Should i try again?

[Willis99]

Hey guys,

 

Your advice on this would be much appreciated! i have condensed it as best as i can.

 

A little over a year ago i was hanging out with a girl who i was really into. We hung out for a couple of weeks to which i would either come over or we would go out. We had both recently had got out of relationships so it worked out really well. To date i had never been so much into another person in my life ... it was overwhelming at times. Eventually i told her that i have feelings for her. She said i would make the perfect partner but there was just something missing. I could tell she just didn't really see me in the same light . Regardless we hooked up and gave it a go. Needless to say it was a huge mistake. It felt forced on her end and i could sense it. She ended it via txt explaining that she tried but couldn't see me more than a friend and that she was upset because i had told her we could not be friends. I was so upset it made turned me into a mess for the next couple of days. So i did what i do every relationship that fails. Cut them off completely and avoid all contact. 1 month later she was in a relationship with another guy which was the final nail in the coffin for me.

 

 

Fast forward 18 months. Alot has changed for myself. I gave up on women and focused on myself and my career in Body-building. I am now on my way to become a competitive bodybuilder and what i have done in that time as been nothing short of amazing. I am truly happy with myself! I never even thought about this girl the entire time.

 

I have started to now start to market myself on social media where as before i didn't. She was very quick to comment and follow my progress (she was also a fitness fanatic). As fate would have it i bumbed into her recently for the first time since everything took place ....

 

It seems like whilst things have gone very well for myself, the same can not be said for her. Essentially the guy she started dating played her. He was very controlling, made her give up her career in fitness and put on weight with an unhealthy lifestyle and then left her. (This seems to be a trend for her as her past relationships were much the same with controlling guys). I have already heard about this through the grape vine but didn't care. Only now is she trying to reclaim her life back. She couldn't believe how much i had changed though, constantly commenting on my physique and how good i look etc and was interested to hear what i had been up to. I feel as though i projected myself exactly the way i wanted to. It was a good catch up and its left me now wanting more.

 

The encounter though has left me with old feelings. I know why she wasn't into to me. She seems to be one of those people who are drawn towards those possessive types and i am quite simply more of a caring person. She told one of the girls i was simply ''too sweet for her''.

 

If you have read this far then here is my question to you: I am stuck on thinking about her once again. So much has changed i feel as though im a different person. I know i shouldn't but im forcing myself from not messaging her asking to catch up because i know she would say yes but i know that perhaps the same scenario might occur. Do you think its possible that somebody could change their feelings towards someone after all the change that has happened? Do you think she might somehow regret her decision?

 

I know im lowering myself to this one person but i cannot explain how much i am into her. just seeing her has brought up these old feelings!

 

Any advice would be appreciated!

[Cephalopod]

Move on.

 

She has made it clear that she will never be into you. There are six billion people on this planet, half of them women. Surely you can find a woman who would desire you and want to make you happy.

[Erik30]

You could try, but there's a big chance she only wants to be friends or she'll do the same thing again and dump you once she realizes you're still the same guy underneath.

[d0nnivain]

I agree that she friend-zoned you & may not be able to see the changes. You won't know unless you try but since her rejection had such a devastating effect on you last time, is it really worth the risk?

[LostOnes05]

Keep doing your thing bro! I've made the mistake of trying to give my all to women trying to help them (caring guy just like you), only to have them leave anyway. Don't let her distract you because in the end you'll have to kick yourself twice!!