Cutting Yourself........

[Bubberfly]

I know this is kind of an old thread and OP might not be able to read this but I feel compelled to say something.

 

I'm writing this as a past cutter. Here's my experience with it. I started cutting when I was 8. It was not until I was 19 that I was able to quit. I am 31 now and from 19 to now I've had a few flare-ups (maybe 4-5 times in those years).

My family NEVER supported me. They found out about it, and then chose to ignore it. That was just how it was. I learned to quit all on my own.

 

Self harm is NOT unusual, it comes in many forms and for many reasons, so PLEASE never feel like you are alone. You aren't! It IS however, considered taboo, it makes many people feel very uncomfortable and how most people cope with this is ignoring the self-harm, blaming the self-harmer or making them feel like there is something "wrong" with them. There is nothing wrong with you, only with how you are coping with stress and hardships.

 

Many people don't know that self-harm can become an addiction. Much like a smoker, it is hard to quit and once you are able to, sometimes YEARS later, the urge to smoke can come back during stressful times.

 

I'm going to give you some coping mechanisms that have helped me through the years. You can try them, see if they work. I also have to add I use these for anxiety attacks as well (which in my opinion were always related to self-harm urges)

 

*You mentioned seeing a therapist. If your parents are willing to keep supporting this, keep going. If you EVER feel like your therapist is not helping or listening to you, find a new one. Do not feel guilty about this. I had to go through quite a few therapists before I found a good one.

 

*I kept a journal. EVERY single bad thought, I wrote down. I stopped caring if people read it. I wrote whatever I was feeling at any given time.

 

*Breathing. The urge to cut can come during high stress times. It can also come when you are feeling bored. Once you cut, the endorphins are triggered. If you are able to control your breathing and slow your heart rate down, the urge can go away. This is beneficial if you are in class and the urge comes. Just start counting in your head and breathe slowly.

 

*Exercise. Are you getting any? Besides school mandated? Something that helped me, as stupid as it sounds was jumping jacks (any exercise that will get your heart rate up). The urge would come and I would do jumping jacks until I was too exhausted. The exercise also gives you endorphins (which is replacing the endorphins you are receiving from the cutting).

 

*Avoid triggers. This means, don't look at photos, movies, websites or anything that includes any sort of self-harm or suicide ideation. This include friends/other students you know who may self-harm as well. No comparing scars or wounds.

 

*Self care. Love yourself. If you have a wound, treat it well. Keep it clean, put a band-aid on it, kiss it better. Even if you slip up, forgive yourself and promise yourself you won't do it again. If you slip up again, forgive yourself again.

 

Please OP, don't feel alone in this, I know you're in a difficult situation. It WILL pass. You'll have good days again. It's not an easy thing to work through but there are many support sites you can go to. Many books you can read, and if you ask around, many people in your life who are willing to listen.

I hope you keep us updated on your progress.