stardoll Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Hello Im from England and I am 43.We have been married for 20 years and have 3 children. I just found out two weeks ago that my husband was with another woman. My 18 year old daughter called my husband, he left the phone off and my daughter heard him in the car with another woman (Russian) It is likely that this woman is a prostitute. My husband was away on business at the time (he works for himself) he didn't even come back home for two weeks. He called my daughter a liar and blamed her for causing a problem between us. I then made up a lie for him to protect my daughter and pretended he was with a work colleague. He has since returned home and I asked him to move out. Since hes moved out I have realized that my whole 20 year marriage was a lie. I have had blinkers on for 20 years and not seen the person I am married to for who he really is. I just feel so stupid. When we got engaged he said "your rings in the car go and get it if you want it" Hes been out with other women and I forgave him because our children were little. Hes very wealthy but kept me with very little money. Hes now threatening that if I go for more money than hes offering (7% of everything) he will move to another country and I wont get anything. He also keeps asking me to sign something to say I will only take 7%. tHIS ONLY HAPPENED TWO WEEKS AGO!!! I feel so stupid that I didnt see what he was like before, I just wanted to see the nice parts of him. Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Stardoll Sorry to hear your story. I'm from the UK to. DO NOT, let him bully you into taking a pittance after 20 years and 3 children. Get a solicitor. One recommended by a friend who can advise you and ensure that you are protected from now on. And if you have any evidence, copy it and put it with them for safe keeping. If you have family and friends, please turn to them for support too. Hugs Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Echo the above advice. See a solicitor TODAY. Most will do a free initial consultation so you have nothing to lose. Take a summary of all the facts and figures with you (assets values, properties values, incomes, savings, debts, mortgages etc). In fact go and see as many local solicitors as possible to get as much advice as you can and find one knowledgeable in high value divorce cases. As an added bonus, he won't be able to see them after you do due to conflict of interest laws. The one that you like the most, retain their services and ask them to file a divorce for you tomorrow. This is not a time for pussy-footing around, I'm afraid. You will need to start kicking some butt if you want to avoid serious trouble later. Make sure the solicitor puts a marital block on all bank accounts and property to stop him hiding/moving assets. Since he has indicated that he may be a flight risk, use a process server to serve the divorce papers rather than the standard post (this will cost you extra but you may regret it if you don't). Your solicitor can arrange all of this for you. Do not tell your husband that you are doing this. Just do it. How long ago did he move out? If it's a reasonable length of time ago, change the locks. Your solicitor might tell you that legally you shouldn't do this, but in reality, there's not much he can do about it. Keeping him out of the house will help you immensely. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stardoll Posted December 23, 2015 Author Share Posted December 23, 2015 Hi thank you for the replies. I have already spoken to several solicitors and have an appointment booked for January. He has everything hidden in offshore accounts...even our house!!! I think hes been planning this for a long time. Im not happy to take 7% but I am happy to take 10% but even that will make him be really nasty to me. I feel like I have had blinkers on for 20 years I am so happy they are off now. I just wish this would all go away I am so afraid he will get nasty with me re the money. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 It is incredibly difficult to "hide" assets. There is always a paper trail. Don't worry about him getting nasty with money. The court will not let him get away with that. The judge will have heard and seen it all a thousand times. It's very common to try to hide assets, but very rare to actually succeed. Especially if he has made you an offer of 7% and specified what value that 7% is. Simply divide by 7 and multiply by 100 to get the total assets. Just leave it all to your solicitor. Don't agree to any offer that he makes you personally. Just say talk to my solicitor. I am sure your solicitor will reassure you that you will get a LOT more than 7% or 10%. It's a very long marriage and there are children involved. I should think you'd get 50% or more plus spousal maintenance. Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Hi thank you for the replies. I have already spoken to several solicitors and have an appointment booked for January. He has everything hidden in offshore accounts...even our house!!! I think hes been planning this for a long time. Im not happy to take 7% but I am happy to take 10% but even that will make him be really nasty to me. I feel like I have had blinkers on for 20 years I am so happy they are off now. I just wish this would all go away I am so afraid he will get nasty with me re the money. If it were me (and going from experience) I would go through all the papers that he has left, if any in the house. There may be info there to help the solicitors in getting you the deal you deserve. DO NOT, please DO NOT accept anything less than you deserve. Link to post Share on other sites
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