bbwcfan Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 Ok so in December I met the most wonderful girl.. and we have been together for 6 months now, going strong, never a fight, never a problem, alike personalities, loving relationship, the whole 9 yards. But she had to leave a few days ago to Iowa for the summer. I even went to the airport at 3am to see her for 5 minutes (I couldn't get past security). That is how sweet I am to this girl and how much I care. She absolutely loves it. She does have the internet in Iowa and has called a couple of times, but it is a difficult adjustment from what I am used to: seeing her and talking to her quite often. She is 18 and I am 22.. this is not her first relationship, nor is it mine, but it is the first time either of us has felt this strong. I was wondering if there is any advice on how to make the adjustment, and if you think I should be worried about the distance. She tells me she misses me and loves me and is thinking about me but it is really hard to think that when she gets back everything will be as is. Link to post Share on other sites
scarlyjones Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 You shouldnt have a girlfriend at 22 or , she, a boyfriend at 18. Thats my opinion. Do you REALLY think you two will be together forever? You should be dating and having fun with friends and not settling down with a girl until you have an education or achieved life goals or both. Do you both plan on college?? Link to post Share on other sites
SexKitten Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 people at the ages of 22 and 18 shouldn't have girlfriends or boyfriends? what? now that's the most ridiculous thing I'VE ever heard. Link to post Share on other sites
scarlyjones Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 thats because you're probably 18 or 22 Link to post Share on other sites
scarlyjones Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 why shouldnt you keep your focus on your future without the distraction of heartbreak getting in the way. Ive seen people with great potential NOT go to colleges that they got into JUST to stay in their hometown to be with their girlfriends or boyfriends ONLY to have those relationships end. So now that offer from the college is gone and so is the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
SexKitten Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 yeah, probably. except i'm 24. but i was 18 and 22, so i know what it's like to be those ages, and know that people that age are supposed to be dating. i was also in an 7 yr relationship until i was 21. i know a little bit about these things. people date before they get married, you know. they even have several girlfriends/boyfriends before then. not everyone waits until they are 35, meets one person, and runs off and gets married. and what exactly is your problem, scarly? you're being very bytchy for some reason. Link to post Share on other sites
SexKitten Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 Originally posted by scarlyjones why shouldnt you keep your focus on your future without the distraction of heartbreak getting in the way. Ive seen people with great potential NOT go to colleges that they got into JUST to stay in their hometown to be with their girlfriends or boyfriends ONLY to have those relationships end. So now that offer from the college is gone and so is the relationship. that's a chance that some, not all, take. i went away to college 4 years into my relationship. it lasted almost another 4 years. people get married and have children, and end up divorced. that's also a chance. people go to college only to fail out. another a chance. it doesn't mean you shouldn't try to do what you think is right at the time. some people know what's best for themselves better than you would. Link to post Share on other sites
scarlyjones Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 I dont mean to be b*tchy,..............Im sorry .............I SAID kinda what YOU did. I think people should date. Not tie themselves down to one person while they are young. Thats what I meant. Young people cannot deal with relationship problems like adults can ( as far as the emotional side goes ) Too often, teens and young adults make decisions based solely on the way they feel in their relationships. They pass up GREAT once in lifetime opportunities because their girlfriend wanted to go shoe shopping or something or their boyfriend needed to blow all his money on "spinner" rims. Link to post Share on other sites
scarlyjones Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 young people,...generally,..dont know whats good for them. They THINK they do...........but they dont. Thats the difference. It all comes back to that "cant think beyond 5 minutes into the future" way of thinking. Immediate gratificaton. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 Originally posted by bbwcfan Ok so in December I met the most wonderful girl.. and we have been together for 6 months now, going strong, never a fight, never a problem, alike personalities, loving relationship, the whole 9 yards. But she had to leave a few days ago to Iowa for the summer. I even went to the airport at 3am to see her for 5 minutes (I couldn't get past security). That is how sweet I am to this girl and how much I care. She absolutely loves it. She does have the internet in Iowa and has called a couple of times, but it is a difficult adjustment from what I am used to: seeing her and talking to her quite often. She is 18 and I am 22.. this is not her first relationship, nor is it mine, but it is the first time either of us has felt this strong. I was wondering if there is any advice on how to make the adjustment, and if you think I should be worried about the distance. She tells me she misses me and loves me and is thinking about me but it is really hard to think that when she gets back everything will be as is. Six weeks will go by fast, even if you only talk a couple times a week online, email or on the phone. If something happens with either of you, and you try your best to pick things up where u left off, then it really wasn't meant to last. Don't give her the impression that you don't trust her. If you miss her, then tell her without making her feel guilty for not being there with you. Tell her everything you've been up to as well, that way she will have no suspicions or insecurities about your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bbwcfan Posted June 1, 2005 Author Share Posted June 1, 2005 Um we're both in college. I have a 4.0 GPA in computer science and philosophy. Thanks though for being a total idiot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bbwcfan Posted June 1, 2005 Author Share Posted June 1, 2005 Thanks MWC. Makes sense.. we talked today and yeah we're both totally committed to each other. We can make this work Link to post Share on other sites
scarlyjones Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by bbwcfan Um we're both in college. I have a 4.0 GPA in computer science and philosophy. Thanks though for being a total idiot. name calling??? Nice. You SOUND like a 22 yr old all right. Link to post Share on other sites
SexKitten Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by scarlyjones name calling??? Nice. You SOUND like a 22 yr old all right. and that wasn't much better. if anything, scarly, you act more like an obnoxious teenager than anyone you accuse. not being mean, but you really need to tone it down sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
NiCoLe20 Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 do u think u can go down there for the summer for 2 or 3 days? just to see her and u can stay the night at a nearby hotel?! that mite work out... oh yea... how can u say that young people ''dont know what good for them?" maybe you didnt at this age so dont stereotype the rest of us. im 20, in an exclusive relationship, having a real good job, and know what i want in life... theres a few bad eggs here n there but not all of us are!! Link to post Share on other sites
SexKitten Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by NiCoLe20 do u think u can go down there for the summer for 2 or 3 days? just to see her and u can stay the night at a nearby hotel?! that mite work out... oh yea... how can u say that young people ''dont know what good for them?" maybe you didnt at this age so dont stereotype the rest of us. im 20, in an exclusive relationship, having a real good job, and know what i want in life... theres a few bad eggs here n there but not all of us are!! there are bad eggs in every demographic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bbwcfan Posted June 1, 2005 Author Share Posted June 1, 2005 We talk whenever we both have time (mostly online) and she appears to be extremely depressed and missing me like crazy.. but I hate how I'm almost ruining her time with her family it seems with her missing me so much, but sometimes love has to do that.. I myself am going to Albuquerque tomorrow to visit my family for 2 nights, so we will barely talk, but I wrote her a letter which she should get tomorrow in the mail Link to post Share on other sites
scarlyjones Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 People come on here looking for advice,..observation,...and TRUTH. I tell how I see it. I say what I think. Which is what they've asked. If they dont LIKE the response,...thats not my fault. I simply say what I feel. And another thing,....its very hard to gauge TONE in a text message. Im not staring at my monitor with an EVIL glare and laughing sinisterly while typing. Im dont mean this to be read with a screaming voice in mind. If you could be in front of me right now and I could just SAY these things to you,..you wouldnt think Im such a tyrant. Link to post Share on other sites
SexKitten Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by scarlyjones People come on here looking for advice,..observation,...and TRUTH. I tell how I see it. I say what I think. Which is what they've asked. If they dont LIKE the response,...thats not my fault. I simply say what I feel. And another thing,....its very hard to gauge TONE in a text message. Im not staring at my monitor with an EVIL glare and laughing sinisterly while typing. Im dont mean this to be read with a screaming voice in mind. If you could be in front of me right now and I could just SAY these things to you,..you wouldnt think Im such a tyrant. it's the way you try to make your points in your comments. you take irrelevant things about the issue, like saying people don't know better because of age, and that if someone agrees with someone who disagrees with you, it's because they must be 22 or younger. that's not telling it like it is, that's saying "i know better." and you don't. in that sense, tone is very obvious. sarcasm and condescension are easily recognizable. Link to post Share on other sites
scarlyjones Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 I SAID "generally"...............that means Im acknowledging that they're exceptions. But you must agree,..that GENERALLY,...young people dont make wise decisions. They usually make ones to get immediate gratificaion. They dont want to wait for it,....they want it NOW. They go into things unprepared,..uninformed....usually get screwed. Thats called lifes lessons. Thats how MOST people learn to be adults. Im just saying that there are ways to avoid that,..but its not easy. Im not saying I never did any of these things. I did MOST of them. Thats how I know. Ive learned from my mistakes. I just trying to help. I certainly dont want to fight with you. Im sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
SexKitten Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by scarlyjones I SAID "generally"...............that means Im acknowledging that they're exceptions. But you must agree,..that GENERALLY,...young people dont make wise decisions. They usually make ones to get immediate gratificaion. They dont want to wait for it,....they want it NOW. They go into things unprepared,..uninformed....usually get screwed. Thats called lifes lessons. Thats how MOST people learn to be adults. Im just saying that there are ways to avoid that,..but its not easy. Im not saying I never did any of these things. I did MOST of them. Thats how I know. Ive learned from my mistakes. I just trying to help. I certainly dont want to fight with you. Im sorry. okay. but everyone is not you. maybe at 22 you were unwise or made mistakes. not every 22 year-old is like that...or was like that when they were 22...or even younger. people are going to make mistakes at all ages. that is how they learn. you seem to know that. but all people are different. at any age, anything can happen, really. it just seems unfair to say "well you don't know any better because you're this..." i also do not want to argue with you. Link to post Share on other sites
scarlyjones Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 Are you not clear on what GENERALLY means? It means "as a whole",...."usually"....."in most cases".................all these phrases means "NOT ALL" Im aware that not all people get into these types of situations when they are young. But MOST do. That is my point. MOST do. So why you posted "not everyone is you" or "not every 22 yr old is like that" after I tried to explain this, is beyond me unless you just didnt understand me the first time. Okay,...??? THE VAST MAJORITY OF YOUNG PEOPLE MAKE THESE TYPES OF MISTAKES. "VAST MAJORITY" but NOT ALL OF THEM. THEIR ARE SOME EXCEPTIONS.......k? Link to post Share on other sites
SexKitten Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by scarlyjones Are not clear on what GENERALLY means? It means "as a whole",...."usually"....."in most cases".................all these phrases means "NOT ALL" Im aware that not all people get into these types of situations when they are young. But MOST do. That is my point. MOST do. So why you posted "not everyone is you" or "not every 22 yr old is like that" after I tried to explain this, is beyond me unless you just didnt understand me the first time. Okay,...??? THE VAST MAJORITY OF YOUNG PEOPLE MAKE THESE TYPES OF MISTAKES. "VAST MAJORITY" but NOT ALL OF THEM. THEIR ARE SOME EXCEPTIONS.......k? because saying things to people like "you're probably 22" is an assumption, and it's a cheap stab at insulting someone. i am quite clear on what general means, that's not the issue. and it isn't the VAST MAJORITY that makes mistakes. EVERYONE does. Even people older than 22. you're not understanding me, but i don't need to say anything else as you are making my point for me. Link to post Share on other sites
scarlyjones Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 .Yeah well my sarcasm detector was off the charts on your last post. You just dont get it. I think you keep leaving key words out of my posts just to make it sound bad so you can b*tch about them. I NEVER said that only majority of all people makes mistakes. I said a vast majority of young people make these kind of mistakes Link to post Share on other sites
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