How does a girl score ...

[abroham]

Firstly it depends on the type of guy you want.

 

But I'll give you my perspective, if you want a good man who is worth something you need to show that you are worth something too.

 

 

have something about yourself, be enthusiastic about something.

 

-You must respect yourself

-know how to be a woman and let your man be a man

-Come across friendly but VERY PICKY! (This makes the man feel special that you chose to be with him. Men are naturally possessive to a certain extent so by you being exclusive and a hard diamond to find will up your value in any mans eyes)

- the number 1 thing that all men want in a girl is LOYALTY. REMEMBER THAT!

-Conduct yourself in a manner that your man would be happy with at all times with or without him being there. Even if you haven't met him yet

- Take care of yourself physically

- Never chase a man( you could come across needy and that's a big turn off

- Make him feel comfortable being around you. Connect with the things he likes (& be okay just doing nothing sometimes)

-be a trust worthy person

- keep good energy about you. No 1 wants a girl who feels sorry for herself and craves attention. Always keep things going on in your life. But do not keep male friends

 

Don't be easy! (Value your pussy and don't give oral sex too soon).Anything with value is hard to get ( Lobsters, diamonds, Gold. You see my point)

 

If you give up the goods too soon a man will wonder how many other men you've been that way with.

 

And lastly make sure you keep your pussy fresh

 

EVERYTHING I JUST SAID IS SO REAL!

Edited December 15, 2015 by abroham

[deep_night]

what a nice thread.

 

i'd like to ask the men to explain what do they mean that they like someone who "needs" them. with real life examples if possible

[Els]

DWeRP? That's a new abbreviation...

 

I just wrote a whole list on what attracted me to him, and then I realized your question was "Girlfriends of DWeRPs: What things do the girls think helped "close the deal" for a certain dude with relationship potential?". So what you're really asking is what we think made them attracted to us?

[oldshirt]

Hey Oldshirt

 

I didn't actually post this thread for myself...but for Hopeful30 and others who lament that there aren't available men with relationship potential out there.

 

So I wondered what men who have relationship potential saw in the girls with whom they decided to have a relationship.

 

Though I'm a year post divorce, I have dated quite a bit. In my demographic, there are a lot of guys ... many who have issues (isms) and but there are some good ones out there...I don't have any issue "catching their eye" so to speak. Do you want me to specifically answer your questions or did you post them for others to think about?

 

I think what you have written/questions asked is very valuable for women to think about:)

 

Rhetorical questions to make a few points. Not really asking you answer publicly

 

 

I haven't read Hopeful' s thread in its entirety, but any time I hear a woman say there are no good men left the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

 

I really think when people (men and women) say that, it is more of an indictment of themselves rather than an actual assessment of the pool of available suitors.

 

What they are really saying is that they are unable to attract the quality of partner they want. Their expectations of what they want is not in alignment what they have to offer.

 

If a woman wants a man with six pack abs and rippling biceps, she's not going to get one if she blobular couch pilot. If she wants a corporate executive, she's not going to get one if her life ambition is a better score on Farmville. If she wants an intellectual, she's not going to get one if her greatest intellectual achievement is guessing what the Kardashians are going to wear to their next party.

 

Hypergamy is very strong in women so it's understandable that every woman is going to want a prince, but the reality is for every desirable trait that a woman wants her man to have, she must have commensurate traits of her own that will attract him to her.

[oldshirt]

The other point I was trying to make is that DWRP don't come out of one factory and all the rest come out of another. Men all come out of the same factory with the same materials and same assembly processes.

 

As others have alluded to, men with desirable traits and characteristics didnt wake up one day deciding that they want to enter a relationship and the next lucky random woman with a certain hair style or certain educational degree or a certain brand of accessories comes along and gets the prize.

 

What happens more often than not is boy meets girl and the girl triggers something in him that makes him want to have a relationship with her.

 

So it's incumbent on her to be the best that she can possibly be and get out there and hope that she connects with someone that she also feels attraction and respect and admiration for.

 

Basically speaking, women are the ones that choose from the available pool of men pursuing her. In others words women are the ones who pick.

 

So if she's not happy with the quality of suitors vying for her affections, it's on her to step up her game and become a better candidate that higher quality men will pursue.

[deep_night]

oh, and to reply. um... i could write what i've been told.

 

appreciative of all the nice gestures, this makes an impression on guys after all o_o makes me wonder how can you have a man do nice things for you and not appreciate them. i can have them do the same thing a 10000 times, i'll thank them all the same.

 

show interest in what they like. give them attention in that regards. i've been told "no one's ever been interested in this thing i like to do, that makes me feel great". and connected i'll add myself. btw he was doing some lovely things in his free time, the attention wasnt fake.

 

making him feel unique by possessing him a little bit, especially if there's another woman in the room who's into him. not by attacking or blaming him, in other ways that end up making him feel flattered.

 

someone once said to me that he wanted me around all the time because of "playfulness". im not exactly sure what he meant, im not the bubbly hyperactive type. i was just mildly teasing him and bantering with him so this must've been it.

 

several people mentioned tenderness physically, especially when it happened out of the blue.

[Redfisher]

what a nice thread.

 

i'd like to ask the men to explain what do they mean that they like someone who "needs" them. with real life examples if possible

 

I'm not sure about needing them, But I do like it when my girl involves me in her day to day stuff and asks my advice.... I guess that is being needed?

[deep_night]

I'm not sure about needing them, But I do like it when my girl involves me in her day to day stuff and asks my advice.... I guess that is being needed?

 

it's really nice that men actually LIKE that. ive noticed that when a man cared he wanted me to talk about my problems to him.

[central]

I'm not sure about needing them, But I do like it when my girl involves me in her day to day stuff and asks my advice.... I guess that is being needed?

 

I think that's being valued - which IMO is far more important than being needed.

[StBreton]

DWeRP? That's a new abbreviation...

 

I just wrote a whole list on what attracted me to him, and then I realized your question was "Girlfriends of DWeRPs: What things do the girls think helped "close the deal" for a certain dude with relationship potential?". So what you're really asking is what we think made them attracted to us?

 

A new acronym ...not sure but it works

 

Yes I'm asking the latter.

[StBreton]

Rhetorical questions to make a few points. Not really asking you answer publicly

 

 

I haven't read Hopeful' s thread in its entirety, but any time I hear a woman say there are no good men left the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

 

I really think when people (men and women) say that, it is more of an indictment of themselves rather than an actual assessment of the pool of available suitors.

 

What they are really saying is that they are unable to attract the quality of partner they want. Their expectations of what they want is not in alignment what they have to offer.

 

If a woman wants a man with six pack abs and rippling biceps, she's not going to get one if she blobular couch pilot. If she wants a corporate executive, she's not going to get one if her life ambition is a better score on Farmville. If she wants an intellectual, she's not going to get one if her greatest intellectual achievement is guessing what the Kardashians are going to wear to their next party.

 

Hypergamy is very strong in women so it's understandable that every woman is going to want a prince, but the reality is for every desirable trait that a woman wants her man to have, she must have commensurate traits of her own that will attract him to her.

 

Hence the reason for the thread and what we're trying to bring forth for those who hold this belief.

 

Again ... Thank you for the rhetorical questions as they are helpful.

 

I wouldn't mind sharing my answers even though I do find there ARE quality relationship potential guys out there ... have to look a little harder to find them and there is a bit of luck involved.

[RedRobin]

I have been preaching this here for years and I'm very excited to see that I am not the lone voice.

 

 

When you come across someone you like, always take the shot, even if they are dating someone else. If they don't want to go out with you they will decline the offer. If they do want to go out with you they will. It's up them to decide how exclusive they are or they are not.

 

 

That's ok for some people. When I'm in a relationship, I want someone courageous enough to work on our issues, and courageous enough to end things and be alone if it isn't working for them.

 

 

Multi-daters, to me, are cheaters in training and don't have the emotional fortitude to make it the long haul. But that is just me.

 

 

I DO think multi-daters should only date other 'multi-daters'. They can keep churning and bed-hopping all day chasing the elusive 'it'. Don't care.

 

 

As for the OP... What makes a guy 'relationship potential'? What makes a guy think I'm 'relationship potential'? Well, all of the men I've been in a relationship with were 'relationship' oriented guys... from the get-go.

 

 

I don't waste my time with men who are not. Those men have a style that is more focused on building intimacy... and doing the things that naturally build trust. I really couldn't care less about the other guys who might wind up in a relationship if they trip over one.

 

 

That's my advice to the OP. Don't waste your time throwing your bait into the wrong pond. Don't waste your time dating men who aren't relationship oriented if you are looking for a relationship.

 

 

If you aren't looking for a relationship, then date who ever.

[RedRobin]

Women in his own league need to have some kind of very strong common passion or goal. And women a league or more less will most commonly just be for sex.

 

 

Moral of the story here is the higher the quality of man you want, you have to be a little bit better.

 

 

 

That's not a 'quality' man... Anymore than it's a 'quality' woman who expects better than she can offer.

 

 

Quality men don't claim to be looking for a relationship, then use women they deem as 'lower quality' for sex.

 

 

I wouldn't touch that guy with a 10 foot pole. Don't care what he looks like or how much money he made. Or whatever league he thinks he's in. It's why I do my best to avoid men who admit to having FWB. I perceive them as users. Not a catch.

 

 

Getting back to the OP... I encourage all women to approach men the same way they approach a job you want. Assess your own skills and interests realistically... never apply for a job you aren't really interested in or string someone along. When you are 'interviewing', make sure you are interviewing them too.. Don't just take the first job you can find or sell skills you don't have.

 

 

I'd give men the same advice. The ones who are looking for a relationship that is. Lots of people these days date for sport, so I don't really have anything to tell those people.

 

 

If a guy hit on me knowing I was married or in a relationship, I'd lose respect for him. Not someone I'd trust.

[StBreton]

Fun song relating to the topic:)

 

 

"Hide Away"

 

Boys seem to like the girls

Who laugh at anything

The ones who get undressed

Before the second date

Girls seem to like the boys

Who don't appreciate

All the money and the time that it takes

To be fly as a mother

Got my both eyes out for Mr. Right

Guessing I just don't know where to find 'em

But I hope they all come out tonight

Hey!

 

Where do the good boys go to hide away, hide away?

I'm a good, good girl who needs a little company

Looking high and low, someone let me know

Where do the good boys go to hide away, hide away?

 

Boys seem to like the girls

Who like to kiss and tell

Talking them up about the things they do so well

But I'd rather find a boy

Who is down for the chase

Putting in the time that it takes

To be fly as a mother (Hey!)

To supply all of my heart's demands

Suit and tie cause under cover

He's gonna save my life like superman

Hey!

 

Where do the good boys go to hide away, hide away?

I'm a good, good girl who needs a little company

Looking high and low, someone let me know

Where do the good boys go to hide away, hide away?

 

Tell me where the good boys go

Tell me where the good boys go

Tell me where the good boys go

Won't somebody tell me, tell me

Tell me where the good boys go

Tell me where the good boys go

Tell me where the good boys go

Tell me where the good boys go

(Hey!)

 

Where do the good boys go to hide away, hide away?

I'm a good, good girl who needs a little company

Looking high and low, someone let me know

Where do the good boys go to hide away, hide away?

(Hey!)

 

Hide away, hide away

Hide away, hide away

 

Looking high and low, someone let me know

Where do the good boys go to hide away, hide away?

(Hey!)

[RedRobin]

I know your song is tongue in cheek...

 

 

The good men aren't hiding.

 

 

They are right in front of your face.

 

 

If you feel like they are 'hiding',

 

 

then you aren't looking in the right place.

[loveflower]

.....................

Edited December 15, 2015 by loveflower

[craw]

Bear in mind that I am by no means a dating expert.

 

This is what I've learned and I'm still learning to abide by:

 

 

Don't sleep with him too early.

 

Don't be too available.

 

Let HIM chase you (I am improving on this)

 

Also, don't be so hard on yourself. It's OK to be picky.

 

I could tell you a gazillion other don'ts, but in the end every situation varies. Sometimes I was in the wrong, but 100% it all happened for a reason.

[salparadise]

This is what I've learned and I'm still learning to abide by:

 

Ugh, I guess there may be some variability within, but these are not attractive. My preferences with respect to each in bullet lists:

 

"Don't sleep with him too early."

 

• Does not use sex as a reward/control incentive
  
• Good libido, uninhibited, adventurous
  
• Initiates appropriately and expresses desire
  
• Communicates sexuality, shares her fantasies, respects and indulges mine
  
• Loves to phukk and not afraid to say so
  
• Zero bull$hit
  

 

 

"Don't be too available."

 

• Is available and responds appropriately when I initiate
  
• Takes the lead sometimes and plans things
  
• Attentive both when we are together and via text, phone, etc.
  
• Doesn't play games or use juvenile manipulation tactics
  
• Zero bull$hit
  

 

"Let HIM chase you (I am improving on this)"

 

• Reciprocal- meets me half way, attentive
  
• Knows when to lead and when to follow
  
• Understands it takes two enthusiastic people to have a nice dance
  
• High agreeableness and conscientiousness
  
• Doesn't play games or use juvenile manipulation tactics
  
• Zero bull$hit
  

 

 

"It's OK to be picky."

 

• No narcissists or princesses- never again
  
• Balances self-respect with appreciation of the other
  
• Compatibility and frequency resonance are priorities
  
• Not out to score a lifestyle upgrade or focused on superficial sh*t
  
• Mature, evolved, empathetic, humble, intelligent, high integrity
  
• Secure attachment, emotional availability, monogamous, enthusiastic
  
• Knows an opportunity when she sees one, not influenced by paradox of choice
  
• Zero bull$hit
  

 

And the amazing thing... I actually found an amazing woman who is all of these, and she apparently thinks I am good enough.

 

Note the emphasis on zero bull$hit. I think men and women both should adopt a zero bull$hit policy- there are definitely good ones out there, but you have to be patient and hold out until you find them. And you have to be able to recognize them when you do.

[11012015]

Reading a thread started by Hopful30 (and not wanting to hijack her thread) led me to start this thread:

 

How does a girl score a DWeRP? (Dude with Relationship Potential)

 

 

• DWeRPs: What has made you guys want to "close the deal" on a certain girl over another?
  
• Girlfriends of DWeRPs: What things do the girls think helped "close the deal" for a certain dude with relationship potential?
  

 

Would be helpful to readers if bullet points utilized;)

 

Could be shallow things like nice body, beautiful

Could be characteristics like spontaneous, go with the flow, laughs at your jokes, warmth, good sense of humor, gregarious, good wife skills...etc etc

 

What caused that "click" moment...even if it was a combination of things

 

Try to be as specific as possible:)

 

• 
  Loyalty
  

• 
  Honesty [No semi-truths, omissions, 'I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd me mad' BS]
  

• 
  Sweet, enjoyable personality.
  

• 
  Communicates well when things aren't great. [No passive aggressive behavior]
  

• 
  Sexual compatibillity