I have a long-term relationship but I haven't been loyal

[Sophiaaz]

Hi, so I'm 18 and a freshman in university, and I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years and a half. For the first 3 years and 3 months we weren't in the same country, but then I moved to the US for university. Since I moved, and we're not at the same Uni, so many guys have been giving me attention and been asking me out etc, and I've been enjoying it and I cheated on my boyfriend once, and have been flirting with a couple of other guys.

 

My boyfriend is 21, and is extremely loyal and serious about our relationship, he wants us to get married and has our whole lives planned out.

 

We've broken up a few times but it never lasted more than a week, and I've been very conflicted about what I need to do. I want to have fun with other guys, and know what it's like to be with someone else, I've never been in a relationship with anyone other than him.

 

On the other hand, I love him a lot and the attraction is there, and all is nice and amazing when I'm with him. But when I'm not with him I can't stop thinking of other guys, and I want to be with other guys.

 

I don't know what to do..

[ExpatInItaly]

Break up with your boyfriend.

 

You're so young and not ready to commit yet. There's plenty of time to get serious with someone. Until then, be single and enjoy your freedom.

[Buddhist]

so many guys have been giving me attention and been asking me out etc, and I've been enjoying it and I cheated on my boyfriend once, and have been flirting with a couple of other guys.

 

I didn't need to read any further than here. You need to break up with your boyfriend and go and satisfy your ego at someone else's expense. I know you're only 18 but jeez the lack of any kind of character here is pretty astounding.

[Space Ritual]

Hi, so I'm 18 and a freshman in university, and I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years and a half. For the first 3 years and 3 months we weren't in the same country, but then I moved to the US for university. Since I moved, and we're not at the same Uni, so many guys have been giving me attention and been asking me out etc, and I've been enjoying it and I cheated on my boyfriend once, and have been flirting with a couple of other guys.

 

My boyfriend is 21, and is extremely loyal and serious about our relationship, he wants us to get married and has our whole lives planned out.

 

We've broken up a few times but it never lasted more than a week, and I've been very conflicted about what I need to do. I want to have fun with other guys, and know what it's like to be with someone else, I've never been in a relationship with anyone other than him.

 

On the other hand, I love him a lot and the attraction is there, and all is nice and amazing when I'm with him. But when I'm not with him I can't stop thinking of other guys, and I want to be with other guys.

 

I don't know what to do..

 

It''s really quite simple,

 

You want to bang other guys, fair enough.

But not as his girlfriend.

 

Break up with him so he can actually be loved by someone, who isn't you.

 

Yes it's really that simple.

[Space Ritual]

I didn't need to read any further than here. You need to break up with your boyfriend and go and satisfy your ego at someone else's expense. I know you're only 18 but jeez the lack of any kind of character here is pretty astounding.

 

I don't expect a lot from 18 year olds. I Frankly don't expect a lot from 28, 38 and 48 year olds either but I guess we need to remember lack of character and selfishness knows no age limit. lol

[smackie9]

Hun truly you are not at a place in your life to be in a committed relationship that is leading to marriage. You are so young. You should be enjoying adventures,and different experiences. There will be plenty of time years down the road to settle down with a man that will be your husband. Break up with your BF for good. Be honest with him and tell him why you need to end it. It will prevent him from contacting you again, to hoover you back into a relationship that you have no business being in.

[road]

Hi, so I'm 18 and a freshman in university, and I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years and a half. For the first 3 years and 3 months we weren't in the same country, but then I moved to the US for university. Since I moved, and we're not at the same Uni, so many guys have been giving me attention and been asking me out etc, and I've been enjoying it and I cheated on my boyfriend once, and have been flirting with a couple of other guys.

 

My boyfriend is 21, and is extremely loyal and serious about our relationship, he wants us to get married and has our whole lives planned out.

 

We've broken up a few times but it never lasted more than a week, and I've been very conflicted about what I need to do. I want to have fun with other guys, and know what it's like to be with someone else, I've never been in a relationship with anyone other than him.

 

On the other hand, I love him a lot and the attraction is there, and all is nice and amazing when I'm with him. But when I'm not with him I can't stop thinking of other guys, and I want to be with other guys.

 

I don't know what to do..

 

 

 

 

Break up and tell him the truth as to why and what you did.

[sandylee1]

You've been together since 15 ..... you're too young to commit and you need to tell him that you love him..... but you haven't lived life yet and you don't want to have any regrets later on.

 

The fact that you've cheated could be a dealbreaker for him..... so it's best to be honest about that.. I know it will be hard to do... but rather than you having a guilty conscience and telling him 10 years from now... tell him now.

 

Are you sorry you cheated?

 

Let me tell you something ..... betraying the one you claim to love is very painful on them. Don't cheat on anyone again. Take yourself away from those situations where temptation could lead to more.

 

How would you feel if you knew he cheated on you?

 

You've been LDR for 3 year plus.. have you been physical with him?

Did you actually sleep with the other guy ?

[Spectre]

Op the problem is if you loved this guy you wouldn't of cheated on him. So realize you don't love him and set him free so he can find someone better who won't be so disrespectful. Realize that with true love cheating doesn't enter the equation. You are young, but that is not an excuse as plenty of people have met their soul mate at a young age.

 

Use this experience to grow and learn about what love truly means.

 

The fact that you've cheated could be a dealbreaker for him..... so it's best to be honest about that.. I know it will be hard to do... but rather than you having a guilty conscience and telling him 10 years from now... tell him now.

 

I couldn't agree more with you here Sandy I feel cheating needs to be disclosed right away and waiting years is just stealing years of a persons life you know? So like yeah it might be decent that a person eventually tells the truth, but it doesn't mean the years they stole up to that point are suddenly returned, so I do agree best to always be honest upfront.

Edited December 27, 2015 by Spectre