artnoveau Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Hello everyone. I was dumped fairly recently and though the first week was hell, I feel much better now and see that its for the better. I sometimes think about him, but it goes away quickly. It actually feels like my brain is blocking any thoughts about him, so I guess that is a good defense mechanism. Unfortunately I keep dreaming about him and most of the time it is a sexual dream. Its like my brain hasn't caught on to the fact that its over. I feel a bit dirty when I have those dreams and dislike the feeling in general, as soon as I become aware of it. Does anyone know how to deal with this? I don't intend to have sex with someone else for another few months, as I need intimacy for that and don't feel ready to fall in love again. So how do I get him out of my head? Link to post Share on other sites
DJ1986 Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Unfortunately it's neither an easy process nor a simple one. Many posts on here will tell you about the 'no contact' method, which means going completely without writing or contacting the person and not initiating any form of conversation. Reminding yourself daily that you're strong, and that you won't settle for less. It works in the sense that it gives you strength, and shows the other that you won't take being disrespected. It shows the dumper that you're not a pushover, and that you demand better. It's something I recommend you do immediately if you haven't done so already because it gave me strength after a recent mess I went through, and gave me time to analyze things about myself. However; that doesn't exactly solve the issue of getting said person out of your head. For that I propose hanging out with friends. Pick up some new hobbies, or invest more time in ones you already love. Find ways to better yourself, and focus on your life, job, and your family. Soon you'll find the sex dreams, and the thoughts of said person becoming less and less. You may even come to discover with time (as I did) that this person wasn't really 'the one' like you thought, and that you overlooked certain issues in the relationship that would've affected it's ability to keep working in the long term. It seems like you've already started to do that a little so you're on the right track. Believe me when I say it gets better and these type of sexual thoughts will come to pass. Until that day, it's best to fill your brain and your time with new and exciting things and enjoy your life while you can. True love will come someday. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chronotrgr Posted December 14, 2015 Share Posted December 14, 2015 I came here to write something out that would help but the poster above beat me to it, I would take that advice and make it your own. I'm glad your doing better, the first few days are always the hardest and no contact is important for healing less you wish to repeat the cycle of the first few days all over again. I wouldn't tell yourself what your dreaming is a dirty thing, I dream the same kind of things, it's painful when you wake up to reality, for me it's missing the intimate connection I had with my ex more than it is the act of sex itself, I'll best it's the same feeling for you. Try to relax and not think too much, hobbies and life goals at a time like this can move you along and give you a much needed confidence boost. Link to post Share on other sites
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