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Strange Relationship


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I have been in a relationship for four years now with an amazing girl, we are very happy but there is an issue with her past that I am finding it hard to cope with.

 

Just before we got together and when she was single she had a strange relationship with a married work colleague. It involves lots of Sexting and meeting up in their cars for oral sex. They never went out for dinner or drinks or anything, just meeting in car parks etc to perform the acts. After she handed her notice in at work they ended up having sex twice, but since she left there has apparently been no further contact.

 

What am I to make of that sort of relationship?

Edited by Michael2010
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She did not have a BF

 

 

She did not want to be practice abstinence for

 

 

She was horny

 

 

She had a FB which I do not approve of though many of today's younger generations do

 

 

My problem is that she made her self an OW and was in an affair. Past behavior is an indicator of future behavior. She had no problem being an OW and her past shows that she does not respect marriage and will have no problem being a WW in her future.

 

 

I think you fear this as well because this is why you posted here.

 

 

How did you find out that she was a OW?

 

 

Tell your GF about your fears.

Edited by road
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You can make of this :

 

That she has low morals

That she's cheap

That cheating is something she happily participated in

That she could well do it again

That casual sex is no big deal to her

That she didn't give a damn about his wife

 

 

......you get my point

 

And if she said all this in a matter of fact way... then she really has no regret or remorse.

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That it was her past

That irs not really your business per se

That unless you want her to judge you for any skeletons, then accept her for who she is TODAY

That weve all made horrible choices in our lives but we can learn, change, grow

That she didn't have to tell you but confided her misdeeds

That you can talk to HER about your conerns

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What am I to make of that sort of relationship?

 

That she had no problem screwing around with a married man whom she worked with.

 

So that being said, why do you bring it up? Are you suspecting she is not so amazing after all? Or maybe amazing in cobbing some other coworker's knob currently?

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It was over 4 years ago, it was a different time. I doubt she is proud of where her head was at back then. We make mistakes, we learn from them, we move on. Making one poor choice doesn't dictate future poor behavior. Most of us do grow up, mature, move forward.....onward and upward to better things.

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You could ask her views on cheating....... make it clear that it's a dealbreaker for you.....4 years isn't decades ago but it depends on how old she was then. It depends on her overall view of sex.... is she the type to give it up easily.

 

If I had intentions of marrying her.. I'd want to know what went through her mind when she did it.... did she think it was fine as long as they didn't get caught.....now before everyone says it's her past ....she told you about it, so you have the right to ask more questions if you want answers..... if she didn't want you to know.. she wouldn't have mentioned it. So there is some honesty there.

 

If the 4 years with her have run smoothly and you trust her.....just ensure that you're on the same page as far as fidelity is concerned.

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