Just seen Him with his family :-(

[Louisesarah]

I wish I could stop thinking about Him I really do.

I just genuinely thought he had feelings for me and to think he doesn't makes me feel so awful.

When we were together he even said this isn't about sex.

When he was holding me it felt real.

Last year he even spoke about us being a couple and how he couldn't stop thinking of me then backed away.

[Louisesarah]

It hurts that he thinks I'm a mistske.

Think he has a cheek after he has chased me for years.

Now he developed a guilty conscience

[Ifalltopieces]

It hurts that he thinks I'm a mistske.

Think he has a cheek after he has chased me for years.

Now he developed a guilty conscience

 

 

They all lie and they have no conscience or regard for the feelings and emotions of the people they hurt. I just ended a very abusive 2 year affair. Accepting that he never loved me, never meant anything he said and only used me for his own sick gratification is extremely hard to accept.

 

When I start thinking about how worthless, humiliated and disgusted he makes me feel, I remind myself that karma does exist and one day, one day he will get his.

 

I'm a firm believer in everything happening for a reason. There is a purpose behind this....you need to find it and use it to make you a stronger, better person.

[Louisesarah]

It's a horrible feeling.

I guess I knew what he was like if he would cheat on his gf 3 weeks after baby.

I love talking to Him,I've never felt that close to someone for ages.

He told me when he was seeing this other girl he was in love with this other woman and I've became the new her.

I keep thinking why ask if I love him.

So many questions.

Il never get answers.

Waiting for the day he might get in touch.

I hate loving him.

I feel weak

I'm annoyed he got to tell me not to text him.

It should of been me.

[eye of the storm]

When I get physically injured (or one of my kids do) I focus on letting the pain flow thru me. I try to not block the pain. I accept it is there , I focus on the temporary nature of the pain. I just let it flow thru me and then out.

 

Blocking it, focusing on it just makes it build up and get larger. Block a stream and soon you have a pond.

 

When thoughts of him or thoughts of shame come into your head. Accept them, then let them go.

 

Learn, grow, move on.

[privategal]

Hello.

I hope you start to feel better soon.

A sudden ending is always hard.

I hope you have considered what would have happened if you had gotten your way...a step mom at 28?

Your best friend not happy that you ignored her request to not be involved, his financial struggle due to child support and the lack of freedom to date and be alone as much of his time would go to visitation and the baby's mother would likely be upset and you would be labeled a homewrecker.

If you look at all those facts and add in that sometimes life doesn't give us what we hope but it can bring us to something different and better.

Its ok to grieve but greive that its over. Dont mourn while hoping he comes back as he slept with you then defriended and blocked you while at the same time cheating in his girlfriend.

This should help you move on.

Get some time and space from his family and heal.

Staying in this greiving process too long won't help though.

[Louisesarah]

I hope I do.

I just feel so low.

I suffer from depression and I don't think I've put myself in the best situation.

I knew it would be me hurt.

[Louisesarah]

I just keep thinking maybe if it wasn't for his son things might of been different.

I think he was embarrassed of me too.

Where we live he has always been the cool popular one ...and I'm the shy one.

Maybe he was scared people would talk shout him

[Louisesarah]

Thinking back to when we were lay on the sofa ..he said

" if we have sex it would spoil all of this "

What did he mean?

[imperfectangel]

Thinking back to when we were lay on the sofa ..he said

" if we have sex it would spoil all of this "

What did he mean?

 

 

 

 

No one can tell you his every thought. I have days where I analyse everything but I'm worried this isn't healthy for you. Try and distract yourself get some distance from him

[gettingstronger]

Sounds like he has a fear of fatherhood and responsibility- you are a distraction from all of that- if you are OK with that, carry on- if not, don't- however, I would be cautious of being involved with him long term- It doesn't sound sound like its his GF thats the issue, its his position in life right now- IF you two got in the same position, his reaction would probably be the same-

[Louisesarah]

I've been asked out for a food with this 2 guys.

They could be the distraction I need.

I forgot to add before he said I was a mistake he rang me twice and I didn't answer then he sent me 2 dirty texts and I called him sad and that's when he said i was mistake etc.

I'm trying to think of the negatives about him

1.he cheats ( on every gf he has had )

2 he drinks too much till he can't stand

3.he is aggressive and I've heard him say to his gf il punch your head in ( only words)

The list could go on I guess

[Louisesarah]

Maybe he is a serial cheat

Maybe he does this for a ego boost

I'm fed up of thinking about him

I want him out of my head

He does not deserve my head space

I deserve more than this

[ShatteredLady]

He's a 33 year old father. This isn't a really young guy who's just going to change. He would have to do a LOT of work on himself & nothing you say indicates he's the kind of guy to do that.

 

Having so much history & the family connection must make it really hard for you. I understand your pain. I'm sorry but this guy has had MANY opportunities to choose you over the years. He hasn't!

 

Continue with this list...

 

"I forgot to add before he said I was a mistake he rang me twice and I didn't answer then he sent me 2 dirty texts and I called him sad and that's when he said i was mistake etc.

I'm trying to think of the negatives about him

1.he cheats ( on every gf he has had )

2 he drinks too much till he can't stand

3.he is aggressive and I've heard him say to his gf il punch your head in ( only words)

 

All 3 would be deal breakers for me! Add he's unavailable & he's the kind of man who's out at all hours making out & having sex with another woman while his partner is home taking care of his very young baby. He's the kind of man who flirts & sexts while his partner is pregnant & having his child.

 

You are worth so much more than this. Even if he was single & available why would you lower yourself to be with a man like this? Why? He's a drinking, womanizing, verbally violently abusive man. Why?

 

Even your friend knows that her own brother is toxic to women! She cares about you. You've betrayed your friendship & your own morals (from how you sound). Please put this behind you & no matter what happens DON'T go near this guy again. He's poison!

[Louisesarah]

I am actually feeling a lot better,maybe I'm sorting my head out at long last.

My friend said to me she is pleased he isn't single because he would only hurt me like he does every woman.

His mum even said to me you deserve better,don't want you getting hurt.

My friend was saying how unhappy he is and I'm pleased,I hope he is utterly miserable.

Even if he ever gets in touch now there is no way I would lower myself to go back there again ..I honestly mean that.

No chance would I let him do that.

I only wish I hadn't gone there to start with and lower myself.

I've never done anything like this before and I am a good person I just made a very silly choice.

I'm just seeing things clearly for some reason.

Imagine if he was single I wouldn't trust him because I know what he is capable of.

[Louisesarah]

There is no use me analysing everything he has ever said because nobody knows but him and at the end of the day the only thing that's important is how he treated me ( like crap) he isn't with me so that's all I need to know.

It won't be long before he does it with a other women

[Louisesarah]

Had a really really bad moment there.

Went to my friends house to collect something and he was there with the gf and baby.

I seen the gf could hear baby crying and hear his voice.

I left there in bits,crying And he didn't acknowledge me.

His mum was at the door told me not to panic and said bye.

I said bye to her and left.

I walked away feeling like a piece of crap he used.

I feel so so unbelievably upset

[Louisesarah]

I can't believe how things turned out like this.

If we had of remained friends I wouldn't of felt so bad.

At the minute it's the realisation that he used me and I'm worthless and I'm a nothing.

I never wanted to be a nothing to him.

I don't want to be here feeling like this anymore

I'm in so much pain and nobody cares about me.

Why didn't he just care about me.

[Louisesarah]

You might of seen me post previously about this guy.

Basically it is my best friends brother and we had some weird thing going on but now he said I was a mistake after years of chasing me and texting me,ringing me.

We slept together then he suddenly developed a guilty conscience.

He has a gf and baby..the baby is 12 weeks.

It was 9 weeks ago when we slept together.

Anyway yesterday I went to my friends house to collect something and he was there with gf and baby.

I opened front door and seen his gf on the chair heard him talking.

He knew it was me and continued talking didn't seen affected by me.

I was shaking his mum told me to keep calm( she knows but he doesn't know she knows) I said bye to his mum and left.

It makes me sad how close we were and he can't even come say hi or say bye.

I was insignificant.

I left feeling like a nothing,someone used and worthless.

I cried and cried and cried.

Seeing them together kills me...I felt so worthless and stupid.

I was thinking back to lying in bed with his arms around me holding my hand and kissing my forehead and here I am so worthless he can't acknowledge me.

[Dancewithme]

And there you have your answer. He used you for sex. You are a dirty little secret, not to be acknowledged at all. Let the pain and shame you feel at this moment give you resolve to think with you head, and stay out of relationships with someone who is committed to someone else.

 

Be determined in your belief that you deserve better. Stop sharing with his sister and mom, they may be acting nice to you, but this situation is probably not portraying you in a good light, in their eyes. Maybe keep a little distance from them while you scrape your self esteem off the floor, and work on yourself a bit.

[Louisesarah]

In all fairness what did I expect ..him to come out and start speaking to the woman his cheated on his girlfriend with when she is sat there with the baby.

Before we even slept together when he lived at home he would hide in his room from me.

Why do I miss Him

[Dancewithme]

I am sorry you are left feeling this way. It seems all the signs have been there about what he really thought of you. What a creep. He has no respect for you, And definitely does not deserve any more of your energy.

 

Is there a way to put some distance between you and him/ his people? Continuing to see him and his family could only keep your fires burning for him, which would delay your healing.Put your energy into yourself. Seek out people who respect you, who want to be around you. In the open. Find a trusted confidante( not his family!) an older relative, clergy person, counselor, someone who can help you with your self esteem. You must learn to think better of yourself so that you will not allow yourself to be treated this way.

[whatatangledweb]

I seem to see it differently than others. I believe he did care for you and none of that was fake. I don't believe he used you for sex. I think he got scared after it.Maybe because he felt guilty and maybe because he knew it would continue and he couldn't do a double life. He avoids talking to you so he doesn't fall back into it as he knows he will.

 

You are not scum or worthless and you weren't used though I know you feel that way. Unfortunately there is no way for the two of you to go back to being friends. I'm so sorry you are hurting.

[Louisesarah]

I can't go on like this.

Walking back today with friend bumped into his gf and baby on there way to meet him.

I'm so so upset and jealous,I'm starting to wish I wasn't here anymore.

I can feel my depression coming back.

I can't get over how his treated me.

I keep picturing Him and her on the bus home with their baby all lovey dovey.

I can't cope with this.

I don't know how to get over it honestly I don't.

I hate him for what he has done to me.

Why did he pretend he cared made me want him.

I honestly don't know how much more I can take.

When I say I feel low I actually can't see myself getting over this and carrying on

[WiseOwl]

I'm sorry. You sound a fit too old for this.

 

You slept with a man that's attached and has a 12 week old baby. Be glad he's not your husband and cheating on you.

 

It sounds like Jerry Springer material.

 

Quit stopping by, running into people, texting,...

 

Maybe one day FAR FAR FAR down the road he can be divorced and you can have a cheater with him as your husband.

 

Have some self respect and leave this family alone. Someone should tell his wife he is sleeping around and she should get tested for STD's. I doubt you're the first one he has cheated on her with.

 

Plus, your best friend is being betrayed by you as well.

 

You need to focus on being a better friend and staying away from this family. They may just have a chance. Quit falling for the BS he's throwing your way.

 

If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you.

 

Run.