PhillyFlyBoy80 Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Some time back I wrote a post about my wife and I.....She moved out on me and our 4 kids in October where it devastated me and the kids, she said she was trying to find herself and needed space but the truth was she was indeed having an affair with a co-worker at her job....I'm working 2 jobs and doing everything for our kids where she is living life...Anyhow I asked her for financial support for our kids about a month ago and she refused to help me but in turn has become a raging alcoholic, she smokes weed now,hangs out with friends, spends the night elsewhere(nowhere to be found) but she has started to come and visit the kids more now(prior she would only call the kids daily) but when she does it's only for 30 minutes to an hour...She got upset with me back in November because I took her car(reason was she was still planning to continue her affair and we share the car), her keys to our home, took her name off the lease, and filed child support on her recently but now she is trying to make me feel bad for doing what I had to do for me and the kids....Hell she doesn't even do our girls'(3 daughters) hair, I take them to get it done...I've been allowing her to see the kids but feel she is hurting them more than helping them....Since then she has cut ties with the guy(actually he dumped her),she does regret what she did but is trying to convince me into dropping the child support, agree to terms outside of court and be cordial for the kids for now while she tries to get herself together and then we reconcile after she gets her stuff together.....Thoughts??!! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 she does regret what she did but is trying to convince me into dropping the child support, agree to terms outside of court and be cordial for the kids for now while she tries to get herself together and then we reconcile after she gets her stuff together.....Thoughts??!! Pardon the language but no frickin' way. Any possible reconciliation and your children's needed support are two different things, nothing to do with each other. She's made her bed (probably bad choice of words ), let her lay in it. Were I you, I'd flip the discussion - tell her any possibility of reconciliation is dependent on her staying current on her court-ordered financial obligations to you and her kids... Mr. Lucky 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 (edited) He dumped her so now she is coming back for you as plan B. That'll last until she hooks up with another plan A. File now you should be able to get full custody of the kids. Edited December 24, 2015 by Marc878 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 she does regret what she did Of course that's what she says now. If you believe that then I have a bridge to sell you. She is only saying she regrets it because she wants you to drop the financial claims. but is trying to convince me into dropping the child support, agree to terms outside of court and be cordial for the kids for now while she tries to get herself together and then we reconcile after she gets her stuff together.....Thoughts??!! Agree with the above, no frikkin way. Tell her that she must face the consequences of her actions and continue fulfilling her legal obligations to support her children financially. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Do it through the court system and document EVERYTHING!! If she has money for alcohol and weed, surely she can give money for the children. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 (edited) I realize you didn't mention anything about this warning I will post as an FYI. Only one instance of sexual contact with you (aka "hysterical bonding", most likely), is known as FORGIVENESS in the legal system. Such will erase her previous conduct in the eyes of the Court - and is not relevant to the future divorce proceedings, in may instances. Try not to get lured into her web of deceit. Since you were hurt badly, these temporary hook-ups with the betrayed spouse (when the affair doesn't work out) are very common. As per Mr. Lucky's post, let her demonstrate she can be a financially responsible towards the offspring she helped to create - and file this divorce asap. (You can always get married again, if you so desire). While there is some forward movement with men's rights in custody matters, I certainly would urge you to not let the situation get mucked up to a point her previous conduct is not able to come into evidence. Obviously, the use of illegal substance is not a good influence on your kids - and could put them in harm's way. Finially, I would get legal direction on changing locks. Yas Edited December 25, 2015 by Yasuandio 2 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 No sir. Your situation is "thankfully" dire enough that you have good chances of getting full custody - and this is a must if you want your girls to get through this without being severely damaged by their mother. I'm sure she would prefer having all her money to spend on weed, alcohol and clothes but that's not how it works. Don't let her run away from her responsibilities (at least the financial ones). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 Giving birth doesn't make you a mother. She is such a poor role model for your daughters, until she gets help use the Courts to minimize her time with them as well as enforce her financial responsibilities to you and your girls. Do not allow her to use your girls to negotiate a better situation for herself. Why would you want someone this fu*ked up in your girls lives? Use the Courts to protect them. Who needs a part time mother or wife? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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