She cheated.

[Space Ritual]

Its done.

 

 

Hearing your brutal but honest thoughts. I asked her last night "to fix my mind, will you take a lie detector?"

 

 

Straight up refused.

 

 

Job done. Game over.

 

 

I've moved out and now I have no clue what to do lol

She txt me a lot today, I have not replied. Its the hardest thing I have had to do.

 

 

But I guess **** goes on.

 

 

Thanks again for opening my eyes!

 

 

Hey Joe...Where you going with that gun in your hand? lol

 

All kidding aside, you have taken the first step in taking your life back! I congratulate you for taking that first step.

Right now you are a mixed bag of emotions. And that is pretty normal. I am sorry to hear she refused a Polygraph. That was all you really needed to know as to how committed she was to reestablishing trust.

 

Your first order of business should be in separating any finances you have from her. If she has any joint bank accounts with you, you need to close them or put them solely in your name, toot suite. She sounds like she is going to go into crisis mode, and that also means she may try to clean those accounts out. You need to make that a priority. If you can't trust her with her vagina you sure as hell can't trust her with a bank account. With her poor track record I'd be doing that today.

 

Secondly I would make sure you have some sort of support system in place. If you have close family or close friends let them know what is going on. Be prepared for her to rewrite your relationship to anyone she meets so get the jump on it. It may seem a bit childish to do so, but again, you are going to see someone go into crisis mode, and I can tell you that desperate people do desperate things. If you have any face to face contact with her from now on, carry a voice activated recorder with you at all times. It is not out of the realm of possibility any face to face meeting could result in some sort of False Domestic Violence charge. If you think I'm crazy I would bet there is more than one person on this forum that it has indeed happened to.

 

In lieu of that, try to not have any contact with her at all, unless necessary. Otherwise, crickets.

 

Make sure you get something to eat, drink plenty of water, and stay away from the booze, by all means.

 

I am kind of surprised you left, I'd have kicked her out, but that is your call. Hope it does not come back to bite you, but please start out by separating yourself financially and legally from her as soon as possible.If this leaves her destitute, tough titties. She should have thought of that beforehand, so maybe she will have to figure out the hard way she doesn't fart glitter and rainbows.

 

Good luck and keep posting. It will help.

[Mind-Chants]

Keep ur self esteem at the highest point. U know that u can do better. Just don't be in denial. Like u said being single at 30 but it's just a number. It's in ur mind. Nobody wants to get out of their comfort zone. Don't go to suffer life of misery. Every time u remember the good time u had with her, remember those were moments of deception when u had absolutely no idea what was going behind of your back. Number of times she had sex is not significant. Once or ten times doesn't make difference. Cheating is cheating.

 

Pathological lying is a severe disorder. People can't get out of it. Just run away asap before it's too late. And don't fall for crocodile tears and requests because they are her felling sorry for herself getting caught rather than for ur relationship. Also those tears are full of deception. If u fall back , u would only get hurt in future and regret that I had a chance to be happy but I let it go just because I couldn't risk being single at 30. Sometimes the biggest risk in life in not taking risk itself. Just take the decision and make it happen.

 

Consider this from someone whose best friend lost half a decade to a pathological liar who had affairs for their entire time being together. (We are friends since I could remember things). Every time she got caught, he fell for those tears. I requested him every time not to get back. After third time, we had a mega fight with him things getting physical because he cudn't take things rationally when I said things against her.

 

It happened again, yeah 4 times (four different guys in 5.5 years. Full fledged physical relationship in all cases) and he fell into deep depression and had to be admitted into psych ward for severe withdrawl. She was cold enough to start a new relationship with the other guy she cheated with. (She cheated on him too. No one was surprised. She even never ever inquired about him about how hez doin.) My friend is rebuilding his life. Ruined his brilliant career and lost top paying job for nothing. U can't clap with one hand, u need both hands. Same goes for a relationship as well.

 

Wish u good luck.

[Buddhist]

The debt im in is because of her gambling addiction. I really cant remember too much what I wrote last night and im sorry if I have repeated myself.

 

Your are a co-dependant and you need therapy just as much as she does. Stop living in denial and get help please. Staying with this woman will sink you financially and you will spend the rest of your life digging yourself out of that hole.

[Spectre]

If you break up she will be left with nothing? AWESOME, break up with her immediately please.

[Leucine]

Leave her immediately, not because she cheated but because she is a pathological liar and by staying, you would condemn yourself to bankruptcy with no way to escape from it once she decides to get pregnant from you (she won't inform you about that decision, trust me on this one).

[mssweet]

Omg, please leave this woman. Immediately. Do you really care if she will be left with nothing??? That's what she deserves. Why on earth would you want to be her security blanket?! She will continue to lie and take advantage of you. No need to dig any further, I think you've discovered enough damage. Life is too short to waste more time with this pathological liar. You're only 30 - that's young!

[bubbaganoosh]

Friend I'm glad that you finally left because if you kept digging the only thing you would have made was a grave for yourself. The next thing is don't answer her texts or phone calls.

[Raena]

Anyone had experience with staying with someone who has cheated? Did it end well?

 

Yes, I have experience with staying with someone who cheated. No it did not end well. He cheated again SIX YEARS later.

 

I've been in your shoes... listened to the lies, fell for them, hoped for something better, a renewed trust, and a better relationship. I tried to work it out but it didn't work out. Why? Because he is broken, much like your gf is, and no amount of love, time or therapy was going to fix it. It's best if you walk away now before you dig yourself further into a hole.

[Chi townD]

Dude, if you would have stayed with her, I would have NO DOUBT that she would try to have your kid so you would be linked to her and indebted to her for at least 18 years. She would have trapped you.

 

 

It's best that you just walk away and start with a fresh and clean slate.

[No Limit]

Look, some people are just broken. They just are. They don't function, morals or other people's feelings are nothing they'd ever care about. Stay away from people such as these and you'll see how much better off you'll be.