Michael2010 Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 (edited) I have been in a relationship for four years now with an amazing girl, we are very happy but there is an issue with her past that I am finding it hard to cope with. Just before we got together and when she was single she had a strange relationship with a married work colleague. It involves lots of Sexting and meeting up in their cars for oral sex. They never went out for dinner or drinks or anything, just meeting in car parks etc to perform the acts. After she handed her notice in at work they ended up having sex twice, but since she left there has apparently been no further contact. What am I to make of that sort of relationship? Edited December 17, 2015 by Michael2010 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 (edited) She did not have a BF She did not want to be practice abstinence for She was horny She had a FB which I do not approve of though many of today's younger generations do My problem is that she made her self an OW and was in an affair. Past behavior is an indicator of future behavior. She had no problem being an OW and her past shows that she does not respect marriage and will have no problem being a WW in her future. I think you fear this as well because this is why you posted here. How did you find out that she was a OW? Tell your GF about your fears. Edited December 17, 2015 by road Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 You can make of this : That she has low morals That she's cheap That cheating is something she happily participated in That she could well do it again That casual sex is no big deal to her That she didn't give a damn about his wife ......you get my point And if she said all this in a matter of fact way... then she really has no regret or remorse. Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 That it was her past That irs not really your business per se That unless you want her to judge you for any skeletons, then accept her for who she is TODAY That weve all made horrible choices in our lives but we can learn, change, grow That she didn't have to tell you but confided her misdeeds That you can talk to HER about your conerns Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 What am I to make of that sort of relationship? That she had no problem screwing around with a married man whom she worked with. So that being said, why do you bring it up? Are you suspecting she is not so amazing after all? Or maybe amazing in cobbing some other coworker's knob currently? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 It was over 4 years ago, it was a different time. I doubt she is proud of where her head was at back then. We make mistakes, we learn from them, we move on. Making one poor choice doesn't dictate future poor behavior. Most of us do grow up, mature, move forward.....onward and upward to better things. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 You could ask her views on cheating....... make it clear that it's a dealbreaker for you.....4 years isn't decades ago but it depends on how old she was then. It depends on her overall view of sex.... is she the type to give it up easily. If I had intentions of marrying her.. I'd want to know what went through her mind when she did it.... did she think it was fine as long as they didn't get caught.....now before everyone says it's her past ....she told you about it, so you have the right to ask more questions if you want answers..... if she didn't want you to know.. she wouldn't have mentioned it. So there is some honesty there. If the 4 years with her have run smoothly and you trust her.....just ensure that you're on the same page as far as fidelity is concerned. Link to post Share on other sites
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