When your breakup was actually a good thing

[itisdanielle]

Good evening everyone!

 

After a few weeks feeling a lot better, I've had a terrible day dealing with my BU. I am sticking to NC which is helping.

 

A lot of posts online seem to focus on recent dumpee's asking for times when people have had a successful reconciliation, and while I do love these stories (I am a bit of a hopeless romantic so of course I love it when this happens for people!), they have caused me so much false hope.

 

I thought it would be quite motivating to hear from people that have been through a breakup that they struggled with, only for it to be the best thing for them in the longrun.

 

Maybe it caused you to do something spontaneous that changed your life, allowed you to meet someone better suited, gave you some clarity that they weren't that great for you anyway...I don't know, anything!

 

Not sure if this is a bit of an odd post idea. I'm just trying to tell myself that yeah this hurts and is hard right now, but it could lead me on to better things if I let it.

 

Hope everybody is coping okay today

[Lovestinks12]

Hey how long ago was your break up?

 

I'm struggling myself right now and its been 8 months.

The only thing that was a plus to my break up, was that it opened my eyes to what was really going on around my life. I was slacking with school, not exercising, poor attitude to people that I cared for, and showed how co dependent I was, which isn't healthy. The break up made me question everything, but motivated me to better myself. I'm still struggling like I said, but alot of things I need to change is far from my reach right now and its depressing. Its hard to stay positive, knowing that my ex is doing well and has a new bf. I don't know if that was helpful haha

[Blanco]

I think you'll find that, given enough time, people will say most of their breakups were ultimately a good thing.

[Eighty_nine]

I really like this thread!

 

The biggest/most painful breakup of my life (still) was when I was 20. My boyfriend was also my best friend, and losing him was awful. Since the relationship was over I did a National Student Exchange program and went to school for a semester in California (I'm from NY). Not sure if I would have done that otherwise and it was maybe the most fun and exciting 5 months of my young life.

 

And I've dated, cared for, stayed friends with etc. so many people since he and I broke up. Those people meant a lot to me, taught me so much, and I value those memories... they all helped make me who I am. Had I stayed with my first boyfriend, I would've missed knowing all of them. And I wouldn't have met my current partner, who is the best, most perfect match for me.

[GorillaTheater]

I think you'll find that, given enough time, people will say most of their breakups were ultimately a good thing.

 

 

All of my break-ups were a good thing. I wouldn't have my wife, otherwise.

[cupcakebunny]

I am going through a tough time myself. 6 months post BU and struggling with the no contact. I was the one that left and it was devastating. All those plans gone. When I sit down and list out all the problems -- it was necessary. It was a toxic and ugly relationship where both parties were deeply resentful of the other person. It's telling when literally no one in either family or our friends was like "OH NO WHAT HAPPENED?" it was all "Yeah...it was a matter of time." Yet, you sit there thinking maybe if I had done this. Or if I go back it'll be better and I won't do this. I hate that feeling.

 

 

 

 

It would be good to hear from people who felt the same but later on realized - oh no. It was for the best.

[Jax13]

Not sure if this is in the spirit of this thread as I am only 1.5 months removed from my breakup and honestly still hope we can reconcile someday in the future.

 

 

I will say that the breakup was good for me to actually realize some things about myself and how I treated some people. I know that I still had a life outside of my relationship with my gf, but honestly, I think I learned that when in a serious long term relationship, I need to put as much effort into the relationship as anything else in my life... I didn't and learned a lot of things about myself that I needed to change for my next relationship, no matter who it's with. So while it sucks and I hope we get back together, the breakup taught me lots so in a way it was half decent thing.