notinept Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 What exactly does it mean to be "put on a pedestal" ? I overheard a couple women (cafe table next to mine) talking about this, and the one told the other; "... he had me up on a pedestal ... I couldn't take it any longer so I left him ..." And so it got me wondering... Have you experienced this in any of your relationships ? How would you describe it exactly ? How did it make you feel/act toward your s/o ? How could it have been so detrimental to this women's relationship that she ended it ? Link to post Share on other sites
Redfisher Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 google it for a detailed version...But really it means you look up to them as being perfect and the best at everything like an idol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author notinept Posted December 13, 2015 Author Share Posted December 13, 2015 Yeah I googled it but most were written by a guy, from a guys perspective, and nothing about how it affected the 'pedestalizee'. It's the effect I'm wondering about. For example; does it make the 'worshiped' feel like they're obligated to live up to something they can't ? Does it make it feel like you/they could've done much better than ending up with this pedestalizer ? Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 I guess the guy was a pushover and always agreed with her about everything. Always trying to please her Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Google "narcissist pedestal" ... there's an article on esteemology.com That should tell you enough that being put on a pedestal is a warning signal and doesn't lead to good places down the road. There's a cost for that pedestal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 What exactly does it mean to be "put on a pedestal" ? I overheard a couple women (cafe table next to mine) talking about this, and the one told the other; "... he had me up on a pedestal ... I couldn't take it any longer so I left him ..." And so it got me wondering... Have you experienced this in any of your relationships ? How would you describe it exactly ? How did it make you feel/act toward your s/o ? How could it have been so detrimental to this women's relationship that she ended it ? it means you're building your whole focus on an idea of them --or how you want them to be, which no one can live up to--instead of who they really are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Yeah I googled it but most were written by a guy, from a guys perspective, and nothing about how it affected the 'pedestalizee'. It's the effect I'm wondering about. For example; does it make the 'worshiped' feel like they're obligated to live up to something they can't ? Does it make it feel like you/they could've done much better than ending up with this pedestalizer ? It is can be very frustrating and restrictive being in a relationship like that. A relationship based on a fantasy rather than reality can become unbalanced and unhealthy. Link to post Share on other sites
Natalie8 Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Being put on pedestal for me felt like the person didnt want to get to know ME..he just wanted me to fit his perfect women image he had in his mind. In the beginning he was really excited about me but talked really negatively about his exes. As he got to know me he started to realize that im not this perfect pure women he hoped i was and he held it against me. Like somehow i disappointed him by sharing things about myself with him. When he got drunk he would say stuff like "there are no pure women left out there, all women are [email protected]" This really hurt me. At the end he dumped me. I think this was an extreme case of putting someone on a pedestal. I think we all do this in our own way, i certainly have done it before. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author notinept Posted December 13, 2015 Author Share Posted December 13, 2015 Natalie - Thanks ! It's the personal perspective ("I've been there") answer(s) I'm looking for. Link to post Share on other sites
Glitters Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 The person who is put on the pedestal has a lot to deal with ! Its 'your' perfect person without the human flaws.They have to live upto 'your' expectations. Of course they could be someone who has all the qualities that you want including their flaws and could still be on your personal pedestal. Link to post Share on other sites
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