Jenstar Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Last night, after a few drinks, I let the “I love you” drop from my mouth to my boyfriend of 10 months. I must admit that I’m not sure what love is. Sometimes I think I might love him, other times I don’t. It was met with a – “do you?!” I then promptly asked him if he loved me. And he said no. After having children and experiencing the intense love with them, love was taken to a new high. He found it difficult to think that he could feel as much love as the feeling he has for his children. Being a mum also, I realise that the love of your children is unsurpassable, however I also know that it’s a different kind of love to that which you experience with a partner. Love baffles me still, and I don't know if I truly love him either. He is wonderful to me, and I am happy with absolutely everything in our lives. We are really happy and we both want to continue on our path together. Am I putting too much emphasis on words? Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Yes you are but you are also rushing things. Steady up a bit. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Maybe but words are powerful. You both have experienced many kinds of love. While I don't have kids I would hope that the love one feels for children is different from romantic love you have for a partner. Perhaps your guy is looking for something that feels more unconditional which can't exist with a partner but does exist with your off-spring. I would dig deeper about what he thinks he feels. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jenstar Posted December 21, 2015 Author Share Posted December 21, 2015 Thanks Toodaloo and d0nnivain, Yes, I believe he expects love to be the same that you share with your children. And I guess love is subjective, so can be interpreted differently by each individual. I'm interested to hear why Toodaloo thinks I'm rushing things and that I should steady up. We've both taken things very slowly, and are enjoying the journey. Link to post Share on other sites
Glitters Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 It's likely that you both are guarded because of past hurts. You sound comfortable and at peace where you both are but some passion is needed to keep it going. Lack of passion is not good. Link to post Share on other sites
dobielover Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 10 months is not rushing things. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I don't think 10 months is rushing things. I think if I wasn't feeling it at that stage then likely I never would. It does seem like he has attached a whole new level to love though and love for children is far different to love for a partner. I have no children myself but my love for my niece is massively different. Maybe he sees love 'logically' in that there needs to be an 'up' from the love he now has for his children. Or perhaps he doesn't necessarily express love in words. It's not a book I have read s yet but perhaps you have different love languages. I have seen posted on here there is a very good book on the subject but I can't remember who it's by not the exact title. Maybe someone who knows of it can help? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Yeah, I'm in the same boat as people saying 10 months definitely isn't rushing things, and if two adults dating for 10 months aren't in love yet, it probably isn't going to happen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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