mo mo Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 There is a situation a good friend of mine is currently going through, and I'm really not sure if it's normal, weird, or whatever, and I don't know if this could potentially affect his life/marriage/family. He's been married for a little over 2 years now. He has a child that's a little over a year old with this woman. They are both in their mid 30s. They don't see each other often. He lives and works in upstate NY, just north of the Hudson Valley makes good money because he works overnight sometimes, weekends, holidays, etc. so on those occasions the money piles up. He lives in a townhouse that he bought before he met the woman he eventually married. He plays a lot of video games. She used to live in NYC, met him and they moved in together, got married, etc. Here's the thing: her employment has never been steady: she does have a job working at a stadium, but she supposedly did not want to keep doing that. During baseball season she basically lives at home with her mother and the child. She sees the husband (my friend) either when the team is away, or when his work schedule permits it. I didn't think too much of this arrangement, until yesterday, Christmas Eve. I was hanging out with him because he had to cancel plans we had earlier in the week. While we were hanging out, it was revealed he hadn't seen his wife or child since the week before, and he will not see them until next week most likely. So.. there has to be something going on here I don't quite understand. I don't see how they could agree to basically live apart during this time of year, especially with such a small child (who is actually currently sick). A few more notes: -They both drive and they both have cars, so traveling to meet each other is not an issue. I'd say the homes are 60-90 minutes apart (depending on traffic) -He is definitely not cheating on her -He's been my friend for about 7-8 years. I was a groomsman at the wedding, and he will be a groomsman at mine next year. -Last time I saw the wife was at the baby shower. I have never met the baby. Help me dissect this one folks. I have a feeling my friend is very lonely and I'm concerned. Link to post Share on other sites
Gemma1 Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 If you've been friends for that long and are close, why not talk to him about it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mo mo Posted December 26, 2015 Author Share Posted December 26, 2015 If you've been friends for that long and are close, why not talk to him about it? I wouldn't say we're THAT close. He has certain political beliefs that I really don't agree with. He's not exactly the first person I'd call if I need some manly advice. Anyway, I suspect that she is just really attached to her life at home, her mom, etc. and she doesn't want to move on. However, I just want to know if anyone has seen anything similar Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 if they are only 90 minutes apart, yes it does not make much sense, especially during the holidays. I used to travel twice as far as that just to visit my GF on weekends before we got married. LTRs are tough, and the way to keep them alive is to have as much communications and contact as you can. There might be a reason HE can not leave...like he has to be on call? Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 When our daughter was little she hated, HATED being in the car. Often she would get herself really worked-up. 60 minutes is an eternity with a child that's screaming bloody murder!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mo mo Posted December 28, 2015 Author Share Posted December 28, 2015 to spanz1: He has a townhouse that she moved into when they originally got married. She was supposed to get work in a doctor's office in that area doing simple things like taking blood, blood pressure, etc. She even got a certification for that. She is choosing to stay with mom at home, still working her old job that only lasts during baseball season. Baseball season is over and she still wants to stay with mom a lot. He has no reason to leave. He is the one that has the house after all, and he welcomed her into his life/home/etc. You would think a young woman would jump at the opportunity to leave home, right? to shattered lady, I see what you're saying, but that's a poor reason. Besides, my point is this was never supposed to be a long term relationship, they actually technically live together, she just chooses to spend weeks at a time down at her mother's. Before anyone asks, no her mom is not sick. Link to post Share on other sites
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