xcupid Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 If you leave the ball in her court you might not hear from her. It's up to you to followup - even if you don't like doing that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted January 10, 2016 Author Share Posted January 10, 2016 Yes its the girl in my previous thread. Its so hard getting a date sorted. I dont know why. We see each other once a week if that. When it comes to gym she will be easy to have a date planned cos she wants a gym buddy lol. Also she was mad the other day when i joked that i had sex with this girl mate of mine. But why is she mad if she doesnt want anything serious or makes an effort to see me. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 Yes its the girl in my previous thread. Its so hard getting a date sorted. I dont know why. We see each other once a week if that. When it comes to gym she will be easy to have a date planned cos she wants a gym buddy lol. Also she was mad the other day when i joked that i had sex with this girl mate of mine. But why is she mad if she doesnt want anything serious or makes an effort to see me. Please forget about this girl. Going to the gym with this girl is not having a date. I read your last thread. She is not interested in you, she's using you as a filler when it's convenient. At 3 months dating she told you you could pursue and sleep with other women. C'mon! Stop being a doormat and drop her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted January 10, 2016 Author Share Posted January 10, 2016 Please forget about this girl. Going to the gym with this girl is not having a date. I read your last thread. She is not interested in you, she's using you as a filler when it's convenient. At 3 months dating she told you you could pursue and sleep with other women. C'mon! Stop being a doormat and drop her. thanx for your response. my question is this: i went out on fri night and sent her a drunk message saying i slept with my friend. She was really pissed off. why would she be pissed off if she dont want me and I'm just a time filler? and why she always seems ti have time to message me and send good morning texts Link to post Share on other sites
Robratory Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 You're trying to find somewhere to hang your hopes from, but this is not how people show affection. Ask yourself, would you treat her the way she treats you? Why did she get mad? Why does she text you? We don't know. What we know is that she runs hot and cold. You don't need that! Let Katy Perry tell you. Link to post Share on other sites
TheArtist Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 thanx for your response. my question is this: i went out on fri night and sent her a drunk message saying i slept with my friend. She was really pissed off. why would she be pissed off if she dont want me and I'm just a time filler? and why she always seems ti have time to message me and send good morning texts Because she probably knows you're trying to wind her up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted January 10, 2016 Author Share Posted January 10, 2016 it shouldn't bother her if I'm with other girls right? she said to me she dont want to be exclusive and to see other girls Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 it shouldn't bother her if I'm with other girls right? she said to me she dont want to be exclusive and to see other girls That's all fine and dandy, but dude what a classless act to tell her you slept with someone. I would be upset if some guy I'm not even dating randomly sent me a text like that. You are sick. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 thanx for your response. my question is this: i went out on fri night and sent her a drunk message saying i slept with my friend. She was really pissed off. why would she be pissed off if she dont want me and I'm just a time filler? and why she always seems ti have time to message me and send good morning texts If she wanted you she would HAVE you! You are at her feet!! she just needs to grab you but she doesn't because she does NOT want you. She wants attention from you and if she didn't get attention from you she'd get it from someone else. A woman that would want you would never in a million year tell you you can date others after 3 months. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted January 10, 2016 Author Share Posted January 10, 2016 If she wanted you she would HAVE you! You are at her feet!! she just needs to grab you but she doesn't because she does NOT want you. She wants attention from you and if she didn't get attention from you she'd get it from someone else. A woman that would want you would never in a million year tell you you can date others after 3 months. Hmm interesting. She did say she would be pissed if i got with others but i can do what i want cos we arent exclusive. She did get pisses off when i said i slept with a gurl on sat as a joke. But why she get pissed with me if she dont wqnt a rship or even be exclusive. She has feelings for me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted March 7, 2016 Author Share Posted March 7, 2016 What makes a girl turn? Iv had this experience before. Im not sure whether its cos the guy doesnt get the hint that the girl isnt interested. Have anyone else had this experience? Thoughts? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 Million dollar question there my friend, wish I knew the answer myself. The amount of times I've seen changes like this (and it can happen with both sexes) and you're left wondering WTF just happened. You can over think it, look back over all previous contact, but no matter what you do, you may never get to the answer. The truth is, people just change sometimes. And that doesn't mean they change to something they're not, but often they change when they meet someone and then change back into their normal selves later on. The fact is, none of us are mind readers - if someone expects another to know what is going on in their heads or to react a certain way or to expect something from someone without communicating, then it is their problem and the person on the receiving end cannot be held responsible. You just have to do what you believe is right and react how you want to react. Everybody's different, end of. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 Hormones. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Saracena Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 Or they might be annoyed with you for some reason! You could ask them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 Hormones. Or a man blaming it on hormones... Oh no sorry that leads to arms and legs amputated by a spoon. When women get cold and bitchy its normally because you have done something. If you have no clue best thing to do is quietly and calmly ask. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted March 7, 2016 Author Share Posted March 7, 2016 That doesnt actually work when u ask them. when i once tried to clarify what was going on with us (me and a girl) and why she wasnt replying as much and getting distant (eg ur replies were colder) , she just got mad and told me "shes busy and what do i want?!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 If you ask and they shut you out, you've at least tried. As I said, you can't be a mind reader and nor she should she expect you to be. I'd much rather be told that I've been an c**t then actually be treated like one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 That doesnt actually work when u ask them. when i once tried to clarify what was going on with us (me and a girl) and why she wasnt replying as much and getting distant (eg ur replies were colder) , she just got mad and told me "shes busy and what do i want?!" Fred - you are not reading the signs. Time to just cut contact when they start getting cold so you can learn how to read them better and quit fretting. No need for reasoning or saying anything just stop contacting them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 Hot + Cold = Lukewarm Not much into you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 (edited) That doesnt actually work when u ask them. when i once tried to clarify what was going on with us (me and a girl) and why she wasnt replying as much and getting distant (eg ur replies were colder) , she just got mad and told me "shes busy and what do i want?!" That makes sense. I mean, most likely, the reason why she's cold and bytchy, is cuz the guy acts clingy and insecure (maybe without realizing it).....and she gets annoyed, turned off. So the guy asks why said girl isn't replying as much (whining)...it annoys her even more, as it was that same clingy and insecure behavior that turned her off in the first place!! Guys, toughen up. If a woman stops replying, you stop texting! You pull back....and I would give the same advice to women (when men stop texting, responding). Talking about the early stages. Obviously, if you are in an established LTR, the rules are different ...and you communicate with each other. But for early stages, just pull back and be prepared to walk away. No whining about why she's not responding, acting distant, etc. Again, it is that same type of clingy behavior that probably turned her off in the first place.... Edited March 7, 2016 by katiegrl 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 She's no longer really interested. Sorry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spriggan2 Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 (edited) I get the no longer interested when cold. But what about the return to hot? Soon as my GF went cold on me I knew the relationship was doomed. Hadn't done anything wrong but I feel like she saw the real me and she wasn't that impressed. In fact she said those exact words right to me. Harsh, but fair enough. Im not a clingy texter at all. So I let her be. Very next day however she said everything was fine. Things carried on...until she randomly went cold again and I was like fck it let's break up. Despite the fact that I'm in love with you you're clearly not happy in the relationship and you're being a total dick to me. Her response? No omg you're amazing sorry for being a dick to you if you change your mind let me know. I'm like wtf. She messages me in subsequent days saying she misses me and worries about me. Very sweet. I get back together with her. Couple weeks later she's like ice again, I feel like I'm a nuisance to her every time we talk. She starts treating me like crap and I fall into a pathetic passive aggressive mode. We have some good times mixed in but she's not happy again, we get in the slightest fight over something and she calls me and dumps me. In my head I'm like wow what a pointless 2nd round. I got dumped so I feel terrible. I move on though. I join tinder, start seeing other people. Get on with my life thinking we're truly over. She calls up. Talks to me for two hours saying she's going to therapy (grad school stress), she doesn't know why she broke up with me. If I move to her city she'll move in with me. All sorts of crap. I say no its over. Maybe in a few years we can try again (fat chance). She said it feels like a huge loss. I don't talk to her again. Last night she texted me about a paid writing gig I might want, presumably because she knew something serious like that is the only thing I'd respond to from her. My point is - hot cold hot cold hot cold. Chicks pull this crap and it screws with my head. My conclusion is she only wants me when I'm closed off to her. Also when she's ovulating. Sorry for hijacking thread. Edited March 7, 2016 by spriggan2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted April 19, 2016 Author Share Posted April 19, 2016 so i put on a thread months ago. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/561402-understanding-girl it was about a girl i was dating since october. she said from the beginning she didnt want a commitment. we ended up sleeping with each other after 2 months. we went on several dates etc. She used to text me all the time!! I'm not a texter, i prefer speaking on the phone and seeing each other. She was difficult to meet up with and she would never confirm plans. well into the new year she apparently started really liking me. I didnt know this. she started to make more of an effort and it was easy to meet up with her. i even asked another girl for valentines dinner and she got mad i did that. Well we ended up together on valentines and was amazing time we had. We ended up being in a relationship since february. All was going well. she said she had fallen for me and loved me. we planned to go away one easter and was going to meet her parents in easter as well. She always used to say to me that the next relationship she wanted was a only term one she wanted and she said she saw a future with us. She always used to send me rings and dresses (wedding) cos we always used to joke and talk about where we would like to get married etc etc. So we both had the same views on dating/rships. about 3 weeks ago her ex ( they were together for a year and broke up a year ago, he dumped her citing that she wasn't the one he saw a future with) texted her saying hey etc etc and that he had met someone else. I didnt know this but i sensed that week she was being weird and grumpy. Finally she told me why she was acting like that and that she broke down and cried when her ex told her this. She said she thought a part of her would always get back together with him. I said we should be friends and break up seeing as she has unresolved issues for him and that i understood where she was coming from. I was really hurt and i felt like crap. She says she is now happy being by her self and focusing on her work etc . I did suggest friends with benefits as she likes having casual reships (just sex) but she said no to me. I dont know why. I feel hurt and led on a bit thinking it was going somewhere and that she didnt even fight for us to try and work things out. Was i right in breaking up with her . Btw I'm 28 and she will be 27 this year Link to post Share on other sites
LoveRefreshed Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 Breaking up with someone isn't about being right, it's about finding a path that you think is best for your's and your soon to ex's happiness. She was with you and 'joked and saw a future with you' but keeping down inside that she wanted and hoped for a future with another man. If I were you, I'd be less understanding and want nothing to do with her nor wish her any well being. She'd be on her own way fast. Good dodge pal, good dodge. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 I'm sorry you had to break up, but I think you did the right thing for YOU. She's not over her ex, and that's not going to change anytime soon. Chin up, keep moving forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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