Yes/No/maybe. I just need an idea.

[WhiskeyJack]

So basically I need help determining if my guy friend likes me or not.

 

I'll start right off by saying I have told him that I like him. He never said he didn't like me, or that he did. His response was a "if we date and break up we wouldn't be friends anymore." type of speech. That was a month ago.

 

Background: We work for the same company, used to be different buildings but it will be the same building next week. We've known each other since September, and had sex the first night we hung out. Bad I know, but alcohol and no regrets. We have have increased the amount of time we spend together over the months, where I'm hanging out with him at least 3 times a week now. He also has full custody of 2 children. I have met them and hang out with them everytime I'm over.

 

Alright so. Like I said, I can't tell if he likes me as just a friend or more. Cause I'm an idiot and figure out **** like this way after the fact. Here's some things I've noticed.

 

-We have been hanging out a lot more frequently lately. And they all involve activities with his kids. Playing videos games, board games, and going out all four of us to run errands/eat out.

 

-He seems to find any possible reason at work to be around me. And when we first started hanging out he barely acknowledged me at work, now he's going on about stuff at his house that only someone he's had there would know about in front of coworkers to me, he'll tell jokes at work and immediately look at me, if I'm walking by at work and I glance at him he's always looking at me.

 

-When we're at his place and talking he maintains a ridiculous amount of eye contact. And always cooks me food or bakes me things. Body language seems on point for liking me according to the Internet, but that could just be rubbish.

 

-He tells me about things in his personal life that are... Not news to everyone. But this just be because he's comfortable with me.

 

But yeah, there's plenty more things but I don't want this to get too long.

 

I feel like I need to figure this out soon so I can bring it up to him. Especially since on a little gathering with them his daughter said "I want you to marry my dad, I want you to be my step mom."

 

If he doesn't like me that way I need to back away so his child doesn't get too attached to me, as I'm sure if he gets a new girlfriend it'll be a disaster.

 

So yeah thoughts?* I know "just ask him". But if it's a "work in progress" I don't want to screw it up by being demanding. He told me once he wouldn't date someone unless he knew 100% it was going to work.

[basil67]

You raise the issue with him by discussing your concern over what his daughter said. Talk about not wanting her to get attached if there's no romantic future.

[WhiskeyJack]

Thats actually a great idea. Thanks so much I hadn't thought of that.

[preraph]

Good idea above.

 

But I have to say, you told him you liked him and he gave you a reason not to date. And then he hasn't asked you on a date. Just hanging out. You say work is why the hesitancy, but the truth is you've both already thrown that caution to the wind and slept together early on, so the deed is done. If he wanted to then date you, I think he'd have done that. I mean, his outlook is basically "If I date you, then I have to stop being friends," which means he doesn't envision it going well or him wanting to do it long. Just sayin'.