Chronotrgr Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Hi guys, I've been no contact no contract for a while now, in the beginning I was pretty pissed off, I dwelled on a lot of things she had said and done, the pain of thinking like this actually outweighed the pain of the loss of the relationship it self, living in bitterness, resentment, holding grudges, on the face of it, it sounds like an unbearable reality of it's own. In the last week or so I have made a solid attempt at forgiveness, not for her sake of course but for mine, I'm not completely there yet, it's going to take some time but just letting things go gradually is making a huge leap in my recovery for me. I love her and I miss her, the only pain I wish to feel now is the pain of knowing that but moving on regardless. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 you don't have to forgive.. some things we can't... but you need to forget!! Just force it behind you. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 Try to be indifferent. Link to post Share on other sites
Melrapuo Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 Forgiveness is a great thing. But make sure you forgive yourself as well. As someone who has been left for someone else and possibly cheated on, I held on to a lot of resentment and anger towards my ex. At the same time, though, I didn't recognize how much I hated myself for allowing it to happen, or not being aware of what was really going on around me. It took me a long time for me to realize I was resenting my actions, too. Nobody is perfect. That goes for both your ex and you. Just keep that in mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Gretel Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 Forgiveness is the only way to ever really move on. It may be very hard or even seem impossible at times, but I really believe it is the greatest gift you can give yourself. It is also a wonderful gift to the other person you loved, as I can imagine she didn't enjoy hurting you. Someday that forgiveness could be a great thing to her. Sometimes when things don't work out it is for a greater reason than what we can see in the moment. Hang in there and have faith. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 The fact that you're trying says so much about who you are. Forgiveness is for ourselves most of all and it takes time to truly get there but it is possible. Keep up the great work. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chronotrgr Posted December 17, 2015 Author Share Posted December 17, 2015 Thanks for the support guys, I appreciate it I'm not naive in thinking forgiving her is going to be straight forward, it's not, there's a lot of things to go over and process, I feel happier in myself just knowing that I'm trying, but at the same time, for a moment at least as I sit back and I think of the things individually that I'm forgiving, its like I'm reliving the pain all over again, but I think facing it head on in this way helps me because I let out my pain at the same time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 Thanks for the support guys, I appreciate it I'm not naive in thinking forgiving her is going to be straight forward, it's not, there's a lot of things to go over and process, I feel happier in myself just knowing that I'm trying, but at the same time, for a moment at least as I sit back and I think of the things individually that I'm forgiving, its like I'm reliving the pain all over again, but I think facing it head on in this way helps me because I let out my pain at the same time. And THAT'S how you do it! Good man Link to post Share on other sites
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