loveweary11 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Well, this isn't going to be very exciting. Just an update as to more progress... Last week, I was hooking up with a short, but not as attractive pornstar looking girl as I usually would. She was also really plain and mostly wore baggy clothes and no makeup. Skater though, so... cool points off the charts. Those CA girls man... so chill/cool. Wish I live there in a lot of ways. Her personality was warm, caring, fun and welcoming. This made sex better than it is with all the 10/11 chicks I'm usually going after, which has completely changed my mind on the subject of looks. I'm dropping my looks requirements a bit and am going after small brunettes with personality who are older, if possible. Seems like if I "try on" more of these down to earth types I'm not flipping out over based on makeup skills, I'll have a lot more success finding the right one to share adventures with. Still not feeling love easily at all, but I'm definitely feeling open to it... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Gee, how magnanimous of you.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 Gee, how magnanimous of you.... Carrie, i like you! Why are you beating me up? I thought we could share deeply personal moments here. Thought that's what the forum was for. Anyone who had read my posts over time knows I've been stupid about the level of looks I require and that's got me lousy matches. I feel I've made some personal progress here in going for different types of girls. How does *that* sound egotistical? Anyway, Art Basel was awesome and I have tons of pics, especially of street art, if you'd like to see some... Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 LW, you are a curious cat to me, and I say the next with all due respect. I think it's a bit funny of you to think that, because you enjoyed hooking up with ONE "slightly less attractive" woman with dark hair and a good personality, that that's the type you're going for now. I mean, I agree that looking past a perfect 10 face/bod is a good thing, I can't help but think that you still seem quite shallow when it comes to women. Not everyone woman who looks/acts like the skater girl you slept with is going to make you have the same reaction. No wonder you feel like you can't connect—you're not picking woman for any reason than the physical. Link to post Share on other sites
Samhain Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I'm with losangelina, if you're picking women solely on the looks department and then changing your natural preference based on what you can and can't get, I wouldn't expect to find anything "special" any time soon. Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 That's not an epiphany - just a variation on the same theme. Stop going for types, and start going for actual people. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 LW, you are a curious cat to me, and I say the next with all due respect. I think it's a bit funny of you to think that, because you enjoyed hooking up with ONE "slightly less attractive" woman with dark hair and a good personality, that that's the type you're going for now. I mean, I agree that looking past a perfect 10 face/bod is a good thing, I can't help but think that you still seem quite shallow when it comes to women. Not everyone woman who looks/acts like the skater girl you slept with is going to make you have the same reaction. No wonder you feel like you can't connect—you're not picking woman for any reason than the physical. Exactly. Which this one girl singlehandedly broke me of. I'm messed up, definitely. I'm getting better though. This one helped me see past looks for the first time in literally forever. Since just after college. Maybe I didn't say that clearly in the first post. My whole life I'd been working my way up the looks ladder. Was pretty much at the top with the ex wife, so, had been going up another notch after her. Old habits die slowly. This one girl reminded me of how looks can be subjective and that you can have a *more* amazing time with the right mix of looks and personality. Yes, sometimes, a defining moment or wake up call is all we need. This was mine. She brought me back to an old college mentality/feeling where the personality weighed more heavily. I have posted before I felt I wouldn't be attracted to anything less than physical perfection. I had been dating by finding super hottie after super hottie and looking for compatibility in them. That's where I was going wrong. This girl, by being more fun physically, proved me wrong. Proved I can be more attracted to a less made up girl who is chill and compatible to begin with. Proved that I can be every bit as attracted to a less made up, more down to earth girl. This is an absolutely HUGE personal realization, worthy of a post. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 Damn. How come I'm trying to write one thing and the whole place is hearing the opposite?? I'm not sure why i can't get this into words... Let me try to write it in one sentence: This girl helped me realize I can have the same or better attraction to girls who are kind of average in the looks department, helping me NOT go based on looks as much from here on out. ***Exactly the opposite of how what I wrote earlier sank in with readers. Must have worded it incorrectly. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 At least you always stir the pot here LW. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 At least you always stir the pot here LW. Right?? I thought this would be the most boring post ever... "loveweary finally gets it." No drama. But no... i wrote something incorrectly it seems. Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 What it sounded like you said is that because this woman is short, brunette and not as attractive than your usual, that you were going to "switch types" and go for short brunettes. So you're right, it didn't sound at all like she made you realize looks weren't everything, but that you're just searching for a different set of looks. Thanks for clarifying the difference. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 What it sounded like you said is that because this woman is short, brunette and not as attractive than your usual, that you were going to "switch types" and go for short brunettes. So you're right, it didn't sound at all like she made you realize looks weren't everything, but that you're just searching for a different set of looks. Thanks for clarifying the difference. Sorry my posting skills suck tonight. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Right?? I thought this would be the most boring post ever... "loveweary finally gets it." No drama. But no... i wrote something incorrectly it seems. Let me jump on you from the other side then ....no need to dismiss hot chicks as transparent. Plenty of them can give you the full experience and are just as intelligent and 3-dimensional as their less attractive counterparts. Believe me, I know this firsthand. (It's actually kinda curious you never found a 'good' one ...I'd say they're actually more common than not.) Link to post Share on other sites
sportygirl89 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Looks only last for so long. I hope you don't marry any of them to only dump them for younger better looking pretty girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 Let me jump on you from the other side then ....no need to dismiss hot chicks as transparent. Plenty of them can give you the full experience and are just as intelligent and 3-dimensional as their less attractive counterparts. Believe me, I know this firsthand. (It's actually kinda curious you never found a 'good' one ...I'd say they're actually more common than not.) I'm going to agree with you 100%. I think my mistake in dating ever since I started a couple years ago was filtering through girls based on lookd, then on compatibility of interests, then on personality. This gave me a stream of hot chicks that were picked for looks alone to date/hook up with. Of course I'd always end up uninterested or incompatible doing that. I've only been with ridiculously (and i mean really ridiculously) hot girls since I set out to do that after college. Many were great people. I was in long term relationships with them and married one. In my short couple of years dating recently, I'd just been going at it wrong. Putting looks as the absolute and then just hoping the rest would fill in. Surprise, surprise, it didn't. I needed to be looking for a combination of looks/personality and maybe life or interest similarity... but not just accepting anyone because they're hot and not passing by ones because they are kind of plain Jane. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 Looks only last for so long. I hope you don't marry any of them to only dump them for younger better looking pretty girls. It would be very unhealthy for me to go any younger. (and I definitely won't) Ex wife was 10 years younger, current girls have all been half my age. Link to post Share on other sites
Samhain Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Let me jump on you from the other side then ....no need to dismiss hot chicks as transparent. Plenty of them can give you the full experience and are just as intelligent and 3-dimensional as their less attractive counterparts. Believe me, I know this firsthand. (It's actually kinda curious you never found a 'good' one ...I'd say they're actually more common than not.) I'm thinking.. Do you two live close to eachother! Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 I'm going to agree with you 100%. I think my mistake in dating ever since I started a couple years ago was filtering through girls based on lookd, then on compatibility of interests, then on personality. This gave me a stream of hot chicks that were picked for looks alone to date/hook up with. Of course I'd always end up uninterested or incompatible doing that. I've only been with ridiculously (and i mean really ridiculously) hot girls since I set out to do that after college. Many were great people. I was in long term relationships with them and married one. In my short couple of years dating recently, I'd just been going at it wrong. Putting looks as the absolute and then just hoping the rest would fill in. Surprise, surprise, it didn't. I needed to be looking for a combination of looks/personality and maybe life or interest similarity... but not just accepting anyone because they're hot and not passing by ones because they are kind of plain Jane. Yeah I understand ....we're looking for diff things after all (at least much of the time), and a potentially longterm partner is a lot taller order, hot or not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted December 23, 2015 Author Share Posted December 23, 2015 (It's actually kinda curious you never found a 'good' one ...I'd say they're actually more common than not.) I did find one that had it all, but she had too much.. That was yoga. I still have deep feelings for her despite the evil side. I stopped talking to her because of my brain, not my heart. Was not easy. Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Even a "boring thread" by you still racks up the responses. My over/under for the number of posts this thread garners is 100. Hell we're not even 90 minutes in and we are at 20.... At any rate, Cool Stories Bro! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 What happened to the tall blonde? Link to post Share on other sites
Samhain Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 What happened to the tall blonde? You snooze you lose, this guy is the Marty McFly of dating 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Samhain Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Funny cos' I watched Shallow Hal tonight, not that I'm comparing you! But that it seems that a lot of people are very much beauty oriented when they aren't exactly "beautiful themself" .. I always wonder whether it's media today and constantly having people on shows and what not telling us what beauty should be.. Are we not expecting too much and aiming above our stations? I dunno. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Good for you love weary!! I hope your find your match even if she happens to only be a petite porn star with dark blonde hair. Good luck in your new chapter. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Way to go! You WILL find that porn star of your dreams and don't worry you can always give her a makeup tutorial! Keep up the good work! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
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