quite the opposite, she's made it abundantly clear she doesn't want to be considered his girlfriend and is encouraging him to go out with other women and explore his options...when they've been dating for three months! At some point, Fred will have to accept that, while she's okay dating him casually, she doesn't want to be his girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 3 months in and this is toughly 1 date a week. Unless there were other circumstances in this like both of you travel for work thus skipping weeks. In a relationship at thus point you should be seeing each other more frequently and the idea of a relationship should be established by now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted December 26, 2015 Author Share Posted December 26, 2015 Also she has never once initiates or asked me out. Ever. Its always me Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 OP, this girl you're dating is a bad seed. It's not in your best interest to continue seeing her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted January 4, 2016 Author Share Posted January 4, 2016 Into the new year! This is from my previous thread. Been over 3 months of dating, sex and phone xalls and messages. We only see each other once a week cos basically shes not into me lol. She doesnt want a relationship. Wants to focus on her career. I like her and want exclusivity but she has made it clear she doesnt want a commitment. Which is fine! But im confused. Why does she keep texting me good morning and non stop doing the day? And when i dont reply she says "ur not talking to me now?" Or " are u off with me or u are being mean to me". Shes not my girlfriend so why she acting like one? Why does she want to text me every day when she says she dont want a rhsip. If its just fun i dont mind. Then she should text me only when to meet. She has never once in the last 3 montha of dating asked me out or said hey i wanna see you qhen are you free. im frustrated, pissed off and tired. Im done asking her out. I even bought her an xmas present. She even told me the other day " if i was your boyfriend id want to see you more and make more of an effort and you wouldnt have to fight with my diary to see me" that hurt a lot. She is so diffixult to organise to meet up yet she is happy to text and speak on the phone all the time. We live 5 mins away! I wanna see her more. Im neever asking her out again. I did it already 15 times. And every time has been difficult. Help.me. what do i do? How can i fade away or get her to leave me alone for good? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted January 4, 2016 Author Share Posted January 4, 2016 Bump:) would like to know peoples thoughts onwhat to do next. Never been in this situation Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 Oh come on, this is an easy one. Quit being a wimp! The boundaries of the relationship are set by you. Whatever she wants, can only happen with your agreement. Why does she expect you to text everyday? Because you let her! If you didn't reply to her at a moments notice for the previous weeks (or months, or years) then she wouldn't expect you to do it now. YOU set the standard already. That's why she expects it. You are right. Stop asking her out. And stop replying to her texts while you're at it. Obviously, you need more stuff to do if you have so much free time to give her that much attention. How about you start putting that effort into something that will give you satisfaction in return: the gym, play sports, get a hobby, or get a new girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted January 10, 2016 Author Share Posted January 10, 2016 Dating girl for 3 months. Ask her a couple of days ago if she free next thurs eve for dinner. She says no. i then ask to keep next sat eve free for dinner. She says she will check dates and diary and let me know. She hasnt mentioned anything the last 2 days about dinner next sat. Why not? I feel like im the only one trying here. I cant ask her again? Balls in her court Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 You've been dating for 3 month?? So what kind of dating has it been? How many time you see each other? Was it always hard to book a date with her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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