Asdrual Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Me and my Girlfriend, have been in a serious relationship for a year and three months. Last halloween night,I ended the relationship, it was a hotheaded decision and i regret my decision till this day. I am an industrial designer and lately i have been under a lot stress sin i am doing my thesis this stress unfortunately spilled over into our relationship. I worked my hardest to produce a very good thesis and to make time to spend time with my girlfriend, yet it was not enough and that was the reason of our fight time that i had no time that i was too concentrated on my thesis and that i was not flexible. After the breakup i regretted my decision but i did not want to go after her and seem very desperate. the day after we broke up she sent me an instagram post and i tried not to respond but my emotion got the best of me and we began sending posts for like two weeks. On sunday the 14 she called me and we talked she wanted to know how i was doing we talked and i apologised to her and manifested that i wanted to try and fix things, she then told me that after the end of the semester she would be going to spend time with her stepfather in the coast and that she would return on the 23 of December and that we would not be in town until the 5 or 6 o January of 2016 she also said that she had stop thinking of me , I obviously was shocked by this and ended the conversation she called back later that night saying that she did not mean that way that she had her mind occupied on other things and she was pesing her feeling untl the end of the semester. The next two weeks we began seeing each other at first it was weird but then things got better and we enjoied our time together. I had to present my thesis and passed that was when things changed she she had her birthday on the 29 and she went out on the 27 with friends she said it was better if i did not go becuase it would cause problems. I accepted and said i wanted to invite her to eat on monday she blew me off saying she when with a friend to see movie, the next day i was able to see her and gave her a letter expressing my emotions and telling her that i love her she said she has under a lot of stress and did not want to read it because she was not in the right mindset. She left on 3 of december and we talked very casually she did not mention the letter at all. last Monday the7 th I began being ignoring her and she reacted she said she did not want to see me like hata and that i am still very important to her the longest relationship standing and that she does not want to see mt hurt; she said she did not read the letter and that she will when she return home. She wants time to re find herself. Today I decided to deactivate my facebook because it just too tempting not to go on her wall she post pictures and she is fine i am her heart broken so i decided to start my detachment process. To be honest i don't thinks she misses me and i don't know if it's too late to use the No Contact rule to try and get her back yet i look at what has happened and i feel she is just has me there in standby and it angers me because i still have feelings for her what about those did she simply not feeling it or what. How long should i Go with no concat or will this just blow my chance with her should go 2 weeks 3 weeks and simply reappear should reaper for christmas?? help Any advice will be deeply appreciated do i have a shot of getting her back ???. Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Congratulations on your thesis, you must be very proud. As for your ex, it is hard to tell how she feels at the moment. Giving her time and space with no contact at all will be the best way to find that out for sure. She needs to understand what it is like without you in her life anymore. No contact will send a clear message that you are not on standby, and if she doesn't want to lose you then she has to do something about it. If she does contact you when she is back, then you need to be very clear that you are not interested in being friends, it is a relationship or nothing. No games, straight to the point, but only if she initiates contact first. This really needs to come from her. If you don't want to be just friends then no contact will also help you move on in the long run. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 No contact is not a manipulation tool to get someone to do what you want. It is for you gaining space and time so that your heart and mind can heal over the hurt of being rejected by them. she's told you: she said that she does not know and need space to re find her self. She in no way is giving you any indication that she wants to get back with you. She's ignoring your communiques. I think that you need to adjust your focus away from what you want onto what is falling out plainly in front of you--she's not interested. Go no contact so that you can move on from this, not to manipulate her. Link to post Share on other sites
BonerFide Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 No, it is not too late, but do it for the right reasons and do it 100% (so no 'Merry Christmas', who cares if her Christmas is merry or not?) If you're meant to be together there's no time limit on that, but it sounds like you're not and you need to move on for YOU and give yourself a chance at life without her, not be actively trying to get her back when it sounds like she doesn't want you back right now anyway. It's always the right idea to move on instead of staying hung up on someone. If you move on and they come back, you'll have enough distance and perspective to figure out if it will really work. If they don't, it won't matter: because you've moved on. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Personally.. You've said your piece. If she wants to talk(don't wait) she'll reach out.. I think she was looking for a way out,by what you wrote though. Fighting too much does not sound stable to me. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 If you want to reconcile you have to talk to each other. You will both really have to open up & connect deeply. At present you two seem much better at ignoring each other rather than risking & committing. If you can't talk -- souls bared kind of stuff -- then no you don't have a chance & you should implement genuine NC so you can heal. That means you take each other off social media etc. Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 "I Am willing to go back being friends but only to restart our relationship to build a stronger one." Zero chance of getting her back by doing that. You need to stop talking to her, go NC ( read the guides here) and heal. Link to post Share on other sites
nutter78 Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 Talk to her. Tell her how you feel, be genuine and honest and open. Link to post Share on other sites
nutter78 Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 I agree. You need to talk to her completely and honestly, face to face. If she doesn't want what you want then at least you know and can move on and find someone you can have that relationship with. Link to post Share on other sites
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