Bobbi7 Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 I would like to take a vacation, like twice to three times a year, job permitting, but I seriously have no friends to go with. No one. I asked 2 "friends" in the past if they wanted to go-they both declined. One was married and the other was single. My friend who's single told me she preferred to go with her family. I was like wth? I mean, who wouldn't want to take a vacation to the Bahamas, or go on a cruise??? Which tells me that they don't want to go with ME. I must suck as a person, am I a disease or something? Everyone that I know, either is married-would prefer to go with their spouses or doesn't even want to go. What's the problem? I have no boyfriend, so I can't go, and I'm not interested in going by myself-I would prefer to go with someone, I'm not outgoing, so talking to strangers along the way isn't going to help me. I haven't done alot of meet-up groups-only one person I met and everything was half-ass. No real friendship came out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 With cruise capacity what it is these days, even with the single supplement, it's still an outstanding deal and a lot of people cruise as singles or they're married and like to mingle We did a fair amount of cruising while married and I found the place to get to know people best was when we weren't off on activities on-shore every day; that meant the longer cruises or transats. I vacationed alone from roughly age 18 to my late 30's. All over the world. Never a dull moment. Save for my purposeful camping vacations in the wilderness, people were everywhere so I was never really alone. I made more trips to Asia and Oceania by myself than with my wife and, sure, we had fun together but I also had fun alone. The difference was different people rather than one steady companion. Up to you. Lots of opportunities out there. Good luck and happy Holidays! Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 Do it alone. I did it back in the day when I was single and had a great time. Link to post Share on other sites
sportygirl89 Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 I went on a cruise recently single with a friend who was recently divorced. It was fun! It was a few years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobbi7 Posted December 25, 2015 Author Share Posted December 25, 2015 I told my friend, that I was planning on going alone to Florida-she told me that it wasn't "safe." I don't know what the hell she was talking about since I asked her if she wanted to go and she declined. I want to go to Disney world, but that would be pretty sad going alone, seeing that there are a bunch of families and friends going together. And no, I'm not traveling alone, it's NOT safe, I'm a single female. I had thought about it before, but it's not safe, I dont know why ppl keep telling me that. Men can travel alone to unknown territory, women can't. Chances of women that are alone will probably get raped or mugged. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 And no, I'm not traveling alone, it's NOT safe, I'm a single female. I had thought about it before, but it's not safe, I dont know why ppl keep telling me that. Men can travel alone to unknown territory, women can't. Chances of women that are alone will probably get raped or mugged. Piffle. I am a woman and have travelled alone all over the world; Panama, Columbia, Brazil, Scotland, England, all over the U.S. All.By.Myself. Just do the research - Lonely Planet or Trip Advisor. There is no reason you can't travel alone other than your own paranoia against it. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 Go on a cruise but do your research because some lines charge extra if you are travelling alone. Go to Bermuda which is a beautiful island and very safe. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 I told my friend, that I was planning on going alone to Florida-she told me that it wasn't "safe." I don't know what the hell she was talking about since I asked her if she wanted to go and she declined. I want to go to Disney world, but that would be pretty sad going alone, seeing that there are a bunch of families and friends going together. And no, I'm not traveling alone, it's NOT safe, I'm a single female. I had thought about it before, but it's not safe, I dont know why ppl keep telling me that. Men can travel alone to unknown territory, women can't. Chances of women that are alone will probably get raped or mugged. Never going to happen in the touristy parts of Orlando. You could send a 14 year old girl there alone and she'd be fine. Same is true of South Beach. All you need to do is not take food or open drinks from creepy strangers who might roofie you. That's it. Otherwise, the whole area is full of people, cameras and security. There is nothing dangerous going on in the tourist places. Reason being, those are what support the local economy. A single incident can cost many, many millions in lost business. The local governments aren't having that! Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 I told my friend, that I was planning on going alone to Florida-she told me that it wasn't "safe." I don't know what the hell she was talking about since I asked her if she wanted to go and she declined. I want to go to Disney world, but that would be pretty sad going alone, seeing that there are a bunch of families and friends going together. And no, I'm not traveling alone, it's NOT safe, I'm a single female. I had thought about it before, but it's not safe, I dont know why ppl keep telling me that. Men can travel alone to unknown territory, women can't. Chances of women that are alone will probably get raped or mugged. When I divorced I began traveling a lot, much of it alone just because I hadn't been alone in forever. I loved it and still do and have yet to end up in a situation that was the least bit scary - except for some cliff jumping and a few rough flights. Your quote that the chances are a solo woman will get raped or mugged is just ridiculous. Women travel alone all the time and love it. Something bad is just as likely to happen to me on a trip to the grocery store as it is traveling on my own. But it's your life - you can go out and live it traveling solo if you have to, or you can complain about the people who won't go with you and just never go anywhere and experience anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobbi7 Posted December 25, 2015 Author Share Posted December 25, 2015 Yeah, but what about when it's time to eat? What, I'm going to eat at a packed restaurant all by myself being the lone wolf? That's just awkward. I don't talk to anyone, I'm not outgoing, maybe some of you are able to talk to strangers, but not me. So, it's much safer to travel to South Beach alone rather than going to a bar/club alone? A female can't go to a bar alone, but she can travel thousands of miles to Mexico and be safe???? It doesn't make sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 You're talking about going to Disney World, not some sketchy city in South America. Nobody's going to rape you. What's wrong with eating alone? I'm a bit shy around people I don't know, and even I find joy in having the occasional meal out somewhere by myself. I find it relaxing in a way that sharing a meal with someone else can't be. I find myself more mindful of my surroundings, which is something that can be all too lacking in today's go-go-go world. You seem to have a list of reasons not to travel alone, but most of them are baseless and rooted in irrational fears. Chances are, unless you're undressing yourself or throwing stuff, no one in a restaurant is going to pay you any mind. They're there to enjoy their meal, not scope out and mock people eating by themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 IDK, from my experiences in north and south beach (Miami) I couldn't, after awhile, tell who was alone and who wasn't. It was like one pressing mass of humanity We usually stayed in north beach because it was quieter. The little art deco place we stayed at was cheap and perfect for singles. Nice beach across the street and an easy walk or cab to the action. One place I ran into a ton of single women (while married) was at music festivals and concerts in Australia. We were all drinking and dancing and I was pretty impressed how the guys would look out for the gals if one of the guys got too fresh and it was unwanted, whether in the bars or in the streets (live music throughout the streets as well at the festivals). I can't think of a single negative experience in Australia and I've seen a bunch of it. Good folks. You'll see a group of them, I think all single, surrounding me in one of the pictures in my albums. Well, one of them was married, my wife at the time. Heh. Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 If you would like to go on a vacation, and nobody wants to go with you, you need to figure out how to make it happen on your own. I'm surprised that you feel weird about eating alone in a restaurant, I think you need to get over that. I can understand not wanting to go to Disney World alone but a cruise or to some resort or city? Or travel around Europe on a train? Do it! Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 If you do go on a boat just eat in the buffet and nobody will care you alone. Most people are too wrapped in themselves to even notice what you are doing and who you are with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 Yeah, but what about when it's time to eat? What, I'm going to eat at a packed restaurant all by myself being the lone wolf? That's just awkward. I don't talk to anyone, I'm not outgoing, maybe some of you are able to talk to strangers, but not me. So, it's much safer to travel to South Beach alone rather than going to a bar/club alone? A female can't go to a bar alone, but she can travel thousands of miles to Mexico and be safe???? It doesn't make sense. It is only awkward because you are making it so. I was a food-and-wine writer when I traveled alone so the bulk of my traveling was to eat - and that involved dining alone. Truthfully, I enjoyed the peace and serenity of not having to make conversation over a meal and always traveled with a book. Now that I am married, I still take myself out to lunch; just to have a nice meal by myself. Please just 'fess up that it is not something you are comfortable doing, but don't make grandiose and flat-out statements that it is unsafe or nonsensical when so many of us have done it. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 Yeah, but what about when it's time to eat? What, I'm going to eat at a packed restaurant all by myself being the lone wolf? That's just awkward. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. I've eaten at a restaurant on my own and couldn't have cared less about what people thought, if they even noticed I was sitting alone. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 (edited) I go 2-3 times every year to ski vacations, a whole week every time, and I go alone. I have no friends who like skiing. I enjoy my skiing very much. I ski by my self or with people i temporary meet there. The social bonding in ski resorts is great, everybody feel they're friends of everybody. (Girls\women - If you are looking for men, this is the perfect place for you, most skiers are men, and there are many single men there, and they adore girls who can ski or snowboard, every girl there gets a lot of attention but many of them are shy men, so you'll have to make the first move sometimes - just for you to know ) The first 10 years after my children were born, me and my wife took only separate vacations. I went many times for a week. To london, italy, ireland, and so... The type of vacations you wanna go (cruises and so) are characterized by social bonding atmosphere. People feel free to talk to strangers and adopt them as temporary friends, and sometimes you can gain new real friends there. There are cruises that have stuff who perform live shows, and in between seat with the guests on breakfast to dinner for mingling. Go and have fun. Edited December 25, 2015 by lolablue17 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 So far I've been alone to every vacation (except for the annual family vacation) except one time a friend accompanied me (in my age range the major reason for this is the lack of income I guess). It's nothing to be ashamed of. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 If you don't want to feel so alone, go on a guided tour with a group. I'm going on vacation next year and that's what I'm doing as a teaser before I go on vaca on my own. Make sure the group is not too large and you'll be good. Link to post Share on other sites
aprilisi Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 I'm the same way. I am a woman in my 30s and there's so many places I would like to go. Three years ago I went to a show in DC alone. I had a good time. But I was among other fans. I meant a guy I'd been talking to online for years at our fan community and others too. Been to other shows by myself too. But the beach would be different. I would be alone. Watching other couples and families have fun. I want to go but the thought depresses me. Link to post Share on other sites
Standard-Fare Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 OP, I don't know what your friend situation is like but you might want to be casting a wider net. Think of friends from the past, send out group emails, post on Facebook, etc. One problem might be that you're proposing very specific trips, already formed in your head, that you expect other people to fit into. It doesn't work that way. People don't want their vacations dictated. When you're going with others there's usually some brainstorming and compromising at the first part so all parties are getting something they want. So, like, instead of "I want someone to join me for Disney World," it would be more productive to try something like "Anyone interested in escaping to somewhere warm in the winter? I was thinking of Florida." And maybe you'll have a friend who wants to hit the beaches, who could possibly be talked into a day trip to Disney World too. Or maybe you have a friend who proposes an entirely different plan, like going to Mexico, that you wouldn't have thought of on your own. (Just a theoretical example.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Standard-Fare Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 Adding to the above, here are two decent "transition steps" to get comfortable traveling alone (that have worked for me): 1) Maybe a friend can join you for one element of a trip, but not the whole thing. So you can do one city/aspect on your own and meet up with the friend later. (I did this once on a Seattle/Vancouver trip - I did Seattle alone and joined my friend in Vancouver afterwards. It was my first time traveling alone.) 2) Road trip with multiple stops. You'll be on the move so much that you won't be worried about being alone. And a lot of your meals will be on the road (eliminating your concerns about dining alone). Alternate 3, which can be combined with either of the above: Plan your trips around VISITING friends and family members in far-flung places. Every time one of my friends moves across the country or abroad, I make a point of planning a trip to visit them. Through this tactic I've visited South America, London, Hawaii, along some cool cities in the US I wouldn't have seen otherwise. If you're worried about being a burden, arrange to stay in a hotel for part of the trip rather than crashing with the friend the whole time. Or maybe stay in the hotel the WHOLE time but meet up with the friend for dinners and activities. Link to post Share on other sites
Lobouspo Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 I recently traveled alone for the first time. I went to London. While I did meet someone I met online there, most of my time was spent alone. Honestly I had more fun doing stuff by myself then when I hooked up with my "internet friend" at night. Do it, traveling creates memories that last a lifetime!!! Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 fwiw, if I wasn't in a situation, I would consider volunteering to go with you... I can see two sides here. Sometimes it's fun doing new things on your own, but there are some people who thrive on that interaction with another person. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 If they go with their family, the family will likely pay for it. Vacations are expensive. That alone would keep most people from going with you. No friend has ever gone on a vacation with me. If you wrangle an overnight at a concert, you are lucky. I go by myself. I have gone with my sister in the distant past. But I go by myself and sometimes I may go where there is a friend or something like that, but not always. You can't wait for other people to start living your life. Or you'll never do anything. Seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
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