ShatteredLady Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Does HPV count as a sexually transmitted disease? When people go for standard STD tests do they include HPV? Have women here been told that they have HPV? & it's a STD that their partner could pass on? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whoknew30 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 Sorry got cut off... No one owes you anything. No one & to get mad at anyone but the person that actually did it you (IMO) is counter productive. All it does it take the focus off the real problem, which is the S. Unless raped, no on made your S do anything. No one has a magic penis or magical vagina. So why would I focus on anything or anyone besides my S? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whoknew30 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 Does HPV count as a sexually transmitted disease? When people go for standard STD tests do they include HPV? Have women here been told that they have HPV? & it's a STD that their partner could pass on? HPV, is rampit. If you ever had sex with anyone you've been exposed. Men are carriers & don't know they have it, unless it's a strand that causes genital warts. Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Sorry got cut off... No one owes you anything. No one & to get mad at anyone but the person that actually did it you (IMO) is counter productive. All it does it take the focus off the real problem, which is the S. Unless raped, no on made your S do anything. No one has a magic penis or magical vagina. So why would I focus on anything or anyone besides my S? Because some of us did not have a S who stopped the A after it was discovered. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whoknew30 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 Your logic is entertaining Well it's true right? You could have only got it from her if you slept with her. You didn't so you got it from your husband. Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Thank you. All I know is all my life I had 'well woman checks' & was never HPV positive. Then I was positive. Then I have cancers that are linked to HPV when I search the Internet. My specialists say "Yes! HPV causes cancer" but no-one ever told me it was an STD & I shouldn't have sex. I bet other women are the same. I met my H 26 years ago. So does everyone have HPV? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whoknew30 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 Because some of us did not have a S who stopped the A after it was discovered. That's still 100% on him. I hope you guys have fixed it by now but its ultimately his fault. Some men have a problem keeping their peepee's to themselves, as my grandmother would say "they just want to share". Honestly though if you have to run around telling the world your husband can't stop cheating (the men in my family Were this way) you can tell & confront as many people as you'd like. If they want to, they'll just find someone else & all you've done is let everyone know (bc people talk) that you're putting up with it. Sometimes It's better to just keep your crap with in your circle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whoknew30 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 Thank you. All I know is all my life I had 'well woman checks' & was never HPV positive. Then I was positive. Then I have cancers that are linked to HPV when I search the Internet. My specialists say "Yes! HPV causes cancer" but no-one ever told me it was an STD & I shouldn't have sex. I bet other women are the same. I met my H 26 years ago. So does everyone have HPV? My Dr told me (& she's the head of her department at a very good hospital) that if you have sex you've been exposed & there is no way to track who has it. Some women can carry it with no problems some can get cancer. There are like hundreds of strains of HPV, if you ever had a regular wart, that's HPV. Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Thank you! I think you can guess what's been going through my head lately. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Well it's true right? You could have only got it from her if you slept with her. You didn't so you got it from your husband. No I get this but HE got it from HER and then gave it to me. I was agreeing with telling the other BS so they are aware there may be some STD passing going around. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 That's still 100% on him. I hope you guys have fixed it by now but its ultimately his fault. Some men have a problem keeping their peepee's to themselves, as my grandmother would say "they just want to share". Honestly though if you have to run around telling the world your husband can't stop cheating (the men in my family Were this way) you can tell & confront as many people as you'd like. If they want to, they'll just find someone else & all you've done is let everyone know (bc people talk) that you're putting up with it. Sometimes It's better to just keep your crap with in your circle. ^This I agree with and I have put up with hell of too much Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I've never told ANYONE except my best friend (& forum friends but you don't know who I am) I think it's because I knew he wasn't leaving so chances are we're staying together. I might be able to forgive. I don't believe my family & friends could. It makes it more isolating for me but far easier on my marriage that no-one knows. My H would be mortified!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whoknew30 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 ^This I agree with and I have put up with hell of too much It seems like you have. You kind of remind me of my mom. She put up with it for a long time, my parents are still together & happy now but it took many years. Though believe it or not, now that I'm older i understand what was broken inside my dad to why he did what he did. It doesn't make it ok but I understand it. I'm glad they fixed it, it made me respect my mother's strength & believe it or not made me respect how much work my dad did to try & make it right to her. He eventually fixed himself, which was good for me to see & learn what strength & forgiveness can be in a marriage Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whoknew30 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 I've never told ANYONE except my best friend (& forum friends but you don't know who I am) I think it's because I knew he wasn't leaving so chances are we're staying together. I might be able to forgive. I don't believe my family & friends could. It makes it more isolating for me but far easier on my marriage that no-one knows. My H would be mortified!! I'm very fortunate it to have a wonderful support system, I have a group of friends & family I can tell absolutely anything to & I'll get honesty & caring without all the judgmental crap. Even if they say my H is a jerk at that moment they would never hold a grudge. I feel sorry for you that you don't have that but as long as you have your BF sometimes that's all a womam needs. I hope you guys have worked it out & just keep your female appointments & you should be fine . Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 My H's OW is single so it was never a question for me. In my family the BS was informed & left her WH who then offered the WW the world & they became a couple. People still say "They would never of ended-up together if his W hadn't dumped him!". I don't know but it would be a concern for me....who wants a partner who would leave under ANY circumstance though? I think I'd tell now but I get your H gut reaction at the time. I've known where a BH got together with the OBS.... his WW was furious, raging mad actually. She didn't want her OM, the OMs wife didn't want him... and as much as the WH loved his wife.. he just couldn't get past the affair and being made to look like a fool in his words. The WH said the OBS was extremely attractive and couldn't understand why the OM strayed. The blow up here was the WW having a nervous breakdown and being hospitalised when her H got with the OBS. She found it too tough to bear. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 place the cards face up. its life. Some folks seem to think so long as the elephant stays in the house the neighbors won't notice the trunk sticking out the roof. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Joie Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I didn't confront the AP or her BS. Honestly, I had enough of my own problems to worry about. I got myself check for STD's and I am dealing with the fact that my husband was such a ******* during the a that he exposed me to them in the first place. But what she and her BS do is really done of my business. She has left my family alone so I will leave her alone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Truth is...we all gotta do what we need to do and each of us has to handle our situations in our own way. I don't believe I can dictate that you MUST confront....because only you know your situation. I have already stated that both of our AP's were single.....but i can safely say....knowing me....and i do know me best...I would not confront or tell another person that their spouse is involved in an affair. Whether it is right or whether it is wrong....i would not tell.... and I will take it a step further....I don't want anyone else telling me. So any if any married lady is involved with my husband...message to her husband...don't tell me. Worry about your spouse and i will deal with mine. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 The only way I'd ever tell is if the OP was fully harassing me. Besides that, I just wouldn't. I could care a less about AP BS, that's their problem. My spouse is my problem. I don't disagree with other's for doing it but for me I just don't think it's productive. If my spouse can't stop after I know, I wouldn't stay married to them. I'm his wife, not his parent. I only parent my kids if I have to parent my spouse, I'd rather not have one. We sadly know that you could not care less about the OMW. After all you invited yourself into the OMW marriage and did her husband. As to your position of not wanting to be your BH's parent why do you think that it is ok for you to call the OMW and tell her to parent her own husband. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 I don't care about the AP at all. That's their problem & if I don't have a STD & my spouse doesn't then our health isn't in danger. My problem is my spouse, that's it. I was more concerned about how H & I got to that point. I don't like to ever lose focus of what's really important. IMO all that other crap are distractions, if you want to R. Many times STD's go without symptoms. Link to post Share on other sites
uneek74 Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 By telling, the W basically gave her husband to me. I think by telling the spouse you unfortunately are handing him over to the OW. He went after me with like there was no tomorrow. In this case it wasn't a good idea! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whoknew30 Posted December 23, 2015 Author Share Posted December 23, 2015 We sadly know that you could not care less about the OMW. After all you invited yourself into the OMW marriage and did her husband. As to your position of not wanting to be your BH's parent why do you think that it is ok for you to call the OMW and tell her to parent her own husband. First, if you read my actual thread, she wasn't his wife. So I did not invite myself into any marriage. Second, I'm not parenting a anyone or calling anybody. I said I would never call anyone to say anything. Please read what I actually wrote. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 By telling, the W basically gave her husband to me. I think by telling the spouse you unfortunately are handing him over to the OW. He went after me with like there was no tomorrow. In this case it wasn't a good idea! Probably a blessing in disguise for her to be rid of her WS! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whoknew30 Posted December 23, 2015 Author Share Posted December 23, 2015 Many times STD's go without symptoms. Then one should get tested yearly even if they don't expect A if its such a worry. Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Then one should get tested yearly even if they don't expect A if its such a worry. Yep I do this because I don't trust my WH. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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