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Not sure if I want to propose


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ShatteredLady

Do you realize how horrible this.....

 

"Maybe I need to tell her that for me to propose we need a better sex life. We have sex once a week at most, and its always me on top. She doesn't like trying new things. She really wants to be married so maybe she'll get more adventurous. She doesn't want to be dumped so she'd probably do anything."

 

......makes you sound?

 

 

She was orphaned as a child. That effects a person as you've noted in some ways. She's the mother of a baby, of course she wants you to stay together & be a proper family.

 

Are you sure that you're emotionally ready to marry? Do you think you ever will be? It's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's important to study yourself & be honest with those you bring into your life.

 

From the things you've said here....& the WAY you've said things makes me worry that this lovely lady (you list great things about her!) is being set-up for a life of misery if she stays with you.

 

You are planning to ABUSE her a few times a year!! Until you've experience infidelity you don't realize what crippling abuse it is. Some psychologists consider it 2nd to loosing a child! :sick:

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  • 2 weeks later...

This is all very sad. People who have suffered traumas such as abuse or loss of parents will end up with predators if they don't resolve their issues. Sounds like your girlfriend picked someone very selfish and cruel due to her unresolved trauma.

 

Don't marry this woman. Tell her the truth about your feelings and work out a custody agreement. I wish that more women who wanted to get married would be careful about having kids with someone who doesn't love them.

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Maybe I need to tell her that for me to propose we need a better sex life. We have sex once a week at most, and its always me on top. She doesn't like trying new things. She really wants to be married so maybe she'll get more adventurous. She doesn't want to be dumped so she'd probably do anything.

 

I am telling you now, the sex life is not going to change for the better. Also, if you talk to her about it, all you will get is negotiated desire. It will never be genuine and you will never be satisfied. If there is any improvement, it will only be temporary; the time for you to agree to a marriage your clearly do not want and be locked down.

 

You don't want to get married? Don't do it. Despite the pressure or shaming, do what is best for YOU. Be selfish; be heartless if you have to.

 

The only thing I have to add is that the kid didn't ask to be born, so take care of Him/Her to the best of you ability.

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