Dumped Twice By The Same Girl..

[the_stoic]

Hi folks!

 

I see a lot of support on this forum and so am hoping some of you would help me with my situation.

 

i am in love with my ex gf since 2006. For the first 4 years she never made herself fully committed to the relationship owing to the fact that her family would have never accepted me and there was no possibility of getting married (different caste).

 

She broke up with me in 2010 and i moved on in life. It was pretty tough for me and took almost 6 months to get over it. But since i had done no wrong and had no guilt it was easier for me. Since she was my one true love i could never forget her and any attempts to get together with any girl proved futile. After a good 3 years she came back into my life again and apologized for her actions in the past. She said she had seen a lot of marriages failing around and had understood the importance of having a loving partner. I willingly took her back then.

 

It was a dream come true for me. The first few months were like a honeymoon period but then the problems started. I had just graduated and got a job and moved to a new city. She was hundreds of miles away. Somehow the stress from the job combined with my bouts of depression ensured that i couldn't give my 100% to the relationship. Slowly and slowly it started losing its charm. We did meet once in a couple of months and since i was so much into her i never thought that she would ever think of leaving me. My expressions of love had become sporadic.

 

Towards the last few months things become too nasty. I was too bogged down by my own problems and would at times forget to call her or message her for days (i always used to respond though). Arguements had become was too frequent. She kept slipping away but never clearly indicated it. I was scheduled to go in for a surgery in october and by that time she had become way too cold. Come november and she broke the news to me that she had moved on and had a new bfrnd. I was devastated to say the least.

 

I begged pleaded cried for almost a month but to no avail. I tried apologizing for my mistakes and promising to become a calmer person but she wasn't willing to listen. She had problems with my negative attitude towards life and told me that it had started depressing her as well. She said she didn't see any furture with a man like me. Meanwhile i found out that her current bfrnd was someone who had been her frnd for close to a year now. When i confronted her on this she threatened me and warned me to stop stalking her. That was the last that she ever talked to me and blocked me on every possible line of communication.

 

I know i had erred and made mistakes. Some were my own doing and some circumstantial. I have truly loved her all these 9 years and its tough to see her give up on me and go. I don't see any hope and i just wish i could get the last chance to prove to her that i can get back to being better and loving her the way she had always wanted me to do.

 

Please suggest.

[NopeNah]

Too much distance for a long term relationship IMO.

[the_stoic]

any suggestions on what to do? I really love this girl and am willing to go to any extent to get her back

[bubbaganoosh]

As soon as she said the word "stalking", it should tell you that your cruising for trouble.

 

Look. She moved on. Doesn't matter the reasons, you have to accept the fact that it's over and it's time to move on. Hard as it is to say, there's nothing there anymore so get yourself squared away and sooner or later another lady will come along but do yourself a favor and keep away from her and avoid trouble.

[mightycpa]

You ****ed up. What you should have done with the time you had without her was to go learn how to be a good boyfriend, how to be the perfect mate. You should have learned how to show love, how to get along, how to keep a woman. But you didn't. You focused on the trees instead of the forest.

 

Now you've been given another chance. You need to be with other women, to learn from them, to figure out how it's done. You need to get ready now, so that you'll be prepared when your next chance comes. It doesn't matter if you lose these other women over stupid mistakes. You just need to make all of your mistakes with them and learn, so that you're ready when the time comes.

 

Don't be stupid. You've swung twice and missed. Three strikes and you're out. Look at the long term, and act according to your own best interest.

[the_stoic]

Is there no chance for her to come back? I mean she knows how much i love her and how i have been loyal to her through all these 9 years even when she wasn't there.. I was too bogged down by my own negativity to handle things as they should have been handled.