Out of the dark I have come !

[loveiswar101]

Hi all, in advance I would like to thank all for whoever reads this and for any comments.

 

After many months of despair after my last gf (3 years) I’ve finally comes to terms that us separating was by far the best decision for me, as looking back the red flags were big and I was blind. I really do not obsess over her at all anymore and lucky if she is in my thoughts once a day now. More when you see something or song etc..no biggie.

 

Anyhow with that I have now got back on the horse as they say and started to try a date again. I’m quite shy, but have realised I’ve got to put that to one side and put myself out there.

 

So, I’m mid-forties and with friends advice went on Tinder (please don’t judge) being older I’ve come to realise too that the older generation on Tinder are there to generally to actually meet people and not there for the one night stands.

After a few dates and no real connections I started chatting to a lady (single, separated a year ago ish, 3 young kids), every day she messages and we chat, this has now been going on for close to 2 months. She is witty, smart and fun it seems, we went on first date, lunch, front bar and chatted for 5 hours so before she had to go. It was fun, she messages saying he had fun, I had fun.

 

Anyhow still messaging and finally got her on another date last week (its hard as single mom and finds it hard to organise her children to go out), took her out for dinner, again another good time, she said she had fun again. But this is where I’m now getting a bit “confused” shall we say to what to do?

 

Rundown:

She messages me everyday up to me writing this (around 8 weeks now). After initial contact went on first date 3 weeks later, messaging since, talks to me about her girls, life etc. 4 weeks after that date managed to take her out to dinner, she has mention she is very protective of herself and her girls, yet she asked me to pick her up, invited me in, offered beer while she finished getting ready (kids were out), even brought me a small present (book she thought id like),we went out and had great night. Only thing was after dropping her off she was out of car in flash, nerves on her behalf I don’t know, whatever, I was definitely polite and not chasing anything.

 

My issue or conundrum I have is “Where Do I Go from Here?”

 

This lady in my eyes is stunning looking, fun, witty and on the 2 dates we have had, we have had fun.

 

I really do not want to be wasting my time but am very drawn to her and in one way would to take it further.

 

How can put this across to her without sounding needy? Or Do I look at going the long game here and see if it pans out?

 

Cheers

[PegNosePete]

2 dates in 8 weeks?

 

Much as it seems she likes you, it seems like she simply doesn't have time for a relationship.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

Just be honest and tell her what you are looking for in a relationship, that is what you are looking for after all. If she has a problem with that then she isn't a good match for you.

 

Given the amount of time you have invested thus far, it makes sense to see what she is looking for as well. You might find out you want completely different things out of this, and if that is the case you will know not to waste anymore time, as disappointing at that may be. On the other hand, it might also help move things forward.

 

You won't know until you ask.

 

Good luck!