My sister and parents are feuding but I want to see my 2 year old nephew? ?

[Tallgirl91]

For reasons I'm not sure of... My sister and her fiancé haven't talked to my parents in 6 months. My dad says it's because my mom has stopped helping my sister financially. Recently, I got a facebook message from my sister's fiancé asking me if I would like to be flown down to see my nephew. He said that he would pay for my plane ticket. My nephew lives rather far and I'm still in college and haven't been able to see him in over a year. My parents think that my sister's fiancé offered to fly me down to spite my mom who hasn't seen my nephew in over a year as well. I really want to see my nephew and want to be a apart of his life but my dad doesn't want me to go. I feel so conflicted because this situation is so messy right now. What should I do?

[TunaCat]

Do you want to see your nephew?

 

If you do, then who cares what your parents think. Who cares why there's an apparent rift between your parents and your sister & her fiance.

 

Accept the offer from your sister's fiance and GO see your nephew.

 

If your parents are still paying for school/other expenses, I can see what your quandry is, but if it were me, I'd go see my nephew regardless of what my parents said.

[basil67]

I'm wary about this. It sounds like your sister is 'expecting' support from your parents. But why would they support her if she's old enough to be engaged and have a baby? I can't help but wonder if your sister has some entitlement issues going on.

 

And if they 'need' your parent's financial support, they should not be spending money on an air ticket for you.

[Cherryz]

If this is the case your sister should be thankful for the help they give her and

not mad that they stopped. Your parents have no obligation with her anymore.

She should be mad at herself and her self if its not ok financially.

 

Cause shes grown woman with baby and a grown man that can even pay tickets and stuff for others to come and see their nephew.

Beside what i find weird is why is it his fiance that ask you to come and want to pay.

Hes nothing yours and this is not much his business.

Why is not your sister asking you.

 

If the fiance is asking it can be a way for drama. Cause he have no business to

put his nose in this at first place.

But its up to you. If you want to see your nephew you can go.

Or just skype with him and talk with him till you can pay and go yourself.

 

 

Ps: how old are you?

[whichwayisup]

For reasons I'm not sure of... My sister and her fiancé haven't talked to my parents in 6 months. My dad says it's because my mom has stopped helping my sister financially. Recently, I got a facebook message from my sister's fiancé asking me if I would like to be flown down to see my nephew. He said that he would pay for my plane ticket. My nephew lives rather far and I'm still in college and haven't been able to see him in over a year. My parents think that my sister's fiancé offered to fly me down to spite my mom who hasn't seen my nephew in over a year as well. I really want to see my nephew and want to be a apart of his life but my dad doesn't want me to go. I feel so conflicted because this situation is so messy right now. What should I do?

 

Go! This is YOUR sister and nephew. The fight between your sis and your parents have nothing to do with you and neither should be putting you in the middle or asking you to take sides.

[Tayla]

Grandparents do deserve to see their grandkids even if the mom/dad are having differences with your parents. Its what mature adults learn to separate and put the child first. My heart goes out to your parents. Its their kin too.

 

Since you are entering the early adulthood years and quite fond of your nephew, be open with your family. Discuss and listen . You will or should have empathy for each side. And unlike others here, your parents do deserve a level of regard. Dismissing them entirely is unkind.

 

Its rather generous of your future bro in law to offer a flight there. If you want, pay your own way and set the standard for being independent. This then can be a way to be responsible for your decision to be in your nephews life.

 

Based on some other posts, open communication and listening is something that isn't actively promoted in this particular family .Practice and lead by example. Theres no time like the present to get everyone on the same page. This nephew is worth everyone's concessions .

[Tallgirl91]

If this is the case your sister should be thankful for the help they give her and

not mad that they stopped. Your parents have no obligation with her anymore.

She should be mad at herself and her self if its not ok financially.

 

Cause shes grown woman with baby and a grown man that can even pay tickets and stuff for others to come and see their nephew.

Beside what i find weird is why is it his fiance that ask you to come and want to pay.

Hes nothing yours and this is not much his business.

Why is not your sister asking you.

 

If the fiance is asking it can be a way for drama. Cause he have no business to

put his nose in this at first place.

But its up to you. If you want to see your nephew you can go.

Or just skype with him and talk with him till you can pay and go yourself.

 

 

Ps: how old are you?

He told me that he wants to surprise my sister with my visit. Their financial situation is a bit complex, he makes a lot of money as an engineer but also has a lot of expenses and my sister only recently started working.

[CC12]

My parents think that my sister's fiancé offered to fly me down to spite my mom who hasn't seen my nephew in over a year as well. I really want to see my nephew and want to be a apart of his life but my dad doesn't want me to go.

 

Your parents are placing you in the middle of their drama with your sister, and that's wrong of them. They shouldn't be trying to make you feel guilty about accepting the offer. They should stay out of it unless they feel that you'd be in danger there or something.

 

Do you feel as though your sister and her fiance are trying to spite your mother by doing this? Obviously you know them better than I do, but inviting you to visit seems like a weird way to stick it your mom. If they wanted to spite her, there are better, easier (and cheaper!) ways to do that.

 

He told me that he wants to surprise my sister with my visit.

 

I'm glad you mentioned this. That seems even less like an evil plan to spite your mom, and more like a sweet gesture and a thoughtful way to surprise your sister.

 

You should accept the invitation.