What if your spouse suggested GPS tracking?

[Henry66]

Trust is an important aspect of a conjugal relationship. But the sad reality is that affairs happen every day. Even the partner whom you felt you could really trust sometimes can be deceiving and have an affair. The are many reasons that can motivate people to have affairs, which are beyond the scope of this post. But one factor that can make a difference in someone's decision to jump the fence is the belief that he or she will not get caught. Thus my question: How would you react if your spouse suggested that both of you voluntarily install a gps tracking software on your cell phones? You would both be able to track each other's location at all times during the day. In case of doubt, you could simply call to make sure your spouse did not leave the cell phone behind and ask what he/she is doing. If doubt persist you could ask your spouse to send you a picture showing where they are. Of course it's no guarantee that an affair could not happen anyway, but the idea is to reduce the risk. How would you react to such a proposition? Please also indicate if you are a man or a woman.

[Space Ritual]

Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

 

However,

 

I refuse to be a warden. If my GF or spouse is going to cheat, they will find a way regardless of whether or not I have digital footprint of their activities.

 

Just like someone on House arrest can slip an ankle bracelet off and take off and there will be an indeterminate amount of time before the authorities realize somebody has flown the coop, A GPS tracker is only fool proof if you have it embedded inside your body. Even then what is to say you would not cut it out of you and take off and leave it behind if you so desired?

 

An extreme example follows...but you will get the drift.

 

A terrorist can use the ancient money changing system of Hawala in order to procure funds to carry out an attack with little to no trail of monetary exchange. So in this example, low tech methods will ultimately rule the day over a high tech solution in just about any situation. That is a reason most terrorists that use Hawala as an international currency exchange are successful more often than not. It is simple human desire to beat something people consider flawless.

 

The real question is, what the hell type of relationship does someone have where both partners are tracking each other with GPS all the time? Madhatters perhaps? That a relationship I would be exiting as soon as possible.

[sandylee1]

I'd wonder why he was suggesting it, but I have nothing to hide on where I go at all. I'd be fine with it if it's what he wanted.

[TunaCat]

I would want to know why he doesn't trust me. I mean, come on, why else would someone want to put a tracker on my phone?

 

I would not be okay with having GPS tracking on my phone and I would flat out tell him that it was not going to happen.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I would never be in a relationship where GPS tracking was required!! Gross!!

 

My guy is not supposed to be "big brother" monitoring me and I wouldn't have any desire to do that to him either.

[smackie9]

In the days before cel phones, I had a BF that phoned me to make sure I was at home.......he was a controlling a sshole.

[d0nnivain]

I would want to know why he stopped trusting me. I can't imagine a situation under which I'd be comfortable with this but if I had kids I would absolutely have a tracker on their phones. Such a precaution is about protecting them from dangers & immaturity rather than a lack of trust in them.

[Spectre]

Here is the thing though and I do get where the people with a problem with this are coming from and I am not saying I would do it..but here is the thing: you trusting a person doesn't actually prevent them from betraying you. In fact it makes it easier to deceive if the person trusts you.

 

So for me I honestly think there needs to be a balance since trusting someone just makes it all the move devastating if they hurt you. There is also the fact that being cheated on effects future relationships as well. So I don't know, you have to wonder about a "better safe then sorry" approach when it comes to ways to potentially show you aren't stepping out.

 

So it's a double edged sword, because the "oh you should trust me" is a valid thing to say, but has also been the cause of countless heart break.

[Spectre]

I would want to know why he stopped trusting me. I can't imagine a situation under which I'd be comfortable with this but if I had kids I would absolutely have a tracker on their phones. Such a precaution is about protecting them from dangers & immaturity rather than a lack of trust in them.

 

This just reflects back on me saying that cheating effects future relationships as well. I am being serious when I say you could literally of done nothing wrong but it could be one day your boyfriend realizes how serious the relationship you guys have is..and if perhaps he has been cheated on in the past suddenly the paranoia sets in. I am just giving you potential reasons..it is not always about you.

 

Let me tell you this: the desire to protect yourself from ever feeling such pain again tends to be stronger then the desire to 100% trust.

[The Way I Am]

My first thought was how much effort it would take to keep checking on my bf/husband. How dreadful it would be calling him to check up on him and ask him to send photos of where he was. If I was doing that, how horrible and insecure I must feel about our relationship to think that were necessary.

 

My second thought was that GPS software would probably be a drain on my phone battery.

 

My third thought was that if my partner wanted me to do that, he must really feel horrible in our relationship and it's probably time to either go to counseling or end it.

[Rejected Rosebud]

This just reflects back on me saying that cheating effects future relationships as well. I am being serious when I say you could literally of done nothing wrong but it could be one day your boyfriend realizes how serious the relationship you guys have is..and if perhaps he has been cheated on in the past suddenly the paranoia sets in. I am just giving you potential reasons..it is not always about you.

 

Let me tell you this: the desire to protect yourself from ever feeling such pain again tends to be stronger then the desire to 100% trust.

 

Then if the only thing that can make you feel safe enough to be in a relationship again is the ability to track your SO - you are not ready to be in a relationship at all.

 

Part of the whole thing is to put your trust in another human being. Many times this is a terrible mistake but it's what love IS.

 

You can't control people. The mentality of a person who would require a tracking device on their spouse is not going to EVER be satisfied with that.

[Spectre]

Yes love is trusting, but then love is also not sleeping with other people and yet you see plenty of people on this board claiming love whilst also admitting to banging others so..I don't think the entire thing is that black and white.

[GemmaUK]

No way in hell - I don't want to track someone I am dating nor would I want to be tracked - ridiculous!

 

I saw a documentary on abusive partners last year - it gave a big warning to women to check a phone given to them by a partner. It's a common thing now that some men will their partners phones and install GPS on them.

[loveweary11]

Insta-divorce.

 

Would not be in a relationship where there is no trust.

[Space Ritual]

Thinking about this thread and the initial post,

 

Would it be a stretch to consider that the reason Henry posted this is because perhaps he himself may have been busted and a condition of reconciliation from his wife is that she be able to track his movements?

 

I only ask this because the request to be gender specific and the overall tone of the initial post seems to come from somebody that simply wants to continue to be a cake eater? as In "I can't believe she wants to be able to find me even though I have given her no indication whatsoever I can be trusted?"

 

I just got that impression after rereading it a few times this afternoon

 

Am I the only one that thought this when I read the initial post?

[Buck Turgidson]

Yes love is trusting, but then love is also not sleeping with other people and yet you see plenty of people on this board claiming love whilst also admitting to banging others so..I don't think the entire thing is that black and white.

 

But it really is. You are missing the real solution which is to accept that cheating sometimes happens and that it might happen in whatever relationship you're in now. Cheating is a risk we take--- we always take--- when we choose to enter a relationship.

 

Let me tell you this: the desire to protect yourself from ever feeling such pain again tends to be stronger then the desire to 100% trust.

 

You will never be protected from feeling such pain, not ever. That will never happen. No matter how many GPS trackers you put on their phone or in their car, no matter how often you require them to check in, no matter what rules about being alone with other people you enforce, no matter how many friends you make them drop because they frighten you. Not ever. Not so long as you choose to be in a relationship. Love is also vulnerability.

Edited December 24, 2015 by Buck Turgidson

[Space Ritual]

Nice to see General Turgidson is alive and well.

 

LOL

 

"Well, I, uh, don't think it's quite fair to condemn a whole program because of a single slip-up, sir."

 

Greatest movie of all time.

[road]

Trust is an important aspect of a conjugal relationship. But the sad reality is that affairs happen every day. Even the partner whom you felt you could really trust sometimes can be deceiving and have an affair. The are many reasons that can motivate people to have affairs, which are beyond the scope of this post. But one factor that can make a difference in someone's decision to jump the fence is the belief that he or she will not get caught. Thus my question: How would you react if your spouse suggested that both of you voluntarily install a gps tracking software on your cell phones? You would both be able to track each other's location at all times during the day. In case of doubt, you could simply call to make sure your spouse did not leave the cell phone behind and ask what he/she is doing. If doubt persist you could ask your spouse to send you a picture showing where they are. Of course it's no guarantee that an affair could not happen anyway, but the idea is to reduce the risk. How would you react to such a proposition? Please also indicate if you are a man or a woman.

 

 

Those that have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

[road]

I would want to know why he doesn't trust me. I mean, come on, why else would someone want to put a tracker on my phone?

 

I would not be okay with having GPS tracking on my phone and I would flat out tell him that it was not going to happen.

 

Many reasons to not trust though I will say that many a WS did not plan to cheat but we all get tempted. Thinking that they will never get caught is the final justification to cheat.

 

 

Being GPS'd will make many think twice about getting caught and then not cheat.

 

 

The cost of prevention is less then the cost of the cure.

[tuxedo cat]

I know someone who made her whole family install GPS apps on their phones that inform her of all of their movements.

Edited December 25, 2015 by tuxedo cat

[smackie9]

If someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat regardless. If you are that paranoid, then you may as well be alone.

[Spectre]

But it really is. You are missing the real solution which is to accept that cheating sometimes happens and that it might happen in whatever relationship you're in now. Cheating is a risk we take--- we always take--- when we choose to enter a relationship.

 

 

 

You will never be protected from feeling such pain, not ever. That will never happen. No matter how many GPS trackers you put on their phone or in their car, no matter how often you require them to check in, no matter what rules about being alone with other people you enforce, no matter how many friends you make them drop because they frighten you. Not ever. Not so long as you choose to be in a relationship. Love is also vulnerability.

 

Yes you can accept cheating happens, but you can also try to prepare for it or make sure you see it coming.

 

So no it's really not all that black and white.

[Spectre]

If someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat regardless. If you are that paranoid, then you may as well be alone.

 

Actually utterly false. Sometimes people cheat only because they feel they will not get caught. So nope, you can't say it will always happen regardless. If they know they are being closely watched then a person might not.

 

Does this mean I am advocating GPS? No, but please don't throw out these things like it is true 100% of the time because it just plain isn't and never will be.

 

Again why I said the whole "it's not black and white" and it never ever will be. In a perfect world love would totally be black and white, but alas..tis not a perfect world.

[The Way I Am]

I think it constantly being watched would make a person more likely to cheat. Because feeling like you're being constantly watched watched and not trusted would make you feel unhappy and distant from your partner. That's when the majority of cheating happens. Not when people are happy with their partners but think they can get away with cheating.

 

Of course there are always going to be some people who will cheat even in a happy relationship, but even with GPS, those people will find ways to get away with it. For that type of person, it might even add to the excitement.

[smackie9]

Actually utterly false. Sometimes people cheat only because they feel they will not get caught. So nope, you can't say it will always happen regardless. If they know they are being closely watched then a person might not.

 

Does this mean I am advocating GPS? No, but please don't throw out these things like it is true 100% of the time because it just plain isn't and never will be.

 

Again why I said the whole "it's not black and white" and it never ever will be. In a perfect world love would totally be black and white, but alas..tis not a perfect world.

False, people who are willing to cheat are risk takers, liars, and ignore the consequences. GPS can easily be duped. For example, BF at home claiming to be sick. OW comes over to bang BF while GF is a work. BF out at pub with friends, gets buddy to lie and buddy holds onto phone, while BF meets up at OW's flat that is a block away to bang. BF claims to be at work in a meeting all day, leaves phone there for the day, goes and meets OW, has lunch, goes to her place to bang. I can go on and on. Thinking GPS is a deterant is a fruitless venture.