Non-virgin gf making me wait for 3+ months

[GingerVixen]

Not sure if this is the normal time frame a non-virgin (and not religious either) gf would make you wait for sex.

 

I don't want to sound rude but I've actually try to be romantic by adding a couple candles in my house and lovely stuff (this was prepared hours before our date; she would be visiting my house). I thought that's what girls love.

But then as we were kissing deeply, she still declines; for yet the 2nd time. I admit to getting somewhat irritated and then she immediately was like ''Oh so that's why you tried being romantic'' (yes, she was pissed off) asked to be taken home.

 

Anyway I've tried calling to apologize but she won't answer. I'm feeling kind of frustrated at the same time: I'm already 24 and it's been 2 years since getting my Bachelor's. Makes me wonder if she even finds me attractive or I just suck at getting a girl turn on. I followed the advice one of my friends gave to me about decorating my room and letting it flow naturally.

 

No offense, but are you really 24 or 14??

 

So know you want a girl to delete all her insecurities, or maybe a terrible past in previous relationships, or maybe the fact that she fears having her heart broken because YOU BOUGHT CANDLES?

 

If she is not ready then she is not ready. Respect that if you like her a little bit.

[Blunderstorm]

Well in the end if it doesn't work out, we would have to go our separate ways but I'm not giving up yet.

 

GingerVixen, I'm 24 (will be 25 on March). I understand clearly what you're saying but at some point, things will have to progress. Ok so it doesn't have to be now or within days but some time later on.

 

anika, yes she seems eager while making out.

Rejected Rosebud, well perhaps it's a bit more understandable with a virgin girl because they're nervous about their first time and base on what a friend told me once, it can also be painful for her and she might need some guidance. I would have perhaps be willing to wait longer till she's ready and not mind, providing that she's not religious (waiting till marriage I will not do). I knew finding a virgin girl wasn't too realistic at my age (I admit, when I was younger I thought it would be awesome to be with a virgin and share the moment together; losing it at the same time) but as time passed, I was getting older and had no luck with dates, I just wanted a gf I can have a loving, sexual relationship and I stopped caring about too much about her past.

 

I'm going to start heading to the gym to get sex out of mind. I guess it would be different if I were experienced. I would probably have more self-control over it and wouldn't be wondering what's it like at this age.

Edited December 29, 2015 by Blunderstorm

[Rejected Rosebud]

 

I'm going to start heading to the gym to get sex out of mind. I guess it would be different if I were experienced. I would probably have more self-control over it and wouldn't be wondering what's it like at this age.

 

Thanks for the honest answers!

 

Are you a virgin yourself? I think I understand better! Yes, I can see why it would be very frustrating to feel like "so close ... yet so far away!!" But if you actually really like her, you have to respect that she is coming from a different place than you are. As excited and eager as you are to have a sexual relationship with a girlfriend, she seems to be wary. And even though you are probably innocent of meaningfully pressuring her, you probably are.

 

How close are you? I mean can you talk about uncomfortable things and feel like you trust her - and do you think she can trust you? If you want her to trust you, you need to stop using her past against her for how she acts now.

 

If you have an emotionally close relationship, I think you can tell her how you are feeling about wanting to have a sexual relationship, and that you are really looking forward to it!!! - but you have to just talk about YOURSELF and YOUR feelings and hold yourself back from making any comments about her, her past, etc. Once you have done it though you need to just step back for awhile.

 

I don't think you need to wait around for her just to be "nice" to her - it's more that if you actually like and care for her as a person (not just because she's the closest you've gotten to having sex!!) you would be dumb to wreck it all by being overeager and risking her thinking that you mostly just want to get busy!

[Blunderstorm]

Thank you Rejected Rosebud and yes, I'm still a virgin.

 

How close are you? I mean can you talk about uncomfortable things and feel like you trust her - and do you think she can trust you? If you want her to trust you, you need to stop using her past against her for how she acts now.

That's the only thing I haven't told her about. Would it be good if I mention it? Or do I say it when she's ready for sex?

Edited December 29, 2015 by Blunderstorm

[joystickd]

Three months is the limit. Just end it became she isn't into you. This is not a win win situation. It's just a win on her end and no he is not entitled.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Three months is the limit. Just end it became she isn't into you. This is not a win win situation. It's just a win on her end and no he is not entitled.

 

That is not necessarily true at all. First of all, if she has "issues" around sex, that's no "WIN" for her. This is not a contest with a winner and a loser in any case.

 

They are just mismatched in this sense - she has a past that is defining how she is now, and he is super EXCITED about the prospect of having a sexual relationship at last and is probably putting her off without meaning to. The idea of SEX is forefront in his mind (not a negative OP, just the way it is! ) and she is picking up on that and it's making her feel like protecting herself.

 

Communication is the only thing that is going to make this better - OP if you TRUST her on an emotional level I think you should tell her.

 

Also keep in mind that she MIGHT have some issues that have nothing to do with you, but if you like her you want to give her a safe opening to tell you about them too.

[Shining One]

:eek: Seriously, you are really advising him to "teach her a lesson" by going out and having sex with other girls because she isn't ready or doesn't want to? That is low.

I'm pretty sure salparadise was advising the OP to go out and get laid for the sake of getting sex, not for "revenge". Sex in a relationship is one of the OP's "requirements" and it is not being met. If I'm not meeting a woman's requirements in three months of dating, I fully expect her to drop me and find someone else.

It's not "ludicrous" for people to be exclusive with each other and not having sex. It's common.

This might be another regional thing, but exclusivity discussions usually happen after sex in this area, not before. In any case, this should be a learning experience for the OP. Everyone has the right to set their own perquisites for exclusivity. Speaking for myself only, I've found more success in dating by making sex a requirement before exclusivity is on the table. The OP will have to discover what works best for him.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I'm pretty sure salparadise was advising the OP to go out and get laid for the sake of getting sex, not for "revenge". Sex in a relationship is one of the OP's "requirements" and it is not being met.

Well, the OP is a virgin. His chances of having sex with a girlfriend that he's been with for 3 months, at this point, are probably better than if he just dumps her and goes out looking for it. Evidently he's not one of you guys who just seems to arrive in Poon Town whenever you leave your houses!

 

Anyway, I have said more than one time on this thread that if he doesn't like her enough to hang in there, there is nothing wrong with saying bye because of it. Evidently he likes her.

[joystickd]

That is not necessarily true at all. First of all, if she has "issues" around sex, that's no "WIN" for her. This is not a contest with a winner and a loser in any case.

 

They are just mismatched in this sense - she has a past that is defining how she is now, and he is super EXCITED about the prospect of having a sexual relationship at last and is probably putting her off without meaning to. The idea of SEX is forefront in his mind (not a negative OP, just the way it is! ) and she is picking up on that and it's making her feel like protecting herself.

 

Communication is the only thing that is going to make this better - OP if you TRUST her on an emotional level I think you should tell her.

 

Also keep in mind that she MIGHT have some issues that have nothing to do with you, but if you like her you want to give her a safe opening to tell you about them too.

Relationships are supposed to be win win. I'm just one that believes no man should wait more than 3 months. If it's that much of a problem then as a woman you shouldn't be in a relationship because it's an issue that needs to be handled. That doesn't mean I'm one for immediate sex. I believe in building a strong foundation for a relationship and if you are spending time with each other more than just going on dates then no more than 3 months is reasonable because you are having conversations all the time and building intimacy. If after that time it doesn't happen then end it because no reciprocation is happening. Now if it's just seeing each other only on dates then that is a different scenario. If you really like a person you will make an effort to spend time with them and if you are spending lots of time with this person then there is no need to drag it out beyond 3 months.

 

Plus as a woman if you are doing the things you need to do then dragging it out is not needed

[eye of the storm]

Ill be honest, I have not read every single post in this thread. But, I do want to say, I was put off by the inference that since this girl is not a virgin that she should put out and shut up about it.

 

Just because someone has had sex in the past does not mean that he/she has given up their right to say no or their right to wait.

 

Now this does not mean the person that wants sex has to wait around. They also have the right to decide. Decide to wait or decide to move on.

 

While I do not approve of using sex as a carrot/stick, I also do not approve of using someone's sexual past as a weapon against them.

[Imajerk17]

Well, I am going to preface my answer by saying that this girl has 100 percent the right to hold off on sex and her past history doesn't change that an iota, because I can see my answer being misconstrued otherwise.

 

That said, I think many responses on here missed the mark. It's not about what the woman has a right to do--it is her prerogative to hold off and I think we agree on that; it is instead about where the OP really stands with his girlfriend.

 

OP, if I were in your shoes, I would be very concerned, and not only about your relationship needs not being met. Why doesn't your girlfriend want to have sex with you? The real reasons. I'm wondering how attracted this woman truly is to you, for one thing. At any rate, this doesn't stand well for the relationship. Sex tends to bond people to each other, and that your girlfriend isn't willing to invest this with you is quite disconcerting.

 

I'm just having a tough time imagining a 23-year-old girl wildly attracted to a guy holding off on sex, after 3 months of dating and how many intense make-out sessions in the meanwhile. I am going to draw heat for saying this but I am also not sure about a guy being a landing place for a girl with a rough past and emotional issues. Those scenarios typically don't end well for the guy's heart.

 

Why are you even with this girl in the first place? I read that you are a virgin. Is it because she represents your only chance at a girlfriend? That is a very tough spot to be in.

 

From what I have read so far, I'd advise you to break up with her.

Edited December 30, 2015 by Imajerk17

[salparadise]

:eek: Seriously, you are really advising him to "teach her a lesson" by going out and having sex with other girls because she isn't ready or doesn't want to? That is low.

 

Nope. That would be you putting words in my mouth.

 

I think he needs to do it because this relationship is not going anywhere- not meeting his needs, he's not getting any younger, and he has already demonstrated the kind of dedication that women who are holding off to avoid the hit and quit players would be satisfied with.

 

And, if I were a virgin at 24, three months invested in a girl who has had sex with previous bf's but doesn't want to have sex with me... I'd be thinking enough is enough. He needs to loosen her death grip on his testicles if he wants to live a normal life. A normal life includes sex by most people's definition.

 

It's not "ludicrous" for people to be exclusive with each other and not having sex. It's common.

 

I'd say the opposite. What's common is for people who are in exclusive relationships to be sexually active... assuming we're talking about adults, which age 24 most certainly would be.

 

Distancing himself and dating others while still keeping her on the line would be very weak, IMO.

 

I think it would be perfectly reasonable for him to friendzone her. That's what women do when they want to keep a guy on the line and have sex with others instead of him. This would be quite the affirmative response, imho, assuming he's able to pull it off.

 

I think she may be enjoying the power/control/ego of having him subjugating his most fundamental needs while she give him just enough hope to keep him in pursuit. Frankly I don't know how she can stand it unless she just doesn't find him appealing... in which case, well, he needs to make that paradigm shift you were talking about.

 

 

 

Why is "virginity" even an acceptable reason for you? Do you think that only a virgin girl is allowed to decide for herself when she feels ready to get sexual with a guy?

 

Don't be obtuse. You know the expectation would be different. As a matter of fact, it may be his virginity that make her feel entitled to subjugate him.

 

well, for sure if he thinks like you do, he should break up with her. No girl wants to be with a guy who is angrily planning in advance for her to bang a bad boy who makes her wet.

 

Now there you go putting words in my mouth again. But yea, my opinion is that this one isn't going to work out even if they started having sex today. The energy is all wrong here. She may need a bad boy who makes her knees weak, her panties wet and has the cojones to take what he (and she) wants.

 

She continues to deny OP's masculinity on a daily basis, and I seriously doubt that he's gaining any respect through submissiveness. I think he needs that paradigm shift... to express his male power though assertiveness.

 

He really has only two options... keep waiting an hoping that she'll give him a little taste, or cut his losses and start living life on his own terms.

Edited December 30, 2015 by salparadise

[Rejected Rosebud]

This might be another regional thing, but exclusivity discussions usually happen after sex in this area, not before.

Really? I know women from all over the world (because of Internet forums including this one!!) who are NEVER going to have sex except for when it happens in an exclusive committed relationship. Take my word for it - this is quite normal among many girls.

In any case, this should be a learning experience for the OP. Everyone has the right to set their own perquisites for exclusivity. Speaking for myself only, I've found more success in dating by making sex a requirement before exclusivity is on the table. The OP will have to discover what works best for him.

 

I really can't imagine many women who would go along with sex because it's YOUR "requirement" and then you MIGHT put exclusivity "on the table." I'm sure there are girls like that - if they are actually looking for a relationship, they must get their feelings hurt a great deal. I can understand it if you are in a hookup kind of scene where everybody is just having sex with each other willy-nilly and sometimes a couple will decide to make it official. Women who want to find a solid relationship, though, are unlikely to follow some guy's requirement on this issue. We reserve sex for those we are actually intimate with. I am like that - I tried to do it differently one time and it was disastrous to my self esteem. If you are not casual about sex, you're waiting to feel secure with a guy before you have sex with him.

 

Maybe the gf here learned that the hard way like some of us did.

 

In any case, the OP is obviously not a guy with a "sex before relationship" requirement, so you are just projecting.

[Shining One]

Well, the OP is a virgin. His chances of having sex with a girlfriend that he's been with for 3 months, at this point, are probably better than if he just dumps her and goes out looking for it.

I disagree. He could approach a dozen+ women every night if he were single. The odds of succeeding with that approach are greater than with the woman he's currently with.

Evidently he's not one of you guys who just seems to arrive in Poon Town whenever you leave your houses!

Neither am I. I'm not sure how you to come to some of the conclusions you do.

[road]

Well, I am going to preface my answer by saying that this girl has 100 percent the right to hold off on sex and her past history doesn't change that an iota, because I can see my answer being misconstrued otherwise.

 

That said, I think many responses on here missed the mark. It's not about what the woman has a right to do--it is her prerogative to hold off and I think we agree on that; it is instead about where the OP really stands with his girlfriend.

 

OP, if I were in your shoes, I would be very concerned, and not only about your relationship needs not being met. Why doesn't your girlfriend want to have sex with you? The real reasons. I'm wondering how attracted this woman truly is to you, for one thing. At any rate, this doesn't stand well for the relationship. Sex tends to bond people to each other, and that your girlfriend isn't willing to invest this with you is quite disconcerting.

 

I'm just having a tough time imagining a 23-year-old girl wildly attracted to a guy holding off on sex, after 3 months of dating and how many intense make-out sessions in the meanwhile. I am going to draw heat for saying this but I am also not sure about a guy being a landing place for a girl with a rough past and emotional issues. Those scenarios typically don't end well for the guy's heart.

 

Why are you even with this girl in the first place? I read that you are a virgin. Is it because she represents your only chance at a girlfriend? That is a very tough spot to be in.

 

From what I have read so far, I'd advise you to break up with her.

 

 

Can you imagine how many times her putting out right away only got her burnt for her to smarten up and stop being used, dumped, and hurt, that she finally got smart?

[anika99]

Well, I am going to preface my answer by saying that this girl has 100 percent the right to hold off on sex and her past history doesn't change that an iota, because I can see my answer being misconstrued otherwise.

 

That said, I think many responses on here missed the mark. It's not about what the woman has a right to do--it is her prerogative to hold off and I think we agree on that; it is instead about where the OP really stands with his girlfriend.

 

OP, if I were in your shoes, I would be very concerned, and not only about your relationship needs not being met. Why doesn't your girlfriend want to have sex with you? The real reasons. I'm wondering how attracted this woman truly is to you, for one thing. At any rate, this doesn't stand well for the relationship. Sex tends to bond people to each other, and that your girlfriend isn't willing to invest this with you is quite disconcerting.

 

It depends on individual values. Some people would not find it disconcerting that their bf/gf places a high value on sex and doesn't find easy casual sex appealing. My last long term relationship (10 yrs) started with a mutual agreement that we were not going to rush to sex. Waiting gave us time to focus on really getting to know each other and it fostered trust. It eliminated the question of "is he/she really into me or does he/she just want sex" because we were in agreement that sex was not the goal. You are correct that sex bonds people, it especially bonds the female and that's precisely why many women should not rush into a sexual relationship. If she emotionally bonds through sex early on then she will get her heart broken if the guy turns out to not be a good guy. There is only so many times a person can go through that and not end up damaged.

 

I'm just having a tough time imagining a 23-year-old girl wildly attracted to a guy holding off on sex, after 3 months of dating and how many intense make-out sessions in the meanwhile. I am going to draw heat for saying this but I am also not sure about a guy being a landing place for a girl with a rough past and emotional issues. Those scenarios typically don't end well for the guy's heart.

 

I agree. If the girl is already emotionally damaged then perhaps she should not be dating until her issues are addressed, however it may be that she is not at all damaged she just knows that she needs to take care of herself and protect her heart going forward if she doesn't want to end up damaged.

 

Why are you even with this girl in the first place? I read that you are a virgin. Is it because she represents your only chance at a girlfriend? That is a very tough spot to be in.

 

From what I have read so far, I'd advise you to break up with her.

 

If the OP doesn't share his gf's values and outlook in regards to sex then I agree that HE should break up with her. The girl doesn't need to jump into the sack, she just needs to find someone who shares her beliefs.

[joystickd]

If the OP doesn't share his gf's values and outlook in regards to sex then I agree that HE should break up with her. The girl doesn't need to jump into the sack, she just needs to find someone who shares her beliefs.

 

She just needs to not find anyone and deal with her issues

[ThaWholigan]

OP, just read that you are a virgin, and the entire thread makes sense to me now.

 

I'm speculating here, but with the way you described longing for the experience of great relationships etc that your friends were experiencing, I'm guessing you've put yourself under a certain amount of pressure for not having that, which is contributing to your frustrations. Your friends' input is probably not helping too much either. Instead of being in the moment with this girl (let's get the whole 3 months waiting thing on the backburner), you're stuck in your head thinking "when are we gonna sex? If she doesn't have sex with me she doesn't like me?" etc, and that's the worst place to be IMO and the antithesis to any real kind of intimacy that would lead to anything.

 

My advice to you would be to stop putting pressure on yourself to have a relationship and have sex. I'm not going to speculate whether or not she's attracted to you, and if you feel you're in the dark about that, then it's probably a good idea to start actually communicating with her honestly and from your heart. Tell her that while you care about her and want to be with her, you're unsure or feeling insecure about how much she desires you and explain that it's not that you just want sex from her (as I don't believe you do personally) but you worry that your own needs may not be met. Be sincere about it.

 

But to me, this stems from your virginity and feeling pressure to have sex/a relationship with this girl. Too often, a lot of us perpetuate this idea that sex is something a young man has to get from a girl otherwise he is worthless. I don't know if that's something you have in your head, but if it is, I think the best thing would be for you to calm down and focus not on needing to have sex but focus on you and her only. That will make it more organic.

[Rejected Rosebud]

 

Don't be obtuse. You know the expectation would be different. As a matter of fact, it may be his virginity that make her feel entitled to subjugate him.

 

Um ... I realize that the "expectation is different" if she were a virgin. I reject that (I'm evolved that way :)) Her virginity or sexual history is irrelevant. That stuff is HER business.

 

I am concerned that you think a woman choosing not to be sexual equals "entitled to subjugate" her boyfriend. That is ... :rolleyes:

 

She continues to deny OP's masculinity on a daily basis, and I seriously doubt that he's gaining any respect through submissiveness. I think he needs that paradigm shift... to express his male power though assertiveness.

Oh, brother. She's denying his masculinity? News flash!!!! A woman can and will decide when to have sexual intercourse. It has NOTHING to do with anybody's masculinity. If a guy needs a woman to have sex with him even when she is not into it in order to experience his own masculinity, and to go as far as to "express his male power through assertiveness" - which I have no problem with but in this context??? I mean where he is with a girl who doesn't want to have sex?? How is he supposed to express his male power through assertiveness, by forcing her to have sex?

 

He really has only two options... keep waiting an hoping that she'll give him a little taste, or cut his losses and start living life on his own terms.

Whatevs. You seem like you expect all men to have a terribly fragile connection with their own masculinity. You are approaching this situation like it's a blow to his masculinity. It's not about his masculinity (or "bad boys" either). It is about HER and how SHE feels.

 

If someone has trepidation about having sex and then does it because somebody is pushing her or threatening to leave her if she doesn't or berates her into it - that is a terrible thing. I bet she has had an experience like that in her past.

 

I've said it at least 3 times now but I would be supportive of breaking up if a boyfriend / girlfriend wasn't on the same page or time frame as far as sex goes. It can be a major compatibility issue. But I will also say that I am a person who waited for quite a long time and it turned out well for both of us. We aren't the only ones.

[turnera]

I'm starting to think there must be something wrong going on if a woman isn't religious and had no problems in the past in having sex in a relationship with someone else (the guy didn't have to wait that long) but is making me wait.

Or, she could (gasp!) just not want to be your hooker.

 

She might actually RESPECT herself and not want to give away access to her body just because you're horny and expect her to.

 

SHE respects herself, but it's clear you don't.

 

And just for knowledge's sake, I'll just put this out there for you to learn: Women usually have to have an emotional connection to want to have sex. Men usually want to have sex to get the emotional connection (or they may just want sex, as you seem to). But since you require her participation, because she's not a blowup doll, you may want to consider providing the REAL emotional connection first before assuming she should put out. In other words, care about HER (the person, not the body you can use).

[turnera]

Relationships are supposed to be win win. I'm just one that believes no man should wait more than 3 months. If it's that much of a problem then as a woman you shouldn't be in a relationship because it's an issue that needs to be handled.

Wow. For reals? It's my JOB to have sex with you just because we're dating? What if I don't want to just give it up to a guy if I don't know we'll end up together? What if I need more than 3 months to KNOW if we have a future? What if I don't want to end up having 20 different partners over the years?

 

Sheesh.

[salparadise]

I've said it at least 3 times now but I would be supportive of breaking up if a boyfriend / girlfriend wasn't on the same page or time frame as far as sex goes. It can be a major compatibility issue. But I will also say that I am a person who waited for quite a long time and it turned out well for both of us. We aren't the only ones.

 

That's what I'm saying too. The difference is a) you think it's all about her and what she wants/needs, but I think this thread is about the OP and his needs not being met, and b) she doesn't seem to give a rat's ass about his needs, but you think that's perfectly fine as long as he's willing to follow her around like a little puppy dog.

 

I guarantee you that if this was a young woman whining that her bf denied her sexual gratification the good females of LS would all be singing dump-dump-dump that loser. In other words, there are some wacky females who think that a non-reciprocal relationship benefiting the female is fine and normal, but one inkling of her needs not being met and they define it as a disaster.

 

And then you go through my posts nitpicking semantics rather than looking at the larger perspective, and add a bunch of pejorative words as you paraphrase to make it sound like I'm some kind of misogynist when the reality is you have tunnel vision, gender bias and aren't capable of arguing in such a way as to add to the discussion.

[thefooloftheyear]

Or, she could (gasp!) just not want to be your hooker.

 

She might actually RESPECT herself and not want to give away access to her body just because you're horny and expect her to.

 

SHE respects herself, but it's clear you don't.

 

And just for knowledge's sake, I'll just put this out there for you to learn: Women usually have to have an emotional connection to want to have sex. Men usually want to have sex to get the emotional connection (or they may just want sex, as you seem to). But since you require her participation, because she's not a blowup doll, you may want to consider providing the REAL emotional connection first before assuming she should put out. In other words, care about HER (the person, not the body you can use).

 

 

I didn't follow the whole thread, but from what I can gather, it just seems like he is "puzzled" why she would all of a sudden put on "standards"-when she hadn't in the past...

 

Perhaps its making it seem like there is something "different" or inferior about him...Or maybe she doesn't value him as an actual prospect, so rather than give him the key to the city, so to speak, she is dangling a carrot...

 

Now all of this is pure speculation....I'll readily agree with you and all the other women if in fact she is changed and now is looking to value a relationship quality over quick sex...Totally valid...

 

I mean, think of it this way....

 

Let's say you start dating a guy..The guy is known by the people in your circle as someone who is greatly chivalrous and generous...You start dating him and tells you he wants to split the dinner check or share expenses on a day trip....

 

You wouldn't find that unusual???

 

TFY

[turnera]

Believe it or not, there are MANY reasons a woman can decide not to want to have sex. The guy isn't alpha enough. He's being needy. He makes silly 'gestures' like lighting two candles and thinking her mind will then turn to mush and want sex.

 

You can't compare paying for dinner with opening up your body to the most vulnerable act possible.

 

And let's not forget the double standard.

 

Like I said, there could be a million reasons she's not willing to have sex with him at this point. But he's being fairly petulant about it, at least in the way he writes. NOT attractive.

[thefooloftheyear]

Believe it or not, there are MANY reasons a woman can decide not to want to have sex. The guy isn't alpha enough. He's being needy. He makes silly 'gestures' like lighting two candles and thinking her mind will then turn to mush and want sex.

 

You can't compare paying for dinner with opening up your body to the most vulnerable act possible.

 

And let's not forget the double standard.

 

Like I said, there could be a million reasons she's not willing to have sex with him at this point. But he's being fairly petulant about it, at least in the way he writes. NOT attractive.

 

 

Forget the comparison for a moment....Just the fact one behavior doesn't seem to match the persons M/O...Sex or otherwise, it might just have someone wondering whether or not there is something "inferior" about him, as you have described...

 

And if that's the case, and I don't necessarily disagree with you, why doesn't she dump him?

 

I'm not taking his side..I don't know, just like you don't...

 

TFY