Some words would be greatly appreciated here.

[justanotherguy1]

So I'll just get to the point. I was dumped by my gf about 6 months ago, i went on nc for 4 months. recently she started messaging me and we talked now and then. I thought we were both capable of talking normal so after a few weeks we talked i just asked her if she would like to start over and she said no. This set me back a bit but im not here for that.

 

I would like to know whats the best advice you would give to me in terms of life and relationships. Anything you have to say about the break up as well would be great. Anything you all have to say will be appreciated. Im 22 btw and life right now is very hard for me but im not stressing myself.

[preraph]

For her, being friends is fine. For you, it is not fine and would only keep you captive on her. No contact is how to go. Go back to that. Tell her you think it's necessary so that you can move on. I mean it is true that no new woman will want the ex hanging around or texting even as a friend. I've been that girl. I had a good friend who I was just fine being friends with and then he decided to divorce and ran straight to me very insistent we give romance a shot. It didn't work for me. It did work to some extent for him. We broke up. I wanted the friendship back and not the romance. He was in the exact position you are now being angry because i didn't want to go back to being romantic. He got mad enough to move on and we've been no more than acquaintances since then. I lost a friend and wish I'd never acquiesced. I was happy the way we were before.

[Sunlight72]

Well let's see....advice about life or relationships.... If we lived closer we could talk for a few hours about it, but in a nutshell -

 

In both life and relationships, make options for yourself!

 

In life, be on the look out for things you find fun. Look through Eventful.com and Meetup.com and your local newspaper, and start writing down everything you find intriguing or looks fun, and Start Going!

 

Volunteer! Volunteer for one-day or weekend things that sound cool to you! You will meet people, help people, feel good about contributing something positive to your world, and it will lead to other good situations in your life. Friends, travel, self-worth, skills, potential jobs and more and more.

 

In the next 6 to 10 months you will find experiences you hadn't thought you could/would do that you really enjoy. You'll also meet some people you will be glad to know

 

In relationships, be friendly. Be easy-going and just enjoy meeting people (all people, nothing to do with being attracted).

 

Don't be focused on meeting a 'girlfriend'. Introduce yourself, and/or make silly fun little comments with strangers often. Play a game - see how many smiles you can share in a day! It's a great game I play it sometimes, though of course I don't actually count the number.

 

As you're busy making people smile, and having fun hearing silly comments from others, and joining in, or being just a little silly and light yourself, you will find your own pace. You will find your own interests. And then someone will find you charming and fun, and you'll like them and you'll start having fun together and soon become an 'item'.

 

And if it doesn't go very far romantically, it won't crush you or sidetrack your whole life, because you have a full life Outside that temporary relationship, and you will be carried along by the momentum of positive, fun people and events that you have been riding already.

 

In all things, do not be competitive against others. Work instead to get on board with a good person or a good group of people and contribute to what they're doing. Bring others along on the way to building something good yourself! Even in little things, put energy into Including people in any place or group you enter.

 

Best Wishes,

Sunlight

[Redhead14]

So I'll just get to the point. I was dumped by my gf about 6 months ago, i went on nc for 4 months. recently she started messaging me and we talked now and then. I thought we were both capable of talking normal so after a few weeks we talked i just asked her if she would like to start over and she said no. This set me back a bit but im not here for that.

 

I would like to know whats the best advice you would give to me in terms of life and relationships. Anything you have to say about the break up as well would be great. Anything you all have to say will be appreciated. Im 22 btw and life right now is very hard for me but im not stressing myself.

 

Once you break up with a partner, unless there are children involved or own a house together, etc., there is no reason to maintain contact. You are both two people going separate ways. Attempting to maintain a friendship is usually about one or the other or both hoping that someday things will change. No contact lasts forever. If I were you, and she contacts you again, don't respond in anyway no matter how many times she contacts you. And don't reach out to her for any reason either. When they reach out to you like that after months, they just want to know if you are still pining away for them. It's an ego boost . . .

 

Make it a clean break always. If you happen to bump into one another at some points, be polite and friendly and keep moving.

[justanotherguy1]

For her, being friends is fine. For you, it is not fine and would only keep you captive on her. No contact is how to go. Go back to that. Tell her you think it's necessary so that you can move on. I mean it is true that no new woman will want the ex hanging around or texting even as a friend. I've been that girl. I had a good friend who I was just fine being friends with and then he decided to divorce and ran straight to me very insistent we give romance a shot. It didn't work for me. It did work to some extent for him. We broke up. I wanted the friendship back and not the romance. He was in the exact position you are now being angry because i didn't want to go back to being romantic. He got mad enough to move on and we've been no more than acquaintances since then. I lost a friend and wish I'd never acquiesced. I was happy the way we were before.

 

For me it wasn't like i was rushing to get back with her. She was dropping hints about it and i wanted to be straight forward since its been a while we spoke and i thought we had a better mindset towards each other. So i just asked her if she wanted to try again and she said no.

[Redhead14]

For me it wasn't like i was rushing to get back with her. She was dropping hints about it and i wanted to be straight forward since its been a while we spoke and i thought we had a better mindset towards each other. So i just asked her if she wanted to try again and she said no.

 

She was dropping hints that she was thinking she wanted to get back together and then when you called her out on the hints, she said NO? Really. She is quite the mind "f*C)er" . . . like I said, she wanted to boost her ego. "Oh, he still cares about me . . . "