Amanda77 Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Alright folks, I want to take your opinion since most of you are experiencing a long distance relation in some sort. Long story short, I've been with this guy for almost 4 years now. We met online and we haven't met yet, due to my studies and him being in a new job so couldn't take days off easily. He can afford the days off now but we just have't met yet and I have't talked about it much since I don't want it to come from me since we agreed that he's the one visiting first. Since the beginning we fell for each other pretty hard, we love each other very much and we share everything, have the same taste in everything. He used to say all kind of romantic stuff, how he loves me, wrote me love letters, songs, etc. We are planning on getting married someday. He's always talking about the future and including me in it and we do have a sexual side of the relation but lately that's all on his mind really, dropped the love letters, love words and everything romantic he used to say. Now he's so sexually charged all the time. His excuses that he loves me and needs me all the time. To be honest I don't know what to do? How do you guys maintain a romance in LDR? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 4 years is a long time to waste on something that won't be real until you meet. I would focus on planning that 1st meet sooner rather than later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Sorry, you do not have any relationship yet. 4 years online is not a relationship, and he's most likely using you for Skype sex (or however else you do it). No seriously interested man would have put off meeting you for 4 years. That meeting should have happened about 3 years and 11 months ago. Date others. Most likely, that is what he is doing. None of this is real until you've met in person. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Good lord. You've wasted 4 long years of your young life on some internet lothario who hasn't been able - in 4 LONG YEARS - to meet you ONCE in person? Seriously? Please just stop. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Good lord. You've wasted 4 long years of your young life on some internet lothario who hasn't been able - in 4 LONG YEARS - to meet you ONCE in person? Seriously? ***Please just stop. This^^^ His excuses that he loves me and needs me all the time. To be honest I don't know what to do? Wait...if he loves you and "needs" you all the time...why hasn't he come for a visit exactly? ***Do the above... and go date someone local that you actually have contact with. How do you guys maintain a romance in LDR? By visiting one another frequently, by maintaining the romance part of the relationship. But you don't have a relationship...it's a fantasy. Do you see that anywhere in there? 4 years and you haven't met?? How old are you? What is the distance between you? Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted December 14, 2015 Share Posted December 14, 2015 4 years is a very long time to be with someone without ever having met him, OP. If he had truly viewed this as a real relationship, he would have tried to visit you WAY earlier. Nobody "can't afford to take time off" for 4 years! If you want to stay in this R you absolutely should talk to him about meeting up ASAP and see how things go from there. It's way overdue. Link to post Share on other sites
Islander19 Posted December 14, 2015 Share Posted December 14, 2015 If he hasn't bothered to meet you in four years I question how seriously he's taking this relationship. If it was me I would have made an effort to meet as soon as possible. I don't want to say you've wasted 4 years of your life, because obviously if you've stuck around this long you've gotten something positive out of this. But when you're just talking over text email and even skype, it's all really just fantasy. You don't know what it's like to really be with them in person. Just this last summer I had and LDR with a woman I met online. I thought I had met the one. We talked for 2 months and then were finally able to arrange a meeting. It was ok but not really how I imagined it. We ended up breaking up shortly after. The reality is never going to be as good as the fantasy, which is why I think it's important to meet as soon as possible. I'm not saying it's going to be a disappointment if and when you finally meet, but you may be in for a rude awakening. Just a heads up. If I were you I would demand a meeting or move on to someone who you can actually date and have a relationship with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Amanda77 Posted December 14, 2015 Author Share Posted December 14, 2015 This^^^ His excuses that he loves me and needs me all the time. To be honest I don't know what to do? Wait...if he loves you and "needs" you all the time...why hasn't he come for a visit exactly? ***Do the above... and go date someone local that you actually have contact with. How do you guys maintain a romance in LDR? By visiting one another frequently, by maintaining the romance part of the relationship. But you don't have a relationship...it's a fantasy. Do you see that anywhere in there? 4 years and you haven't met?? How old are you? What is the distance between you? All right guys I will confront him about the visit, it's either he visits soon or I'll end it. To answer your questions: I'm 22 and I live in Norway, and he's from Argentina. Link to post Share on other sites
emi Posted December 14, 2015 Share Posted December 14, 2015 4 years oh lord lol. I cant imagine being in a LDR with someone i met for that long, not mention not having meet. You are from a " richer" country. Try offer to split the bill. Give him a deadline and see how he act 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 14, 2015 Share Posted December 14, 2015 All right guys I will confront him about the visit, it's either he visits soon or I'll end it. To answer your questions: I'm 22 and I live in Norway, and he's from Argentina. Oh dear. You started this fantasy as children. It may have been fun while it lasted but given the distance, the cost & the immigration issues, this may never transition from OL to RL. It's unrealistic at best. Plus you have built it into a fantasy that the reality may not be able to live up to. Good luck but prepare for the worst. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 14, 2015 Share Posted December 14, 2015 OP, I'm curious, where did you meet online? A gaming site or chat room or OLD? Have you Skyped or Facetimed at all during those 4 years to know he's real on the other end? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 4 years oh lord lol. I cant imagine being in a LDR with someone i met for that long, not mention not having meet. You are from a " richer" country. Try offer to split the bill. Give him a deadline and see how he act I agree with this. Currency conversion is a big deal, especially considering the disparity of min wage in Argentina vs Norway. Do NOT straight up send him money though. Instead, say you'll pay for his accommodation, transport to/from the airport and all dating costs while he's around. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Amanda77 Posted December 19, 2015 Author Share Posted December 19, 2015 OP, I'm curious, where did you meet online? A gaming site or chat room or OLD? Have you Skyped or Facetimed at all during those 4 years to know he's real on the other end? Yes we Skype and talk on the phone a lot, we met on a chat room off somewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Amanda77 Posted December 19, 2015 Author Share Posted December 19, 2015 I agree with this. Currency conversion is a big deal, especially considering the disparity of min wage in Argentina vs Norway. Do NOT straight up send him money though. Instead, say you'll pay for his accommodation, transport to/from the airport and all dating costs while he's around. Alright I'll suggest that idea and see how it goes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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