blueskyday Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 I vote for breaking up now. It's less painful than finding out later your wonderful Christmas with someone was a lie. I had a guy call off a wedding right after Christmas. We had a fun and happy Christmas Day--or at least so I thought. He later told me he wasn't happy that day at all. It made me doubt my own perceptions, which is way worse than a break up. One week later he was ready to get married. Apparently, just a bad case of cold feet, but so hurtful. Communication is key. In your friend's situation, he should have talked to her in August when he began to feel bad about the relationship. Maybe they could have made adjustments. Maybe not, but at least she would have had a heads up that he wasn't happy. So, I would rather know right now. of course he shouldn't dump her on Christmas Eve or Christmas day, or even New Year's Day. That would be very cruel. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 3 years. I double checked that on FB which reminded me that they also had an anniversary since then. I hadn't really thought about it before, but i think I might develop some trust issues if I found out somebody had stayed with me through 3 holidays/celebrations (maybe 4 if New Years too) just out of pity/obligation when they knew all along they wanted to dump me. Well I guess they are trying to make sure its not just an off the cuff dumping thing and is what they really want. Best to get it over with now, and fast, before Christmas arrives. Theres still a couple of weeks so this is actually better timing than leaving it until after. Tell them to pull their finger out and get on with it. Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 Before Christmas. It's a ghastly time of year anyway, so get all the misery and depression over and start the new year with hope. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 I'm having this issue. I don't want to break up with him now because Christmas and New Years are coming. We've already exchanged and opened gifts. Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 I'm having this issue. I don't want to break up with him now because Christmas and New Years are coming. We've already exchanged and opened gifts. Totally lame. Just end it now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 Totally lame. Just end it now. I wish i had dumped him in oct or nov before holiday season. My oh my if i had a time machine. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author The Way I Am Posted December 16, 2015 Author Share Posted December 16, 2015 Well I guess they are trying to make sure its not just an off the cuff dumping thing and is what they really want. You'd think, but apparently not. I've asked at least twice since Aug "Are you sure you want to break up? Maybe the reason you haven't yet is because you'd like to reconsider." The answer was no. Definitely sure. This person doesn't have much relationship or dating experience, and they don't want to face the fact that they're going to hurt the other person, so they keep putting it off. Which I've pointed out is selfish. I let me friend know I asked this question on a forum and a general overview of the advice. Seems to have shifted to a majority for ending things right away with several solid reasons why that I hadn't thought of before. Maybe it'll make a difference. Maybe it won't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author The Way I Am Posted December 16, 2015 Author Share Posted December 16, 2015 I'm having this issue. I don't want to break up with him now because Christmas and New Years are coming. We've already exchanged and opened gifts. The opinions on this thread seem to have shifted heavily in favor of doing it before Christmas. The count is around 14 - before, 2 - after. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 The opinions on this thread seem to have shifted heavily in favor of doing it before Christmas. The count is around 14 - before, 2 - after. I do not want to be spending my precious time with a phony. End it immediately and move on. It's best for both. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Hmmm, now that I think about it, think I'd have to go with before. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Additional questions. Would the amount of time they'd wanted to break up with you make you feel any differently? Like if they'd wanted to break up with you since Aug vs just decided on it. Would how long they'd wanted to break up be a question you'd ask? I'd be more pissed that they waited nearly 6 months to break up and then did it before Christmas. It's like wtf ! Do it before Christmas regardless, better to save some $$, otherwise it would be such a waste emotionally and in the wallet! Link to post Share on other sites
NewLeaf512 Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 I'd rather be before. Then the first Christmas without so and so build up is gone Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 I'd prefer after New Years, since that's the first of the month and all, Finding a place to rent with <5 days is already quite a high wall. Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 I would rather be dumped before Christmas, so then being around my family would be distracting, I could stuff my face and drink at dinner. -woman Link to post Share on other sites
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